Weekend Update

We are taking care of Mimi and Guy's cat, Winston, while they are in Finland and Russia. Winston is a bit nervous about us barging in all the time, but he LOVES Wm. Every time we go, Wm wants to come and he and Winston are best buds. Winston immediately runs up to Wm, flops onto his back, shows his fuzzy white belly, and purrs as Wm scratches his chin and pats his belly. Wm loves the kitty cats! (In fact, his first word was "kitty!")

Wm & Winston

Wm was invited to a pretty big sleep over last night with the most kids yet. I wasn't sure what the meal situation would be like, so I tried to fix him a jazzy snack before he left. I have discovered Wm eats MUCH better if his food is cute or interesting. I had seen a hot dog octopus online and decided to try and recreate it.

EXPECTATION

REALITY

Unfortunately, Wm had a TERRIBLE sleep over experience (he was crying when Steve got there to pick him up and cried the whole time I stuffed a bit of breakfast in him). We got him home at 9am (he was supposed to go to baseball at 10), but he immediately fell asleep.  We gently roused him at 1pm so he could eat something. He ate some lunch and went upstairs to play - but about 30 minutes later I went up an he was out like a light again. It's now 3pm and he's still dead to the world. I think we have discovered that too many kids/too much action doesn't work well for Wm!! We'll keep it small scale from now on.

And Jess sent me another gem!!! I sent it to Steve and he goes, "That is TOTALLY me!" Hahaha!!!

Jess nailed it again! :)

Big Kid Decisions

We woke up this morning to nature's majesty hanging out in our backyard:

Deer snoozing under our tree!

Schroeder reeeeally wanted to go out and play with the deer. He spent his morning like this:

Not a giant mouse, Schroeder.

I love that we are in an "urban neighborhood," but we have all kinds of wildlife hanging around! I saw a fox the other day!! And, also, I love that I just read an article about how The Ville has become so coveted that not only are houses selling before the "For Sale" sign even goes up, but there are bidding wars on nearly every house! So real estate agents in The Ville are telling buyers to just come out with their "highest and best offer" right out of the gate and most houses are selling for ABOVE list price! We're sitting on a gold mine! There are about 4 houses on our street that have had multiple offers before the listing is even active. Wheeee!!

Wm is done with school, but Summer Clubhouse doesn't start until Monday. So he decided to tag along to work with me today. He loves hanging out in "his" office next door. I don't have the heart to tell him that my student assistant is showing up soon and she believes that that is her office. I sense a turf war brewing.

Wm loves my office because it has "great wifi"

I told him I will take him to Whole Foods for lunch and he can get a piece of pizza and a cookie. He is exceedingly pleased with this plan.

Wm told me last night that he has made some decisions, now that he is a 4th grader. Here are the things he is going to start doing right away now that he is a Big Kid:

1. He will go to sleep without anyone else upstairs and get his own bedtime water, if needed.

2. He will "stop whining about death."

3. He will help me cook dinner and eat what everyone else is eating, as it is prepared.

I am interested to see how his new plan goes. This was a surprise and completely Wm-driven. He may have had an ulterior motive, because he finished by saying, "now that I am in 4th grade, and made these decisions, I feel like I should have a later bedtime." His current bedtime is 8:30pm. I told him, during the summer, he can stay up until 9pm. But, once school starts, we will have to look at how things are rolling and possibly adjust to 8:45pm. He was happy with that and an agreement was reached.

Wm also said that, starting next school year, he is going to make and pack his own lunch! We'll see how that goes!

Fourth Grader

Wm came home from school yesterday with a picture of him milking a cow! His Math teacher is sort of hoisting him up so he can reach. Wm captioned it, "I don't want to do this." When I asked why, he goes, "the udder was super gross - leathery and covered in scraggly hair...I did not want to touch it." So the hoisting then looked more like supportive insistence. 

Milk Man

Today was Wm's last day of 3rd grade! Steve and I went to Lunch on the Lawn with Wm and watched the PTA band, the "Dad Gummits" and got some tacos from the food truck there. It was a gorgeous day - sunny, not too hot, no humidity. Then we both decided to not go back to work this afternoon and took Wm for ice cream to celebrate his promotion to 4th grade!!

Sprinkle cone of happiness!

You may have a little something on your face...

Yep - got it.

Wm got an awesome report card, his teacher had great things to say about him, and he is now a big 4th grader!! His next to last year of elementary school! Time flies!

