Wm on Vaca

Because I forgot to take any more pictures, there will be no Part II to the Xtreme Xmas 2011.  But, rest assured Wm had a GREAT Christmas!

Willie the Wonderkid is currently on hiatus because Wm is vacationing with Grandma and Grandpa in Warren.  He returns this weekend.  I'm sure he will be full of all the evilness he is currently bottling up to save for us.  Steve and I are painting his bedroom furniture to surprise him!!

Oh, one story from last week I forgot!  Wm was again talking about jalapeno being weird and I said it phonetically like this: hall-uh-peen-yo.  Wm goes, "Uh, Mommy, it's pronounced like this: hall-uh-PAYN-yo."  I was like, "You are exactly right, Wm.  Touche....touche."

Merry Christmas!

At 5:19AM we hear a little voice call out, "Santa came!  He left a present in my room!  Can I get up now?"  We told Wm he could have the present in his room, but he had to lay back down until 6AM - we thought he'd go back to sleep.  Nope.  So we've been up since 5:19AM.  Wm is THRILLED with life, though!  So here is Part I of Xtreme Xmas 2011:

The haul before "Santa" went up to bed

Wm opening

GAMES!

There's candy in this here stocking!

Meet Tatanka the bison.  He is Wm's new pillow pet.  Santa left him in Wm's room with a note and a candy cane.  Wm LOVES Tatanka.  We had chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast and Tatanka sat at the table with us. (If you're wondering why "Tatanka," another viewing of Dances with Wolves is in order.)

Wm is currently building his 4th lego set.  He is running on pure adrenaline.  We watched A Christmas Carol this morning.  Something I wish I didn't know: you have time to open Christmas presents, put together a bunch of lego sets, make and eat chocolate chip pancakes, take a horribly unrestful nap on the couch, and watch A Christmas Carol if you get up at 5:19AM. 

Part II of Xtreme Xmas 2011 coming soon... 

Cookie Monster

Wm and I made Christmas cookies this morning.  And I am exhausted.  I had to clean the kitchen 3 times (when Wm "helps," it's like a hurricane hit) and then I had to clean the dining room like a mad women - frosting and sprinkles were smeared from one end to the other.  But cookies are made and things are clean! I need a nap.

Cookie canvasses waiting for The Artist of Frosting

The Artist is IN

And is happy

Wm's "super fancy cookie" on which he used all frosting colors and sprinkle options

The finished product.  Santa will be pleased.

Seriously

Wm: I wrote you a note. [it read: I love you and your work. Sirisli.]
Me: That is so nice! Guess what - "seriously" is one of those words that has lots of vowels.  It's spelled like this [demonstration]
Wm: Spelling is weird.
Me: They do say English is a very hard language to learn because it's so crazy!  And you are doing GREAT with your spelling!
Wm: Yeah, English is hard.  Like, the "j" in jalapeno sounds like an "h."
Me: Well, actually, jalapeno is...never mind.  Never mind.  Yeah, jalapeno is funny.
Wm: Yeah.

It's the Holiday Season

Today was Wm's last day of school before winter break - and he got to BLUE!  They made gingerbread houses and had a holiday party this afternoon.  I was able to be there for the tail end.  Wm always gets very excited when Mom comes to his classroom!  He was super cute and kept running over to show off his stuff.  As I walked in, I heard his teacher telling another mom how "funny William stuffed candy inside his gingerbread house until it busting at the seams."  That's m'boy!  There was some candy spillage, but Wm is enjoying it nonetheless.  He was allowed to eat 3 pieces off when we got home.

Wm has been busily singing holiday songs and making a holiday card for his dad since we got home.  He's definitely in the holiday spirit!  He gets to go to work with Mom tomorrow and Dad Thursday.  Then...AND THEN...he and I are going to make millions of Christmas cookies on Friday!  Wm says he wants to leave 40 cookies for Santa to eat.  

Skater

We took Wm ice skating for the fist time today.  We thought he may be freaked out by how slippery the ice was - but he LOVED it.  We had to literally drag him out of there after hours of skating. Both Steve and I were dying...our old dogs were barkin'.  But Wm refused to leave until he saw the zamboni.  He also watched a kid's hockey game on another rink and was fascinated that kids could play hockey!  But, the highlight of the trip for him was probably when Santa skated out.  Wm shyly skated over to Santa and talked to him.  He was THRILLED.  Santa even told Wm he was very proud of how well he was skating!  Wm said he thought Santa came to the ice rink because it was cold, like the North Pole.  As we were leaving, Wm asked if he could go ice skating every day.  I wanted to get a lot of pictures, but my phone died right after I snapped this one of Wm getting ready to go out onto the ice:

Today, in pictures

First, Wm discovered the padded bra inserts I had removed from new underthings.  He didn't know what they were and decided they would make a great hat.

