Mystery Reader!

And here is Mimi being the Mystery Reader in Wm's class!  SO CUTE!!!!

Super Special Person

It's been a hard week!  An amazing man, coworker, and friend passed away early this week after battling pancreatic cancer so unbelievably bravely.  I have been heading to "celebration of life" events and will be going to the memorial service this evening.  Fuck cancer.

Wm's teacher emailed Monday AND Tuesday to say Wm has been evil.  He spent one day painstakingly picking all the caulk from around the window next to his desk and leaving it in piles on the floor (and had to stay in from recess to clean up the piles).  Then he drew all over his chair and got into all sorts of devilry with his friend.  I know he's bored at school, but he can't be destructive!  So we had a Big Talk with Wm about it and he cried big, sad tears when I gave him the "I am disappointed in your behavior" speech.  Works every time. After that, the next two days were great!  The teacher emailed on Wednesday to say Wm had a GREAT DAY and he came home yesterday with this:

The kid who displays the best behavior that day gets to be the Super Special Person of the Day. Wm was SO PROUD!! He loves to trick people (no idea where he gets it) and he came home and told me he had a "bad note from the teacher in his backpack." But this is what I pulled out instead and he was practically bursting with pride!  Unbeknownst to Wm, Mimi is going in to his classroom today to be this week's Mystery Reader.  He will flip out!  I'm so excited for when he gets home from school and tells me all about it!  

Lastly, in Steve news, he is going to some big conference in June and will leave it a Certified Arena Operator (so he can add the letters CAO after his name - muy importante!) Wm and I will be left to our own devices for 4 days while Steve is away.  After we destroy everything, Steve may never leave again.  Wm and I can't be trusted on our own….

Forgot...

I forgot to mention all the craziness in my last post!  Fun times.

So - the gutter is still hanging off the house while we get a bunch of estimates.  Then, I noticed the grout/silicone around the tub is letting water in.  Steve has redone it a million times and I have lost faith in his ability, so we have professionals coming in to give us estimates on that this week as well.  THEN, due to the fact Wm poos like a grown man and uses half a roll every time, our toilet was all plugged up.  Steve went and bought some expensive toilet auger (or something).  Only, it didn't work.  And then it broke.  And spewed Wm poo water all over the bathroom.  Today, on a Sunday, we had to pay for an emergency plumber come out to fix it.  It's quasi-fixed, but he also told us that our house (and pipes!) are REAL old and it's only a matter of time before it completely fails and we have to rip out the ceiling to the tune of $2-4k to have it redone.  On top of Wm's creepy whooping cough business.  This weekend has been just a bit stressful.

SOOOO, after all this craziness, Steve goes, "I am going to go completely bleach and sanitize the bathroom from top to bottom."  I was downstairs cleaning up after dinner and I hear Steve scream down, "DOES ANYONE HAVE TO PEE? TELL ME NOW!" before he started in on cleaning the potty.  I waited about 5 minutes, pretended I hadn't heard him, and then yelled up, "Hey…I have to pee. That's cool, right?" There is this long, pregnant pause and then, very softly, Steve goes, "Please give me 5 minutes." I go, "Nah - I'm just messing with you, man - I don't have to pee." Another pause and I hear him mutter, "I WILL kill you." Hahahaha!

Weekendness

Here is Wm looking super cute before his big presentation!

And here is Schroeder napping on my clean laundry...

We went to Marion yesterday to see all the Papas and Donna for a joint birthday celebration.  Steve is chowing down on leftovers as I type!  We were supposed to go sledding at Mad River Mountain with Mimi today, but Wm has consumption.  He keeps hacking up a lung.  He refuses to admit he is sick and keeps insisting he is "healthy," but I didn't think outdoor winter activities were in the cards.  We're going for perfect attendance this year!  So far, Wm hasn't missed a day of school!  I have been trying to get him to rest, but, of course, that's nearly impossible.  Great Papa gave him a generous cash donation yesterday and he is now badgering me to take him to Target so he can spend it immediately.  Money always burns a hole in Wm's pocket!

Yesterday, however, was GORGEOUS!  Wm and some cronies went down to the playground and ran around and got all muddy.  It was glorious.  A taste of spring!  

