Playa

Williams Observations on Life:
"I hate it when you're crying and the snot and tears mix, and your mouth is open - cause you're crying, ya know - and then the snot-slash-tears drip into your mouth.  That's gross."

I love to watch Wm play because he usually whispers the most hilarious dialogues to himself.  I tried to get it on film - it's hard to hear, so you'll have to turn your volume up high!

Swim Party

Captain Phobia is afraid of water and has refused to have any part of swimming - or even taking a shower. However, we discovered his weirdness is mostly about getting water in his eyes.  After purchasing him some goggles, that he wore around all week, he was all excited to go to his friend's Star Wars themed swim party today!  

Chillaxin' in his goggles

And Wm had a BLAST at the swim party!!!  He did NOT want to leave and we had to drag him out.  Luckily I learned from The Moms that there are a couple really nice pools around that we can join this summer.  Wm was THRILLED about that plan is so excited!!!  I told him he has to learn how to swim before we can go and he was all happy about that too!  Thank god.  

Wm coloring in his light saber for pin-the-light-saber-on-Darth Vader

Wm is the tiny dot up at the front pinning on his light saber!

One of the moms at the party said Wm is "the perfect mix" of Steve and I.  She said neither one of us could deny we were related.  I thought that was super nice.  I do wish Wm had more of Steve's personality though!  He's all Evil Cory and not enough Chill Steve.  

One thing Wm DEFINITELY got from Steve is his math skills!!! I am not even kidding (I wish I was...), but Wm has already surpassed some of my math skills. We were sitting at lunch and Wm asked for math challenges.  So Steve was throwing out problems like, "what is 47 plus 52" or "what is 32 plus 61?" And Wm was answering them WELL before I had figured them out in my head!  I was like, "wait...carry the one...HOLD ON!" and Wm would be like, "93!" in a millisecond.  Steve thinks it is HILARIOUS.  I was really impressed Wm has figured out a fast way to do it on his own.  When  I asked how he can do it so fast and he goes, "well, 32 plus 61 - 30 plus 60 is 90, then 2 plus 1 is 3...so together that is 93.  I'm surprised you didn't know how to do that, Mommy." [smirk]

Totally Appropriate

I found a totally appropriate version of I'm Sexy and I Know It!!

I'm Sexy and I Know It

Steve is at it again!  As I was going up to bed in my giant fleece robe last night, I joked to Steve about how hot I looked.  He started singing LMFAO's "I'm Sexy and I Know It." I nearly peed my pants.  I really wanted to post the YouTube video of the song, but after re-watching it, I thought maybe it wasn't 100% appropriate for Wm's blog.  But, trust me...Steve's rendition was hilarious.  He is on FIRE! And, I highly recommend you go and listen to the song right now and then picture Steve singing it.

Wm got a new lunch bag.  He picked it out.  It's pink with hot pink and yellow polka dots.  He took it to school this week and I asked him what the verdict was "on street."  Wm goes, "the kids at my table said it was a girl's lunchbox."  I go, "Wm, you tell them that you do not subscribe to their gender norming!"  He looks at me blankly and goes, "What? You're weird.  They are just jealous because it's so awesome and they want it."

Necklace

Wm: Do you have $4?
Me: You can't have $4.
Wm: Why not?
Me: You spent all your allowance money on Legos
Wm: I was going to buy a beautiful necklace from Target!
Me: Nope.
Wm: Well, I was going to buy it for you!
Me: Nice try.
Wm: [whispered to himself] DAMNIT.

Love Them!

Mimi got me awesome new sandals for my birthday. I was wearing them around the house yesterday and asked Wm if he liked them.  His response was so funny, I made him repeat it so I could tape it:

Sunday Randomness

We were at Target getting heavy duty nasal decongestants when Wm said he wanted to look for things to put on his birthday wish list.  Here are his top two contenders:

1.

2.

Steve was all, "Don't you want guns? Or Legos? Or Army guys? Or ANYTHING else?"  Wm goes, "SPARKLY JEWELS!!!!!" I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I could still end up with an awesome gay son.  I'm so getting that kid a Cher CD for his birthday.  I am thinking of proactively joining PFLAG.   

Steve stole Wm's fancy stick on tie and wore it to Target.  

The chocolate mint brownies Steve made me for my birthday.  NOT conducive to the swim suit shopping I need to do to prepare for the birthday party Wm is going to next weekend at the Aquatics Center.  But...SOOOO GOOOOOD.  