Then I went and got all my hair chopped off again (and took a phone self portrait, nearly blinding myself).

THEN, Wm actually ate BROCCOLI at dinner!

And so it ends...

The string of "nicenis" is at an end.  Wm had a huge, evil tantrum last night when it was time to go get into the bath.  He was OUT of control.  I think he realized just how far he pushed things because this morning he kept trying to give me gifts and look apologetic (note: the "gifts" were things like crumpled construction paper he "made for me," pictures that had been hanging on the wall of his bedroom, and lego parts - so basically anything on hand that he could say was a "present for you").  It was good while it lasted....

Steve is (almost) 35!

I made Steve's birthday dessert today.  Steve isn't a big cake person so he gets to pick what I make instead. This year he picked Buckeye Pie.  Once it was made, Steve could not resist breaking into it - even though his birthday is tomorrow.  So we had a little early bird Steve Birthday Celebration.

Here's the pie:

Chocolate graham crust, layer of chocolate, layer of reeces's, whipped peanut butter cream, then more crushed up reeces's and chocolate drizzle.  YES.

Here is Steve drunk with pie (and minus 30 candles):

And here is Steve once he realized I was taking pictures:

In other news, in preparation for the pie I did a workout video entitled, "Cardio Crush: Dance Party!"  And, as my body attempted to recreate the fluid dance moves of the ladies on the DVD, it became clear that I lack any sort of control of my movements.  It was really quite disturbing - I hadn't realized just how uncoordinated I am.  Here is, what I believe to be, the best likeness of me attempting Dance Party!

God is a Boy

Wm was talking about God yesterday and he goes, "so He lives in heaven." And I say, "or She."  Wm pauses for a minute and looks thoughtful then says, "no, I think God is a boy's name."

Hat

Wm got off the bus today wearing this hat:

I said, "I like your wizard hat!" And he said, "It's not a wizard hat.  It for some holiday and we made it at school.  Not Christmas...not Chanukah..." So I go, "Kwanzaa?" Wm says, "YES!  That's it!"  So we got home and I asked take a picture of him in his Kwanzaa hat - I got out the camera and said, "smile!"  Wm yells, "MERRY KWANZO!"  

Willie the Wonderkid, No Seriously

Wm has been weirdly, WEIRDLY, nearly amazingly good the past couple days.  He was an angel yesterday morning getting ready, was all green all day at school, came home and was so good it was scary, and then woke up today and was equally good.  He took a bath (usually a tortuous, tear-filled event) with good humor and even got his face wet and didn't freak out.  Steve and I can't figure out what's going on.  But we're not complaining.

Part of it may be that I decided to introduce some weekly inducements.  Now, we have Taco Tuesday and Wm gets tacos every Tuesday, as well as family game night after.  Then, Friday is Movie Night - and each family member gets to take turns picking a movie and we get to eat in front of the TV (which is NEVER allowed) and it's always pizza and popcorn...more Willie Favs.  He is creepily excited about these things - and, having something to look forward to seems to make him chillax a bit.

I was telling Steve I'm afraid Wm is growing up in a really insular way and we should do more to expose him to different things and cultures.  I (mostly kidding because, as anyone knows, it's an expedition for me to spend one night in a luxury cabin in the Hocking Hills - I am not a happy traveler) told Steve we should sell all our worldly belongings and travel the world as modern nomads.  (I follow a blog where a family does this and I live vicariously through them.)  Steve pauses for a minute, grabs the remote control, flips on the TV and says, "I just got a sweet TV - I'm not going anywhere."

No, Seriously

Wm has taken to saying, "I am being serious - I am not even kidding right now."  So, a typical conversation would go...

Wm: I want a cookie.
Me: Nice try.
Wm: I am being serious!  I am not even kidding right now!
Me: I know, dude.  You're stil not getting a cookie.
Wm: hmph.

It's like he thinks if we know he's totally serious, whatever he says goes.  As if he didn't get his every wish only because we thought he was kidding around.

Because Wm has had a string of nicenis (heehee!) I made him chocolate nutella whoopie pies.  He is a BIG fan.  Unfortunately, so is Steve...so they are disappearing rather quickly.  I am currently in planning for what to make Steve for his birthday!

Tasty Murder

Wm's favorite thing to eat is currently tacos (I say "currently" since it seems to change constantly).  I was making tacos for dinner last night when I realized I had no cheese - and Wm's "tacos" consist of meat and cheese.  So I called Steve and asked him to stop for cheese on his way home from work.  He just ran to Kroger on his way home since he drives right passed it.  He runs in as I'm putting together the tacos and starts adding cheese to Wm's taco and Wm screams, "HEY! That's not ORGANIC cheese!  There are chemicals in that!"  (This whole "Wm can read" thing is a real drag - I had a HUGE battle with him trying to get him to go in to pee while we were out because he saw the door said "women" and he is a boy - he wanted to go into the men's room alone...not happening.) So, to placate him, I say, "Oh, no, bud...it's cheese.  There are no chemicals in non-organic cheese.  It's probably just from tortured, hormone-filled cows."  Wm says, "Oh, OK." And eats it up.  Wm cares very little for the plight of the animals he eats.  I saw a guy wearing this on tshirt and wished they made it in kid sizes...it would be perfect for Wm!