Gutter of Doom

I came home from work today to discover that the weight of the rapid melting of all the ice and snow caused our gutter to fall off, twist around itself, and lay against the house.  Not cool, gutter…not cool.  This winter bites.

Steve was over tinkering with his phone, as per usual.  I thought he looked especially cute, so I snapped a picture.  

Cute.

However, Steve heard the click and then busted me.  The look on his face is hilarious. It's Classic Steve: annoyed with whatever I am doing to interrupt his phone time and suspicious of my behavior.

BUSTED.

Wm finally has his Big Presentation tomorrow on Benjamin Banneker.  His Power Point is all ready to go (thanks to some help from Mimi!) He was supposed to give it a while ago, but then school was cancelled for days and days.  Wm is very excited and will be sporting a fancy tie.  I told him that I struggle with speaking slowly and clearly when I'm presenting and Daddy struggles with remaining upright.  But giving presentations and speaking in front of people is one of my favorite things and it seems like Wm may be following in my footsteps!  He is pumped!  In third grade he can participate in the school play and he says he wants to do that.  Yay!!!  

Cake of my dreams

We had a day of birthday celebrations yesterday!  Mimi and Guy took us to The Crest for lunch and then back to our place for cake and presents.  Suzanne made me awesome mittens and came over so we could justify eating more cake.  And, let me be clear…there could never be enough cake.  Because Steve made The Cake of My Dreams.  Both cake and frosting were 100% vegan - and AMAZING.  We decided to test run some recipes that Jess sent for my birthday to see if they would pass muster for Wm's birthday.  And…OH MY GOD…did they ever!!!  Wm doesn't usually have too much of a sweet tooth, but, face covered in chocolate he yelled, "I WANT ANOTHER PIECE!" He often leaves cake or cupcakes half finished and walks away from them saying he's done.  So, obviously, we will be repeating this culinary masterpiece for Wm's birthday as well.  I may want to marry the frosting.  Only two ingredients: coconut cream and chocolate chips.  Soooooo good!  

No hippos were harmed in the writing of this post.

Valentine's Day

Wm gave me the sweetest Valentine's Day card ever!!  I had to take a picture of it...

It says:

In fact, the best, most kind, sweet-hearted one of those people. [heart] And you're in this world! You created me. :) Sincerely, William

(The front of the cards talks about all the people in the world, so that's what Wm is referencing!) 

So, basically, Wm is the sweetest kid who has ever lived on the planet earth. Mimi sent him a Valentine's Day card with some cashola in it and he goes, "I will use this to buy you a birthday present!" I had to tell him that that money was for him to spend on something fun for himself.  How adorable is it that his first thought was to use his windfall for someone else?  Best kid ever. 

I forgot how fun Valentine's Day is for kids!  Wm made Valentines for all the kids in his class, decorated a receptacle for the Valentines he receives, they are having a classroom party today, he got mail yesterday (a card from Mimi, a top secret card and sucker from the Keefer Fam), and this morning he got a card and treat (for after dinner!) from Mom and Dad!  He is beside himself with glee!  

Steve and I took today off to celebrate Valentine's Day while Wm is in school.  EXCITED!  We have a day of fun planned!  

#TBT

I found this old video of Wm and couldn't stand the cuteness.  How tiny was he?!? Adorbs.

Best Conference Ever

Crazy Wm and Mommy photobomb

Steve and I went to the best teacher conference ever tonight!  Wm's teacher is working so hard to make school a positive place for Wm!!  She said his reading level is so far advanced that the typical reading groups don't work for him, so she put him with a couple other advanced kids and has them read a different book and then talk about themes, ideas, etc (she said, basically, it's like a critical thinking book club) instead of reading for the sake of reading.  And in Math she has created this Math Challenge thing for Wm and a couple other kids where they can just work ahead at their own pace instead of following what the class is doing.  She said Wm has a "very sophisticated sense of humor" and is one of her favorite kids to talk to because of the crazy things that come out of his mouth.  She did say that at the beginning of the year she was like, "Who is this kid? What is he doing?" But now she's figured him out - and that he's just hilarious!  But his humor (and everything!) are so atypical of his age group, it took her some time to catch on.  She said that the word "gifted" is thrown around a lot and that some kids just test well, etc etc etc, but that Wm is "truly gifted." Of course, we knew he was the smartiest smartie who ever lived, but it is always nice when the teacher knows too!!!