Mortality

I heard snifflings coming from Wm's room last night and he was weeping around about his own mortality again. So I tried to be all, "I will be waiting at the end of the tunnel of light for you in heaven!" (Which I do not believe at all, but, whatever it takes to calm him down.) He insisted that that did not make him feel better this time because he has thought about it and is sure there is nothing. So I tried a different approach…

Me: Well, if there's nothing, what are you afraid of?
Wm: I do not want to NOT exist!
Me: But you wouldn't even be aware of your nonexistence.
Wm: That does no help AT ALL! [fresh tears]
Me: Well, if you think this life is all that you have, you are really wasting it horribly being upset about death all the time. You should cherish every single moment. Appreciate the way the breeze feels in your hair, the sound of the rain on the roof, the plentiful and delicious food you have ready access to, laughing with your friends, the feeling of grass under your bare feet as you run through the sprinkler, your soft, comfortable bed, the unconditional love of your parents - all of these things you do not pay attention to every single day. Maybe instead of crying about your own death, which you know is happening, maybe you should spend your life being kind, helping others, and living every moment to the fullest!
Wm: Did you just fart in my bed?
Me: MAYBE.
Wm: That is not improving my life.


Also, Jess sent me a link to these and this is my favorite one. I owe Jess a debt of gratitude for sharing all the awesomeness!!

Worn Out

Wm is running on fumes! On Friday, he had to be at school an hour early and they drove out to Loudenville, OH to their Math teacher's 1,000+ cow dairy farm. Wm got to milk a cow, eat ice cream from the milk at the farm, bottle feed a baby cow, go hiking on the 700 acres, and made friends with a another baby cow (who he got to officially name - Polka Dot!) I guess the baby cow kept nuzzling him and mooed sadly when he left. Wm was very  moved and has decided he won't eat beef anymore (and even refused one of his favorite meals - a hamburger - that night!)  He didn't get home until nearly 5pm. And he was worn out!

When he got home, he said his neck hurt. Wm is the proud owner of his very first ever sunburn!

Red Neck Willie!

Wm also finally did his "Wonders of Ohio" presentation on Oxley Hall and it was a great success! Steve had 0 to do with it because I am in charge of the oversight of all English/Social Studies homework and projects (Steve is Math/Science). Since Prezi is online, Wm didn't take anything to school with him and just fired it up on his school ChromeBook.  We had it done well in advance, so we actually forgot which day it was until Wm came home and said he had done it. We decided to mess with Steve a bit because it's our hobby....

SUCCESS! 

Because he forgave me for evilly teasing him, Steve sent me this because it is SO SPOT ON. Loved it:

PREACH!

After the Wonders Project ("Wonders of America" happens in 4th grade and "Wonders of the World" in 5th! So more Wonders coming!) and the dairy farm trip, for some reason we decided it was a great time for Wm to have his first ever sleep over at our place last night. Wm invited his 2 best friends and we entertained them with pizza, s'mores, camp fires, throwing things off Wm's high porch, and endless video games. Suzanne came over for moral support, so that was awesome. Otherwise we would have been outnumbered. The boys built a fort in the living room to "camp" in and stayed up past midnight giggling like morons in their sleeping bags. Luckily, they were pretty quiet and Steve and I got to sleep without a problem. HOWEVER, the nerds were up and about and VERY LOUD at 6:45am. So that was not cool.  But the real victim here is Schroeder - who was at DEFCON 5 for the entire sleep over (I have been told NOT to call it a "slumber party"). We needed to clean the hell out of the house after it was (almost) empty of small beings (Wm keeps hanging around). We haven't had the heart to sweep yet because Schroeder is barely alive:

Zonked out

Dead to the world...sweeping paused.

Wm had the TIME OF HIS LIFE! I also have a feeling he is going to sleep reeeeeeally well tonight!

Awesome Kiddo

THE BEST KID EVER

Steve emailed Wm's teacher and offered some coolers/ice (as requested) for the Big Dairy Farm Field Trip this Friday. The kids are leaving an hour before school and won't get home until an hour after the normal school day ends. They have special chartered busses taking them and they are all SO EXCITED. So, anywho, Wm's teacher replied and said they had enough coolers/ice, but she added this:

I have to tell you how much I have enjoyed having William in my class this year.  I'll definitly miss him as he moves on to 4th.

When Wm came home, I go, "Your father got an email from your teacher." And he said, "She told me. She already told me it was good." Foiled again.  Wm has had such a stellar year!! I hope his 4th grade teacher(s) are half as good as the one(s) he has had this for 3rd grade! I thought that was the nicest thing to say! She is an awesome teacher. And Wm is an awesome kiddo!

Continuing with my recent habit of including things from the internet that made me laugh:

Look at his little hands!