Wm is very concerned about chemicals in his food.  He made me show him how to read ingredient lists and spot things that could be "chemicals."  To maintain my sanity, I went with the grossest thing and told him to look out for that (artificial coloring - like red#40 or blue#60).  So, at least, Wm will not eat things with artificial coloring!  Beware if you try to serve Wm something that has a color and a number listed in the ingredients!  He will freak the freak out. I told him about organic food and now he feels safe eating anything that says organic on it and will not read the ingredient list.  Otherwise, he checks all his food labels. He is an intense little creature. 

Wm had a GREAT day yesterday!  He came home ALL GREEN ALL DAY and then was really nice all evening. They are doing a letter writing unit at school, working on an opening, greeting, body, and closing.  So all the kids had to write a letter to someone.  Wm's read:

      Dear Mom, 

      I will be nice now.  As long as I get what I want all the time.

      Love,

      William

EVIL

Wm's "color report" was very entertaining today.  See if you can spot the inconsistencies:

On the bus ride home, Wm erased "yellow" and checked "green."  He also erased the word "tough" and changed it to "good."  Luckily, he's not very sneaky yet.  This does not bode well for his teenage years.  Steve and I made sure to hide our mirth and acted very stern about changing things from the teacher, but then went into the kitchen and laughed our butts off.  

So then later this evening, Wm continued on his Path of Evilness.  He was so awful that he ended up getting sent to his room without anyone to play with him. About 10 minutes later, he sent down the pink note.  Then, when he was not allowed out of his room, the red "book" followed.  The "book" is filled with pictures of Mom and Dad and information about how awesome and nice they are.

The first, pink, note reads:

I will be nice now.  I will not throw food on the floor anymore - never again.

The second, red, book (cover) reads:

William. To: Mom and Dad.  The Book of Nicenis [sic]

It's kind of hard to stay mad at the kid.  But I managed.  Oh yeah...I managed.  

Funny Stuff Wm Said Today

While working on a homework assignment that included cutting out paper dominos and adding the numbers on them together...
Wm: Should I cut this line between the dominos?
Me: No, that's what dominos look like - they have two sides.
Wm: [skeptical] hmph.
3 minutes later...
Wm: Mommy?
Me: Yes?
Wm: I'm concerned that we're supposed to be cutting those lines.

While eating dinner...
Wm: Hey, look at my sandwich!  I ate it into the shape of a gah-postrophe!
Steve: What is a "gah-postrophe"??
Wm: Uh, like the punctuation. [looks to me, scoffing at his father's ignorance of grammar]
Me: I think you mean apostrophe.
Wm: Oh, yeah. Apostrophe.

Feeling Better

Wm is feeling much better!  A big thanks to Aunt Jess and Mimi for their help!  Aunt Jess sent a super awesome link with info about all different kinds of religions (Wm's least favorite was Buddhism because it said greed was the root of all evil and you should give up wordly goods, and his most favorite was Christianity because "as long as you're nice, you can live with God forever!" Just knowing that there is a "living forever" seriously calmed him down.) And Mimi sent a book about dying with Freddy the Leaf.  So Wm is developing his own little belief system (which seems to be: I want stuff, but I also want to live forever - I'm willing to be sorta nice to make that happen).

And - in other news - today it has been 15 years since I started dating Steve.  He doesn't like to celebrate our "dating" anniversary anymore.  But, to me, it's even more meaningful because it's when we fell in love, not when we signed a piece of paper.  So - here's to 15 years of lovin' Steve!  When I reminded him it's our 15 year anniversary, Steve's response was: "we're old."  He's such a romantic.

Help...

Wm started crying last night as he laid in bed, so I go in and ask what's wrong and he wails, "I don't want to die!"  No idea where this is coming from.  He tells me he's afraid it will be "pitch black and nothing" when he dies and that scares him.  He's got big, fat tears rolling down his cheeks.  So I'm panicking because he's clearly very upset and I have no idea what to say.  I start out with a speech about how he's very young and has a lot of years to live and when he's very old, he will be ready to die and rest.  Wm is not buying it.  I start wracking my brain.  So I go, "Well, did you know lots of people think when you die that something awesome happens?"  He finally stopped crying and looked interested.  I ask him if he's heard of God and he shook his head.  So I try to give him a basic rundown of God and Heaven and the afterlife.  FINALLY he seems a little bit comforted.  But I am not religious at all and don't know much beyond the very basic beliefs of any religion at all.  So I'm trying to figure out ways to explain what different religions believe to a 5 year old kid terrified of dying and needing to believe in a happy afterlife.  If anyone has anything...I'm all ears.  I've been searching for books online, but most are indoctrination-type texts, not really explaining the religion.  My plan is to just expose him to all the biggies and let him make up his own mind about what he believes. Any assistance with this would be greatly appreciated!