Steve the Wonderhusband

I should start a new blog for Steve - he's been super entertaining recently.  He made me laugh so hard I think I cracked a rib tonight. After Steve kind of snapped at Wm before bed (Wm WAS being evil), I asked him later why he has more patience for my evilness than Wm's - since we, basically, share the same hobby: Steve annoyance.  And, typically, Steve responds to my torturing of him with good humor and, if actually annoyed, breathy sighs.  However, he gets real crabby when Wm tortures him.  So when I asked what the difference was, Steve's response was: "you scare me."  HAHAHA!  Mission: Accomplished. Best birthday present ever.  Thank you, Steve.

Evil Germ Monkey

Wm is an evil germ monkey.  He has had the sniffles for the last couple days.  Well, today, both Steve and I are feeling awful.  I can't breathe out of my nose and I'm very crabby about it since my birthday is Friday.  I haven't been sick since Thanksgiving.  Wm seems to hang on to his germs, only sharing them in time for holidays.  Captain Outbreak was off school today for a teacher in-service day, so he and Steve had a day of fun.  Wm has been having the time of his life.  He said Valentine's Day was "the greatest day of my life," and then he built Legos with Daddy all day today (and got to go to Graffiti Burger for lunch!)  Then, he's off for President's Day on Monday!  That kid is never in school.

On a different note, Steve is getting old.  We just had this conversation...

Steve: Hmmm...wow...interesting.
Me: What?
Steve: Just this show I'm watching.
Me: [Checking it out...] Are you watching a nature show on PBS?  Really?
Steve: Yes, it's fascinating.  Look at that pheasant!
Me: Pheasant? Are you serious right now? You are fascinated by a pheasant?
[Steve pausing his show]
Steve: What?
Me: Wait.  Did you just PAUSE your weird nature show on PBS so you wouldn't miss any while you talk to me?
Steve: Yes.
Me: You are so old....and sort of creeping me out with all this pheasant talk.
Steve: Do not put this on Wm's blog.  You have an evil glint in your eye.
Me: Me? Never. Can you hand me the laptop?
Steve: [giant sigh]

I guess I probably should be nice and not post this since Steve totally made a feast for dinner tonight AND did all the dishes AND packed me a doggie bag for lunch tomorrow.  Nahhhh...

Valentine's Day

Here is the Valentine's Day card I got from Wm:

Note he gave me a rose

The inside: "No one touches my heart like you.  Love, William"

Now note the difference in the card I got from Steve:

Starts out on the right foot...

Then takes a turn.

At least Steve got me a box of Godiva chocolates.  He could do pretty much anything after that - all is forgiven with Godiva.  #1 husband!

Grocery Shopping

And now, a dramatic reenactment of grocery shopping with Wm, who is being "good"....

Wm: What's this?
Wm: Ohhhh, what's that?
[Wm to himself: I am going to touch this.  NO THIS!]
Wm: Can I have this?
Wm: Is that chocolate?
Wm: What's that?
[Wm running away]
Me: WILLIAM!
Wm: What? Hey - what's this?
Wm: Is this free?
Wm: Why is it not free?
Wm: How many dollars do you have?  Enough for this? Or this? Or this?
Wm: Wait.  What's that?
[Wm to himself: I'm going to draw on this with the pen I snuck in here. Unknown to Wm: It is a $50 bottle of wine]
Wm: Why are you looking at me like that?
Wm: Oooooh, can I have THIS?
Wm: Why are you using a mean voice?
Wm: WHAT IS THAT?????? I am going to put it in the cart!
Wm: Why do we have to wait in the car?

To Do

Wm has decided he loves "jewels" and "things that sparkle."  One of his favorite activities is to go through my jewelry box and try on all the things in there.  I have an awful, gaudy ring that I got in college for some reason.  Wm LOVES it. So I gifted it to him and he wears it all the time (in between losing it).  You can't see it too well in the picture, but it is truly hideous.  But Wm thinks it's beautiful.  

Wm is definitely my son.  He asked for paper and a pen yesterday to "write some stuff down."  He came over about 2 minutes later and showed me this:

In case you can't read it, it says, "To Do List. Go to the Lego Store."  He's already making to-do lists at 5.  That is definitely my genes! I told him he should write, "fold my laundry" on there and he did not like that idea at all.

It's a Wow

Wm built a fort out of blankets, shoes, pillows, boxes, and anything else he could find.  Then he sat in there with a flashlight and read ghost stories.  After a while, he goes, "OK...this is too spooky for me."