Chick

Wm: When I was playing, Ariel came over and just sat right in front of me and did not move - and just stared at me.
Steve: Why did she do that?
Wm: She is just a social chick.
Steve: Did you just call her a "chick?"
Wm: Uhhhh...yeah. She is a chicken.
Steve: Huh?
Wm: Ariel is one of the baby chicks we have at school.
Steve: Ariel is a chicken?
Wm: OREO. She let me pet her. But Snickers is the softest chick.
Steve: This story makes so much more sense now.

After school Wm was all, "come watch me play video games in my room!" Because I am seriously THE BEST MOM EVER, I went up and "watched."  Then I told him I would just stretch out on his bed to watch after a couple minutes.  Soon after, Schroeder showed up and curled around me. Then Wm spun his little fan around so it was gently blowing on me. So I was laying on Wm's bed with a purring cat, a soft wind blowing....and, as would be expected, I totally fell asleep. When I woke up, I was like, "It's after 5! I have to start dinner!" Wm goes, "I was going to wake up you and tell you it was 5, but you and Schroeder looked so cute sleeping." HA!

Oxley Hall

It rained all weekend. But that did not deter us! We spent all Saturday out front fixing up the yard. We planted flowers, mulched, and built a little stone wall around the flower beds. It looks amazing! It rained on us for some of the time, but we kept at it and got it all done! Next weekend we tackle the horror that is the back yard.

Today it POURED in the morning. We planned to go to Oxley Hall and do Wm's tour for the final part of his project, but it seemed like the weather was going to thwart us. It stopped raining around lunchtime, so we decided to go after. As we were driving over, it started raining again. We took a little detour to Target and when we came out - there was a 30 minute window of sun and blue skies! Perfect for the tour!!

Wm at Oxley Hall

Wm at a pretty tree at Oxley Hall

And here is Wm's guided tour of Oxley Hall (we got it embedded in his presentation - along with pictures of Oxley Hall from the early 1900's next to the pictures we took of Wm today...it looks GREAT!):

And, lastly, here is a perfect illustration of A Day in the Life of Schroeder

Scadoodle

Wm is working hard on his Oxley Hall project. He has his Prezi almost 100% complete. The assignment called for the inclusion of a timeline. Wm called down and asked if I would come help him with his timeline. Then this happened…
Me: OK - first you need to insert a new slide. I'm not sure how to do that…let's see…
Wm: I already did. See?
Me: Oh. Cool. OK - next we need the line for the timeline. I'm not sure...maybe you will actually just need to do this on paper? I'm not sure it can work in Prezi. How about-
Wm: Here. Done.
Me: Nice.
Wm: It's pink. I don't want the line to be pink!
Me: I don't think you can change it. So, you'll have to just deal with it.
Wm: Oh, look here. Now it's blue. Good.
Me: Oh, well, good job. Next you need to make little dashes and put the dates on the bottom and what happened on the top. Uhhh…
Wm: Yeah. I got it. You know what? Why don't you just scadoodle?
Me: Scadoodle?
Wm: Yeah, I'm good. Bye.
[15 minutes later]
Me: Soooo…how's it going?
Wm: I'm done.
Me: Can I see? Oh…wow, buddy. That is awesome. How did you…? Wow. OK. Well, good. That's really good.
Wm: Thank you. I worked hard on it.
Me: I can tell.
Wm: You can always tell when someone has put the hard work in.
Me: Indeed.
(Note: I mostly blame Wm's evil computer because he insists on using a PC. The thing is unusable! I would have knocked that action out on a Mac!)

Poetry Breakfast

This morning was the Poetry Breakfast at Wm's school. The parents all come to the school and the kids do a poetry reading while breakfast is served. Wm was super pumped because TimBits were an option. All the kids have a little bound poetry book and got to take the the centerpiece flowers home to plant - and got a bookmark with their names on it. Wm was so cutely excited!

Us posing with the poetry book

Steve and Wm reading poems

The dedication page of Wm's poetry book was my favorite part:

It reads: These poems are dedicated to my parents, because they have always been with me, and never just watched or waited while I was struggling or having trouble with something. **TEAR**

Unsurprisingly, Mr. Shypants would not get up to do a reading. So here is a rando doing one so you can imagine Wm doing it awesomely in your mind.

This poem made me laugh so hard. It starts out on a nice, if a bit excessive, note, but has a twist ending. Wm is the M. Night Shyamalan of Poetry Breakfast.

Things turn dark there at the end.

But this was my favorite poem. I loved the line about how lightening slithers like a snake.

Countdown

Wm has the countdown to the end of school. He only has 10 more school days after today! And one of those is the all day field trip to his teacher's farm (where he gets to milk a cow!), one is their "field day" that is like one giant recess, and the last day of school is a half day the ends in a picnic. So he has very few "real" school days left! I am as excited as he is. Summer is AWESOME. 