The Great TV Wars

Steve has been trying to wear me down for years - he wants a big 'ole TV.  So, finally, I grew weary of the battle and told him if he can raise all the funds he needs to get the TV he wants through birthday/Christmas, he can do whatever he wants - on the condition that he finds a way for me to move my fireplace heater into the living room.  Because I have been trying wear him down about getting some sort of heating element that will keep me warm in the winter.  It's been a mutual wearing down.

So...it began.  Steve created architectural drawings and scale models of our living room trying to figure out a way to reconfigure everything so that a big TV will fit, as well as my heater.  After a week or so, he threw in the towel and said, "forget it...it's impossible."  Then, right as he gave up, he had a brain storm.  So we have spent the entire morning furiously moving furniture.  Steve discovered old, braided wiring where he wants his new fancy TV to go, so the whole business has become even more intense.  Steve is, as I type, drilling something into my floor...I don't even want to know (now he's scurried to the basement where horrible sounds are emerging).  He's sweaty and disheveled...he is a man on a mission.  A mission for a big TV.  And, if you know Steve, you know he doesn't mess around.  Once he got started, he didn't stop.  Our entire first floor has now been reconfigured.  My back is going to hurt tomorrow.  But Steve is VERY pleased with himself.  We are now getting ready to leave for Best Buy so that he can start scouting TV's. --  Holy god, I hear him sawing something down there.  SAWING.  This can't be good.

Wm says, "I like the way you changed around the furniture, Daddy!"  We ate lunch at the newly moved dining room table and then Wm was all, "I don't know about this..."  But, when told we're getting a bigger TV he can game on, he was all about it.

You'll notice my little fireplace heater under the stockings!  And the TV is across the room on the old coffee table - thus opening up the room.  I hate to admit it, but it does look way bigger and more open this way.  Kudos to Steve. (You'll see Wm iPaddin' on the couch.)

Steve moved our dining table back to toward the rear of the room and shifted the shelving unit to the front.  We put a little bench behind the dining table that you can't see from this angle.  But it's very cute!  Again...props to Steve.

From the sound of things, Steve has now broken out his heavy duty drill thing.  I think Best Buy just got backburnered.  If I know Steve at all, he will come up here shortly, hair in every direction and wild-eyed screaming, "Where is my cell phone?!?!  I have to call my dad..."

Best. Son. Ever.

I just found a piece of paper crammed into Wm's backpack.  I'd take a picture and put it up here, but Wm did it in yellow and it's hard to read.  It will be hung up though.  Oh, yes, it will be hung up!  It reads:

WILLIAM 

I LOVE YOU MOM!!!

[drawing of said mom - sans hair for some reason]

As I tucked him into bed, I gave him a big hug and told him I LOVED his picture and he goes, "well, you're the best mom in the world - I love you more than anything!"  I find the timing (right before Christmas) *somewhat* suspicious.  But I am just going to believe that he is 100% in earnest - because it's pretty sweet.  Wm says he's making one for Steve tomorrow.  Hopefully not in yellow.

Game Boy

Wm has major Turner genes going on: he LOVES games.  Games of all kinds.  He is obsessed with Uno and wants to play constantly.  I am about Unoed out!  His other favorites include Sorry!, Trouble, and Operation.  He is something of a sore loser.  Steve and I don't want him to win all the time, but after a number of losses in a row, we'll try to stack the deck in his favor so that he gets some wins in there too.  He caught me shuffling the cards of Sorry! around so he'd win and he pointed a boney finger in my face and screamed," YOU CHEATED SO I WOULD WIN!  SANTA SAW THAT, CHEATER!!!!!"  Of course, he let the win stand.

Wm earned a family game night this evening by being all green today!  (Despite an indoor recess even!)

You can see the joy on his face.