We went out to lunch today and the restaurant gave free sundaes to the kids.  Wm was a BIG fan of that.  Watching him eat it was hilarious.  Here is the drama unfolding....

When they brought it out, Wm goes, "This is really 'a wow!'"

He dove right in.

But then after a while, he goes, "OK...this may be getting a little intense now..."  Daddy didn't mind fishing it off.

Best. Picture. Ever.

While giving Wm and Steve haircuts in the basement, I came across this picture of Steve from his sophomore of high school.  There is nothing about this picture that is not awesome...the background, the glasses, the shirt, the smile.  It is all EPIC.  Steve made me pinky promise I would not post this on facebook.  But if SOMEONE ELSE were to, say, save it from here, post it to facebook, and tag Steve in it - well, I have no control over that.  And, thus, would not be in violation of said pinky promise.

Bloody Buddy

A couple days ago I made steaks for dinner.  Wm LOVES it when I get good steaks - he calls it "fancy meat."  Wm is quite the carnivore.  I was cutting off a piece for him and he goes, "I want it really pink." So I cut off, what I thought to be, a pretty rare piece for him.  And he goes, "NO.  Like RED."  I asked, "really, dude - are you suuuuure?" Wm goes, "Yeah, I want it BLEEDING."  (Epilogue: I gave him a piece that was like ten times rarer than I would ever eat and that kid took it DOWN.  And demanded more.)

When Wm came home from school today, he wanted "challenges."  So after challenges that included writing his numbers to 200 by fives, mixing colors I gave him to make purple, green, and pink, then writing a letter to daddy about his day, I moved on to exercise challenges (trying to wear the little sucker out).  Wm ran 20 laps around the house, did 50 jumping jacks, 10 pushups, 10 situps, and as he went to break out the weights, I was like, "OK...LEGO CHALLENGE!"  I figured that would keep him busy.  I told him his challenge was to create a house like the one I grew up in out of Legos.  I told him it was a brick house with a black roof.  A half hour later, Wm emerged from his room with this.  He can't be stopped.

Quilt

The Quilt of Awesomeness revealed.  And it looks even cooler and more colorful in person.  

Oh yeahhhhh!

Wm stayed over at Mimi and Guy's last night.  Which was...GREAT.  Wm's fabulous and all - but a break from Wm is also fabulous.  Thank you, Mimi!!!

Also - a thank you to Jess for sending along a great chicken tikka masala recipe.  It's bubbling in the crockpot right now and smells AMAZING.  I cannot wait for dinner!  

Strike! Strike! Strike!

Wm has decided that Lego sets cost too much, so he is fomenting a rebellion.  His first plan was to simply boycott Legos until the Lego company realized it was charging too much and then brought prices down - and then Wm would sweep in and buy all the sets he wanted at bargain basement prices.  However, he goes, "But...how would Lego know I wasn't buying Legos because they were too expensive? Maybe they'd just think I was tired of Legos. I'll have to tell them.  We need to go to the Lego store so I can tell them that's why."  However, he soon realized that other people would continue buying Legos, thus busting his strike.  The scabs.  So Wm's newest plan is to call "everyone on the planet" and ask them if they buy Legos.  If they say yes, he is going to tell them to stop until Legos are less expensive.  Wm is launching a full scale Lego Mutiny!  

Just a cute pic of The Boys being silly

We finally went to the Eddie Bauer store (we have been meaning to go since Christmas).  I found these Born shoes - normally $110 - on sale for $20!!!!!!  Wm wanted to pose in them.

A better shot of the shoes.  

Not only am I excited about the shoes...but there's more!  After 10 years with the same quilt - and numerous patches and sewing jobs to keep it in play, it has finally been retired.  I have spent months scouring for the perfect new quilt.  And I finally located it!!!!!  It. Is. Awesome.  And this is just a teaser...pics wont' be ready until tomorrow after I wash it and put it on the bed officially.  Try getting any sleep tonight as you wonder what the quilt of awesomeness could look like!  Moooohahaha!

Growin' Up

Wm did his own bath last night.  The whole shebang: soaping, hair washing, you name it.  Steve was not allowed in the bathroom at all.  I heard him yelling through the door, "do not forget to wash your butt!"  or "RINSE your hair!" And Wm would answer all exasperated, "I KNOW!  I'M DOING IT!"  He appeared wet and clean when he emerged, so we will trust all the business was accomplished.  My boy is growing up!