And, because I love it more every day, here is a different angle on Steve's cool bathroom painting:

This is what Steve made me for Mother's Day dinner. He made me little taco salads - he made the shells, the guac, and filled them with chicken, black beans, sour cream, cheese, and salsa. SO GOOD!

This is mostly to prove I am not the only one who takes selfless with the cat!!

Getting Wm to eat breakfast is a daily battle. Today I took a new approach…

Me: Wm, please eat.

Wm: Hm.

Me: BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Wm: AH! Why are you doing that?!?!

Me: I am going to loudly beep every time I see you not eating.

Wm: Don't do that.

[1 minute later]

Me: BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Wm: Ahhhh! [Takes big bite] STOP.

[a few minutes later]

Me: BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Wm: I will literally die if you keep doing that.

Me: BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Wm: [takes giant bite]

[Pattern continues]

Steve: Wm ate a great breakfast!

Me: Due to my Campaign of Annoyance.

Wm: I'm used to it now. It doesn't bother me.

Me: BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Wm: Ahhhhh! FINE! [Takes another bite]

Mother's Day!

About an hour after Wm left for his sleep over, I got a text. Apparently their dog bit him. Poor Wm. This has really cemented his hatred of all creatures of the canine persuasion. Wm said the house didn't feel hot, so that was fine - and they had a whole menagerie of fun animals, including dogs, a cat with her kittens, and even a bunch of chickens! Wm LOVED the kittens and the mama cat. He especially loved one kitten and said it was "softer than a rabbit." But, he really hated that one dog. Apparently it was just a little yappy dog, but it got him pretty good:

Major Leg Wound

Xtreme Closeup of Major Leg Wound

Wm didn't get home until lunchtime. Which was good, because Steve was exhausted. Apparently he was up until 2am working on a Mother's Day present! (I had no idea because I was out like a light before 11pm.) I woke up to find my "vision" of the bathroom a reality!! Steve painted awesome stripes around the room and got rid of my hated towel racks for towel hooks instead. He also stenciled our first initial over where our towel goes. I think it makes the bathroom so much lighter and brighter!!

He also gave me a super cute card - and played the song "peanut butter jelly time" on his phone as I opened it. Haha!

Wm washed my car for me and Steve is in the kitchen cooking dinner. Best day ever!!  I am really going to have to put some serious effort into Father's Day!

Wm: I really loved that one kitten.

Me: Are they keeping all the kittens?

Steve: NO! DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!

Me: What?

Steve: You are not getting one of their kittens.

Me: I was just asking. Man alive.

Steve: I heard the tone, Cory. NO KITTENS.

:(

Stuffs

First, this just made me laugh...

It's funny cause it's true

Next, here are the fruits of me and Wm's labors...

Wm helped paint!

Wm's Big Kid reading nook with our old shelves

Wm is VERY EXCITED because he is off to his first ever sleep over. He's getting so big!! Steve and I already had a discussion about how we wish he had a cell phone so we could text him - and he's been gone about an hour. As the car was pulling out, the dad told us they don't have their AC on. It's like 90 degrees outside. So I immediately was like, "WHuT...WAIT!" But they were gone. So I ran inside and told Steve that I wanted to text Wm and tell him that he should not sleep IN the sleeping bag in that sauna but had no way to reach him. Steve was like, "I heard! I KNOW! I'll try to send a message to his iPad." And, also, WHO DOESN'T TURN THEIR AIR ON WHEN IT'S 90 DEGREES OUTSIDE? I think they are trying to cook my kid. But, Wm was insanely pumped and didn't seem to care.

The face of excitement (with pillow and sleeping bag ready to go!)

Wm: What is that amazing smell?

Me: I'm making soup!

Wm: I don't like soup.

Me: I know. I saved some of the chicken out and you're having that with some veggies and piece of sourdough bread.

Wm: That sounds good. But that soup really smells delicious.

Me: I would love it if you actually wanted soup!

Wm: I will taste it.

Me: Awesome!!!

Wm: [tastes one particle of soup] EW! 

Me: So you don't like it?

Wm: Not. At. All.

Me: Why?

Wm: It's spicy and burned my nose. And, also, I don't like a lot of flavors.

Me: You don't like FLAVORS?

Wm: I don't like a lot of flavors mixed together. That had a lot of flavors.

Me: Sigh. Your chicken is on the table.

Wm: It does smell really good, though...

FYI - the soup was AMAZING. Wm sucks.