Note the concentration

Craptastic Thanksgiving of Doom

Well, this may have been the worst Thanksgiving of my adult life. Steve infected me with his whooping cough-like illness and I felt awful on Tuesday and Wednesday. Then, woke up Thursday feeling like hell.  Steve thought we should just stay home, but I didn't want to be the Angel of Death for Thanksgiving.  So we packed up a pharmacy of drugs for me and hit the road north.  I was running on 3 hours of sleep in the last 48 hour period.  It was not good.  Steve and Wm had a blast up in Warren though!!  But, I hadn't even slept in my own bed in 3 nights (it was the couch for me) and I spent most of the nights hacking and/or pacing around.  So we came home so I could hack and pace in my own living room - and be near my supply of teas, medications, and DVRed shows.  I woke up on Friday and Steve goes, "Good god - you need to go the doctor...you like like a zombie.  You look practically dead."  And that's about how I felt.  I sent Steve to the pharmacy to get me a neti pot and lots of new and stronger meds.    Finally, last night, I managed (still not in bed, mind you) to get about 6 hours of sleep.  And I woke up today feeling like I'm on the mend!!  I still haven't showered or changed out of the same jammies I put on as soon as we got home Thursday.  I'm smelling a bit ripe.  I tried to give Steve a kiss under the mistletoe and he ran for the hills.

I had set up shop on the couch and the coffee table with blankets, pillows, tissues, glasses of various fluids, books, the iPad, and all the necessities.  Steve goes, "Where is the remote control, Wm?  Oh...it's over here in Mommy's Fortress of Solitude."  Ahhh, Steve...gets me every time.

But - we did put up the Christmas decorations and trees today!  It's feeling festive!!

Wm has begun the count to Christmas.  He keeps saying, "I am SO EXCITED for Christmas!!!!!"  He is plotting to stay awake to try and see Santa. We'll see how long that lasts...

Wm gets a special little tree just for him in his room.  He looooves putting it up!

That's What She Said

Today is Wm's last day of school before his Thanksgiving break.  I took tomorrow off to hang out with him, so I am pretty excited about that!!!  As we were walking up to the bus stop this morning, we had a hilarious conversation.  Steve and I always interject with "that's what she said" a la Michael Scott (for all your Office watchers!)  But, clearly, Wm does not get the innuendo behind "that's what she said."  He just knows that Steve or I will say something seemingly innocuous like, "it was a foot long at least," and the other will follow with, "that's what she said," and then we both laugh like hyenas.  So, Wm has taken to working it in to try and get laughs (a natural comedian, that one).  Here is how it went down this morning...

Me: We have a vacation day tomorrow!  What should we do?
Wm: That's what she said!
Me: [laughs]
Wm: [at least a full 2 minutes pause and then mumbles to himself] I don't even know why that's funny.

Unjustly Blamed

We have lost our iTouch.  Steve is in a FRENZY. He made me help him divide Wm's room into a search grid and tear it apart.  We looked in the closets, in our shoes, in the basement, even in the attic crawl space.  No iPod.  So the entire time this search is going on, Steve is switching back and forth between blaming Wm and blaming me.  He was all, "When your mom gave it back to you, that's the last time we saw it!  What did you do with it?!!?"  Then he'd go, "Wm!  Where did you take it?!!?  We know you have it! You always have it!"  Finally, this morning, he says, "when did I go to Urgent Care?"  YES!  Turns out that STEVE took the iTouch to Urgent Care and THAT is when it went missing!  So, STEVE is the culprit!!!!  When I told him to go search his car, he goes, "where are my keys?"  Then spent 10 minutes tearing the house apart looking for his keys.  Finally, not finding them, he just used mine (always kept in the same place, I might add).  I asked him why he was so intent to find the iTouch when he had never shown that much interest in it and he goes, "well, I lost my MP3 player and wanted to use that instead."

Tally of stuff Steve has lost: 3
Tally of stuff Cory has lost: 0
Tally of stuff Wm has lost: 0

Steve just came in from his car.  He was all, "I FOUND IT!!!!!"  It had fallen out of his pocket and down between the seat the and door and was wedged in there.  He was all smiles and glee.  But then said, "OK...now I'm going to look for my keys.  When did you see them last?"

Steve's updated tally: 2

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Christmas is in the air!  Wm toiled for HOURS over his Christmas list.  He wrote the whole thing himself!  He got online and looked up what he wanted, then wrote it down on his letter to Santa.  He did great!  I have to admit...it did take me about 20 minutes to decipher the whole thing.  But, for his first time...winning!!

The top says:

Dear Santa, I got a blue card and I hold the door for Mom.  I have been a good boy.  I will leave you cookies when you come.  Here is my list.

There's a lot on that list!  But, I figured divvied up between all interested parties, we should be able to make most of it happen.  You'll notice that the word "Lego" appears quite often.

Then, when we were at Lowe's, Wm found a dancing Christmas hat that lit up and played music.  Of course, he couldn't resist dancing along with the hat.

Bonjour!

Wm had an insane milk mustache happening at dinner (I think he was trying to take part in Movember).  Wm's mustache even curled up at the ends daintily.  I kept calling him Pierre and talking with a French accent.  But, eventually, Wm got annoyed and was all, "knock it off."  I tried to get a picture of it, but you can't really see his Pierre-stache in its full glory:

Ooooooo la la!