We were talking about adjectives and I wanted to make sure Wm got it...

Me: Can you think of an adjective to describe me?

Wm: Nice and funny

Me: Can you think of an adjective to describe Daddy?

Wm: Brownish
Steve: Wait. Why does Mommy get "nice and funny" and I get "brownish?"
Wm: Strong?
Steve: I'll take it.

Bad Hair Day

A bit after arriving at work today, I got a great text from Steve...

Speaking of Steve - he is hilariously awesome with Schroeder.  Steve claims he doesn't like the cat and the cat is "annoying," but I keep hearing him talk to the cat when he thinks no one can hear him.  And the cat always wins.  Example…

Cat: MEOW.

Steve: Stop it, Schroeder.  I am not getting your mice from under the oven again. 

Cat: MRRRROW.

Steve: Stop putting them under there!  Then this won't happen!

Cat: MRRROOOOW!

Steve: Schroeder, seriously.  Quit. It's not happening.

Cat: PUUUURRRR….RRRROW!

Steve: Fine. Here…now don't push it back under the-NOOOOO!!!  Schroeder!  WHY?!?!

Cat: MEOW.

Steve: I'm not getting it again.

Cat: MEOOOOOW!

Steve: Ugh. Last time.

Schroeder helps load the dishwasher. An example of the cat "annoying" Steve.

Steve also gives the cat horsie rides around the house because Steve is Schroeder's human slave:

WILLIAM IS FINALLY BACK IN SCHOOL TODAY!!!!!!!!!!  Thank. God.

Wm also just discovered dwarves are real.  He thought they were make-believe…like wizards.  His mind was blown.  He goes, "are they tiny warriors like in The Hobbit?"

Steve's Phone

Now that Steve has his fancy phone, he actually takes pictures with it.  I keep meaning to pull the pics off it.  Finally I got them!  Here are Steve's pictures from the last couple weeks...

Wm on a mountain of snow

Schroeder cutely sleeping

Schroeder annoyed by Steve

Steve looking ready for the next polar vortex

Wm sledding down our back hill

Wm buried in the snow

Wm and I have been watching a HILARIOUS travel show called An Idiot Abroad (if you have Netflix, I highly recommend it!) In the last one, the guy went to Japan and ate a delicacy - a fish that had been fermenting for 3 years.  Then he barfed all over the host's gorgeous Japanese garden.  Wm, of course, thought this was the funniest thing he had ever seen.  Then he goes, "but they shouldn't torment that fish."  I was like, "the fish is long dead, man." He paused and goes, "well, they tormented its dead body for 3 years."  Wm is apparently very concerned about desecrating fish corpses.

Moving.

I am moving to Australia.  We got ANOTHER snow storm last night.  Columbus is on a Level 2 Snow Emergency, so I am working from home and Steve just took a vacation day.  Even the camp Wm goes to when school is canceled is closed today.  Steve and I just spent an hour shoveling the sidewalk and driveway.  We got multiple inches of snow covered in a thick layer of ice.  So you have to sort of chip and dig your way out.  I am going to be sore tomorrow.  Wm, of course, is having the time of his life.

Wm invented a "wintersault" instead of a summersault.  He had a great time doing them into the snow.  He and Steve had a wintersault-off...

OSU

Wm came home from school with a mustache for participating in this year's Read-a-Thon.  Wm read enough and raised enough money to earn this amazing prize...

Also in his backpack was a sign up sheet for Career Day.  I asked Wm if he wanted his dad to come in and talk (since Sports Management seems like it would be a WAY more interesting job to a 2nd grader).  Wm said he didn't want his dad to come in because "soccer is boring," he wanted me to come in because Ohio State is awesome.  He said, "Your job is great! You get to talk to people all day every day and make new friends all the time!" I told him I doubted academic advising was very interesting to most kids his age and they would probably like the whole soccer thing way better. He seemed unconvinced. Then…this happened:

Wm: Did you go to Ohio State or just work at Ohio State?

Me: Both. I went there as a student and then worked there.

Wm: I want to do that too!!!

Me: Really? That's cool!

Wm: Yeah. But by the time I work there you will probably be dead.

Me: WOW.

Wm: Or maybe just REALLY old. But probably dead.

Apparently we are getting another snow storm tonight.  WINTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!