Heil Haircut

Wm helped me paint a gross old dresser that I got from Craig's List for $25 yesterday. Of course, it was terrible. He tried his best and I figured I spent $25 on the thing - what's it to me if he ruins it? It turned OK, but you can definitely tell that Wm "helped." The best part is he must have said 5 times while we painted, "This is fun. I like doing stuff like this with you. Painting is fun!" How can you argue with that? I will get over the gummy brushstrokes and uneven coat. If I get even a year or two out of it before all the paint chips off and we have to donate it…100% worth it. Wm and I had a grand time slopping the paint on it!

I gave Wm a new awesome haircut yesterday. I modeled it after this super hot French soccer player that Steve watches (for soccer, not hotness). But when Wm got out of the shower and it was wet and flat, it was like I had given him the Hitler Youth Cut.

Pretty Aryan lookin'

Watch out..he will tell the Gestapo on you.

Speaking of sporty things, I LOVE Andy Richter and this is the best tweet ever:

Killing Time

Just for funsies, here is a picture of Wm wearing a tiny hat in Target:

I say, Peabody, that is a smashing notion!

Also, this made the whole family laugh because it's Schroeder's inner monologue all the time:

This is pretty much a wasteland of boring days. All the students are gone and work is a game of "how do I kill 8 hours?" Next week the craziness begins again and the game switches to "how do I get this done in 8 hours?" Steve is, as always, a busy little bee at work. He is plotting a new office rehab and move of the entire Soccer First clan. He's pretty excited because he is stuffing all his minions into tiny cubes and he gets the deluxe office space. He keeps having weird cubicle people come out and give him estimates on his plans - who knew there were cubicle people?

Wm is suuuuuper excited for summer. He has the countdown on how many school days he has left. He told me the AC was broken at school and they had the heat still on so it was crazy hot. I saw on the PTA Facebook page that one kid went home with heat stroke. Wm said all the kids were sick and feeling awful from the heat. So I freaked out and was all, "you don't have to go to school if they are heating you when it's 87 degrees outside!" Then I get a robo-call from the school. The heat is not on. The AC is just not working while they wait on a part. So all the little delicate flowers are just having the school experience that EVERYONE over the age of 30 had. Yeah…it's hot. Get a drink and make a little fan out of notebook paper like the rest of us did.  Wm was munching on gum when he got home from school yesterday. I asked him where he got it and he goes, "the teacher said anyone who stopped complaining about how hot it was got gum!" Clearly she had had enough! Ha!

Wm is currently working on a report on Oxley Hall at OSU for his last big school project (they are doing "The Wonders of Ohio"). He has to research all about its history and create a PowerPoint presentation all about it. He was having trouble finding much info about it, so I suggested he email the OSU Library and ask a librarian for ideas where to look. His little email to the Library was adorable. Apparently the librarian who got it also thought so, because they sent him back a 30 page pdf filled with articles and information on Oxley Hall. Research: COMPLETE. Next on the agenda: Wm is going to go to Oxley Hall and give a tour while I videotape him and then he is going to put that into his presentation. He is using Prezi, which is pretty snazzy. I told him to watch the tutorial on how to use it and then create a presentation on anything he wanted to show me that he knew how to use it. 30 minutes later I go up and am treated to "Why Playing Minecraft is Better than Homework or Doing Chores." It was actually a very well done presentation! And Wm LOVES the action of Prezi over PowerPoint. Prezi is all about motion…just like Wm.

Birthday Party

Wm had his birthday party today and Grandma & Grandpa and Suzanne came over to celebrate too. And everything went off without a hitch! I didn't know 5 little boys could make so much noise, though! They were unable to defeat the piñata with all that energy, even. Steve had to rip it apart. But Wm said he had a GREAT time and he was a very happy little guy!! It was our first at-home party and I was a bit nervous. But it was pretty painless! Much easier than Chuck E. Cheese. But our house is destroyed. I cleaned it, the boys came over and destroyed it. I cleaned it again. Then more presents arrived with Mimi and Guy and Wm destroyed it again. I don't have the energy to clean it again tonight! Steve is attempting to half-heartedly pick up wrapping paper a bit, but I think he's about due to crash too!

Delicious birthday cupcakes!

Making a wish!

Chattin' with Grandpa and present mayhem

MORE presents!

Even more presents - all the way from Denver!

Me: [walking in holding his cupcakes from the bakery] Hey, what would you do if I fell and dropped all your cupcakes?
Wm: Well, first I'd make sure you are OK. Because you are more important than cupcakes.
Me: Awwww! So sweet!
Wm: But once I knew you were OK, I'd be pissed about the cupcakes.

And now I think my jammies are calling me...