Wm said tonight of one of his classmates, "I don't like him.  He cries for chocolate milk all the time.  I'm like, 'dude, chocolate milk isn't even good for your body - calm down.' But he doesn't listen. He does not need chocolate milk.  It has way too much sugar." NICE.

Conferencin'

Tonight was our Parent-Teacher Conference.  We were pretty nervous going in (especially because Wm has had some behavior issues the past couple days). But it went really well!!  Mrs. Couch said she wants to keep Wm challenged, so she has moved him on to first grade readers and his reading group book this week is an E Level reader.  Wm read it with ease.  I will not be surprised if Wm has surpassed first grade reading level before he even starts first grade!  The same goes with math.  Mrs. Couch said Wm is actually at the point of understanding the principles of multiplication.  She gave us some ideas to work with Wm to engage his interest and learning in math since he seems to like it so much.  It's online games, so he will probably also enjoy it!!

The things Wm needs to work on are neatness (his writing and assignments are hurried and sloppy as he rushes to complete them and move on to the next thing) and "respecting others."  Apparently his wiggles are not a problem, but he moves into other people's space and then becomes a disruption.  So Mrs. Couch told us to encourage Wm to keep his body in his space and respect other peoples' space.  That bit is easier said that done!!   But we'll try!

Overall, Wm seems to be doing very well!  We feel much relieved after going in for the conference.  Thank goodness Mrs. Couch is no Meanie!!

We got to bring home the timeline Wm made of his life.  It was done before he was writing himself, so it is as dictated by Wm to me (you can click it to enlarge it so you can read it...maybe):

I am a Moron

I am off today for Veteran's Day.  I assumed Wm was off to - it's a bank holiday and it seems like that kid is never in school.  Steve decided to take the day off too.  But then we woke up this morning and saw all the kids walking to the bus stop.  I got online and saw that Wm DOES have school today.  But we'd been promising the kid he could have a 3 day weekend for 2 weeks. And we were late anyway.  So I called him off.  He's getting Steve cold anyway, I guess.  But I am so mad at myself!!!  Steve and I could so have used the day to do fun adult things!  I don't even remember the last time we had any prolonged Wm-free time.  And I blew it!!!!  ARG!  But Wm is, of course, thrilled.

Wm has also inherited my love of messing with people's minds.  He got off the bus yesterday and says, "Mommy, I hate to tell you this - I got a red card today and there is a note in my backpack from Mrs. Couch."  I'm all upset.  And Wm keeps up the charade the entire walk home.  He could have won an Oscar for the performance.  We get inside and I dig out the note from Mrs. Couch.  But it says he had an all green day and "exhibited great self control" that day!  I look up and Wm has this huge, evil grin on his face and he screams, "I TRICKED YOU!!!!!!!"  Then danced around and laughed like an insane person.  I go, "let's trick Daddy!"  So, when Steve got home, the trick was repeated to great success.  Only this time, I got to dance around and laugh too since I was in on it.  I told Steve how he got me too and Steve goes, "good god, he is totally your son...we are in trouble."

First Report Card

Steve discovered Wm's first report card buried in his backpack this morning - I missed it yesterday.  In all his key academics Wm got "exceeding" - in fact, he has already surpassed kindergarten reading level. They have reading levels A, B, C, and D - and the goal is to be reading "D Level" books at the end of kindergarten and into first grade.  Wm's report card said he has already read all the D Level books.  So hopefully they can find something to keep Wm entertained for the rest of the year!!!  Wm also got high marks in Math (got that from  his dad) and has surpassed kindergarten math skills.

Conversely, Wm got "needs improvement" on pretty much all the social stuff - listens, plays well with friends, sits still and pays attention.  But...that was to be expected.  Plus, kid has got to be pretty damn bored a lot of the time!  Oh, but he didn't do so well in penmanship.  Ironically, if I remember correctly, I always got needs improvement in that as well.  I still write like crap.  Who needs penmanship these days anyway, right?  I type like the wind.

We go in for our parent-teacher conference next Wednesday [cue scary music]

Roids

Steve is feeling MUCH better today after he started the meds yesterday and actually slept through the night!  He's actually in some strange euphoric energy-filled crazy excited state after feeling crappy for so long.  I called him at work today and this is how it went...

Me: How are you feeling?
Steve: GREAT!!!!!!
Me: Awesome.  It's about time, right?
Steve: TOTALLY!!!!!!!!
Me: Wow, you seem to be in a great mood.
Steve: I KNOW, RIGHT?!?!!?!?  I THINK IT'S THE ROIDS!
Me: Well, good for you!
Steve: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

I took a picture of Steve's "medicine cabinet" (aka our dining room table) so you can see what it's taken to get him to this point:

He is on some strange drug schedule like an 80 year old man.  But, at least it's working!

Steve, however, is my hero - my knight in shining armor.  Wm is being a real turd this evening - and Steve, in all his euphoria, was all, "I am going to go get an Xbox game!  It's on SALE today!  And, I'll take Wm to Best Buy with me!"  So, Steve took away Spawn of Satan and I'm blissfully home all alone. Best. Husband. Ever.

Wm Voted Today!

Steve has had an awful cough for over a week - and has gotten almost no sleep because he's up all night hacking.  Henceforth, I have gotten no sleep. Needless to say, we are unhappy.  I finally talked Steve into going to the doctor today.  Turns out he is a big pile of infection (namely, sinus).  I guess the sinus icky was dripping down the back of his throat and causing the cough.  So now Steve is on a steroid, an antibiotic, a nasal spray, a codeine cough syrup, and something for his stomach because he's on so many meds.  He is a sad sack.  That didn't stop us from going out to vote, though!

Steve and I walked up to get Wm from the bus stop (Steve was home early due to his doctor's appointment) and then we walked up the street to vote.  Wm LOVED it!!!  He says he can't wait to be 18 so he can vote himself.  He even got to push some of the voting buttons.  AND, he got a sticker.

Then we came home and I made chili for dinner - with homemade cornbread (a first!)  Steve was a big fan.  I thought it would be soothing for all his ailments.

Picasso

Wm drew an awesome picture today at school.  It is a picture of the family and the iPad (can you tell he loves it?) Then he "wrote a story" about the iPad all by himself with NO help!!  He sounded out all the words himself.  See if you can figure out what it says (I will decipher it at the bottom of the drawing):

(Translation: I bought an iPad and I played on it)

Wm had his first kindergarten play date today. And, very weirdly, while I was talking with his friend's mom, we discovered we went to the same high school and she knew and was friends with Drew!  Crazy times.  Wm had the time of his life and did NOT want to leave.  I had to drag him home and he talked about nothing else...until he was allowed to play on the iPad - and then all else faded into the background.

iPaddin'

Due to the fact that Steve's computer pretty much died, we have finally purchased an iPad. I'm not sure I like it yet...William, however, is VERY sure he likes it. He LOVES it. I am trying this post out on here for the first time. Probably the last...it's a bit weird to use for blogging. But, I took two pictures on here I can't figure out how to get on my computer - so here it goes.

[Note: it did not go well - I am currently fixing all the weird formatting that occurred on the iPad on my laptop.  Note to self, do not use iPad for blogging.]

First treats made with Halloween bounty:

Peanut butter cookies with Halloween kisses

Trail mix with Halloween peanut M&M's

Next week: candy bar brownies!

It's Day 1 and I am not adjusting well to the end of Daylight Savings Time.  It's 9:38 and I am about to go to bed.  Meanwhile, Wm has his big kindergarten play date tomorrow after school.  He is pumped! He got his hair cut tonight, which he HATES.  So I always buzz it all off so that I can go as long as possible before I have to cut it again.  He currently looks ridiculous.  It's a good time.  I'll have to get a picture tomorrow....

I'll end with Wm's current favorite joke (which he thinks is high-larious):

Knock, knock

[who's there?]

Shampoo and conditioner

[shampoo and conditioner who?]

End of joke...cut to Wm's insane laughter

It's *supposed* to go:

Knock, knock

[who's there?]

Shamp

[shamp who?]

AND CONDITIONER!

Vote NO

Wm is a mystery to me.  I can never tell what will resonate with him.  I told him about the birds and bees and he was all, "meh."  But, today, he and I took a walk around the neighborhood and he asked about the "Vote No on Issue 2" signs all around.  So I explained the best I could - and told him that we would be affected by Issue 2 since I am a state employee.  I gave him this big speech on the importance of voting and  educating yourself about the issues before you go.  I asked him he if wanted to come in and watch me vote.  And that was it.  Or so I thought.  About every 10-15 minutes for the last 8 hours, Wm has brought up Issue 2 and asked what happens if "all the bad people vote 'yes' and win."  I keep telling him we will be FINE no matter what, but he's obsessed.  When we video chatted with Drew and Jess, Wm immediately ran over and whispered in my ear, "ask them if they are voting NO on Issue 2!"  He doesn't completely get that they can't vote on Issue 2 in Colorado.  I've created a monster.

In other news, Wm helped me cook vegetable soup for dinner!  He helped with every single step - and I even let him wield his first "grown up knife" with careful observation.  I gave him a big talk on knife safety and them turned him loose.  He did GREAT!  Totally respected the knife and cut up a whole potato!  Ironically, when I put the soup in front of him, he took one bite, spit it back into the bowl and went, "ew...I am not eating that."

Beware of Wm...he has a knife and knows how to use it.

Steve just went to turn on the TV and I said, "do you really need to do that - it's so nice and quiet." Steve made a face at me, but left the TV off.  Then Wm says, "you are making good choices tonight Daddy: sitting nicely, eating a good dinner, not turning on the TV.  I am putting you on a blue card."

Numbers and Letters

Wm is a super genius.  Not only did he get another blue card today, but he got home from school and asked for a piece of paper to write his numbers to 100.  Which he did perfectly.  Then, he wrote all his ABC's.  Lastly, he drew a picture of some dude (riding on what looks like a unicycle) and a rocket ship.  My favorite part is that Wm wrote "SNAP" under the guy on the unicycle.  I couldn't resist taking a picture:

I have been trying to figure out what do about Wm's insane amount of candy.  So he and I sat down and sorted it.  We got rid of all the stuff he doesn't like.  Then, we sorted out all the things I can cook with.  So I am making trail mix with the M&M's, peanutbutter cookies with hershey kisses, brownies with candy bar bits instead of chocolate chips, etc.  Since I usually make Wm a dessert treat each week for his lunch, I'll just work my way through most of the candy baking it into his lunch desserts!  I try to use whole wheat flour and add pureed veggies as much as I can to his desserts so he gets sneaky healthy stuff.  This week I made him whole wheat rolls, but put a teaspoon of Nutella in the middle.  He thought it was a super treat.

Steve has weirdly become obsessed with Adele.  He listens to her all the time.  ALL the time.  I really like her...but now it's stuck in my head constantly.  He's killing me.  Wm said it's "boring" and won't even dance to it.  And he dances to everything.  But Adele is pretty awesome, though.  Wm doesn't appreciate quality music.  Steve just burst into this song as he unloaded the dishwasher (weird timing):

Happy Dance

The Talk

Wm has shown an increasing interest in where babies come from and how they get into the Mommy's belly.  After a failed attempt to try and explain it myself, I tracked down a book.  I did lots of internet searching to find an age appropriate book that wasn't preachy and just got down to the point.  It came in at the library yesterday - and Wm LOVES to come home to find new books waiting for him, so he wanted to read it right away.  I have a crystal clear memory of being told where babies come from...and the horror and disgust that quickly followed.  So I was prepared for lots of questions, shock, and the same horror/disgust.  I started reading the book (which starts with explanation of parts, then gets down to the nitty gritty, and ends with a bit on "OK touches and not OK touches").  When I got to The Part (complete with hilarious cartoon illustration), I read it slowly, watching Wm's face.  Nothing.  So I keep going...and nothing.  NOTHING.  When I finish, I go, "What do you think, bud?  Do you have questions?" He says, "It was a good book."  I tell him, "Yep, and that is REALLY how babies get into bellies - not just a story.  What do you think?  QUESTIONS? REACTION?" He goes, "I do have one question....can I have a snack?"  So...it was all very anti-climactic.  Wm, basically, didn't care at all.  He said it doesn't even matter because he's never having babies and is going to live with us in the pink house forever.  He did want to make sure that Daddy and I would not be making any more babies - he does NOT want a sibling.  And that was that.  Ho hum.

Zombie Attack!

Wm had an awesome Halloween!  He and Steve spent all weekend carving up all the garden pumpkins (and saving seeds for next year's patch!)

After I got Wm into his zombie gear, Steve decided to get in on the action.

Wm went up and down the street trick or treating.  I told him he could have 3 pieces of candy tonight.  He chose: a bag of teddy grahams, a bag of goldfish, and a small box of Nerds.  Who is this kid?  Where was the CHOCOLATE?!!?  We have an insane amount of candy leftover - and Wm got quite a haul. So all my students will be making out like bandits.  

Wm did manage to make it through the night without eating anyone's brains...

Gobble, Gob-

Wm is eating a turkey sandwich...
Wm: Is this turkey I am eating from a turkey that was alive at one time?
Me: Yep
Wm: How do they make this out of it? [points to sandwich]
Me: Well, they take the turkey that is alive, kill it, take all it's feathers out, take all it's insides out, cut it up into pieces, cook it, then cut it up into thin pieces we put on bread and eat.  There may be more, but that's about how I'm guessing it goes.
Wm: It sounds...involved.
Me: Indeed.
Wm: [pause] And kinda mean.
Me: Yeah.
Wm: [takes big bite of sandwich] Hmmmm....well, it's good!

Stop! Pumpkin Time!

Wm had a great visit with Grandma and Papa.  They brought him Halloween goodies, which he loooooved!  He got to play on Grandma's iPad...which he really didn't want to stop doing.  But, we pried him away to go see the Haunted Santa Maria and for a walk on the Scioto Mile.  On the way home, he got to stop at Target (and snagged 2 Lego guys) and Jeni's!  Wm was very sad to see Grandma and Papa go!

Wm just finished carving his pumpkins.  It got a bit cold, so we moved the party down by the fire.  We are all prepared for trick or treat on Monday!!