Shaggy

Wm is still vacillating between sickliness and wellness.  He is consistently running a low fever that tends to get higher in the afternoon.  He's not eating super well (even for him) and is more lethargic than usual.  But, as long as he's medicated, he seems OK.  Wm has watched more SpongeBob in the last 3 days than he has in the last 6 months combined.  I hate SpongeBob.  He has also been doing lots of drawing.  He made this for Steve.  I thought it was hilarious since it's addressed to "Steve" and not "Daddy."  It is the Ninjago Skull Truck.

Then, Steve and I have grown increasingly stir crazy being cooped up with a sick kid for days.  I managed to escape earlier to get my hair cut and new, awesome bright red highlights put in; and Steve had a fun trip to Lowe's.  But we have otherwise been on Sick Kid Duty.  Steve decided to show off his Shaggy impression.  Which, of course, I had to tape.  Steve insisted on veto power, but he has agreed to let me post it here (as long as I promised to leave it off facebook).  He's a winner, that Steve.  And this is what happens when you're trapped at home with nothing to do for hours on end:

Update

Wm woke up from nap, said "I'm hungry," and ate a huge bowl of pretzels.  Still said he was hungry.  So he ate rice.  Still hungry. Tacos. Still hungry. Cherries.  Still hungry. Chocolate treat. Then I go, "how are you feeling, buddy?" and he goes, "Good. Why?"  He's BACK, ladies and gentleman!  He's upstairs creating a lego masterpiece.  After the initial fright, I called Steve all in a panic and he came home from work.  By the time he walked in, Wm was running around as normal. So Steve thinks I'm crazy.  But I did get to witness this conversion...

Wm: Daddy, will you come build legos with me?
Steve: Sure.  Just let me finish this email.
Wm: So...what you're saying, really, is that that email is more important to you than me?
Steve: [bewildered] Wait. What?  NO. What? It would just take...one...minute. It's not...what?
Me: [laughing my butt off] He just pulled out the big guns on you, right there.
Wm: [looking cute]
Steve: OK...let's go.
Wm's Brain: I win...I always win.  These humans are starting to bore me.

UPDATE TO THE UPDATE: It was all a ruse.  Wm is sicker than ever. :(  The puke bucket has been unearthed and Wm is a sad, sad little boy.

Highs and Lows

Well, it has been 24 hours of highs and lows!  Wm had a GREAT night last night, celebrating his awesomeness.

 I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIO!!

Eating celebratory ice cream for earning THREE STARS!

But then, today around 11:30, I got a call from the school that Wm was sick and I needed to come get him.  I flew over there and found him in the nurse's office. And he is really sick, people.  This is the first time in Wm's life, that I can remember, where he has been really sick.  He's been diagnosed with things (strep, pink eye, etc), but he has never SEEMED sick.  I walked into that nurses's office and my heart stopped.  He was SO SICK.  I think he has the flu.  It came out of nowhere, he has a pretty high fever and his he says he head, his belly, and his body hurt.  I carried him to the car and he was burning up.  Then, the whole car ride home he moaned and/or cried.  I brought him in and laid him on the couch, gave him some kiddie aspirin, and he conked OUT.

He's currently sleeping and looks so sick and pathetic.  Poor little dude.  This is the worst feeling ever!  I've never had a sick kid before!! I feel helpless.  I just sat there rubbing his back as he cried that he hurt.  :(

Great Day!

Wm had a GREAT DAY today!!!

Wm came home from school with his whole goal rocket ship colored in!  AND, a report card that says his behavior has much improved since our conference.  Wm hopped off the bus wreathed in smiles.  We are taking him out to dinner and for ice cream to celebrate his awesomeness.  His teacher even gave him a Dove chocolate for being so good today.  

Wm is currently reading a 60 page book all by himself to himself!  He is on page 51 right now - so he's nearly done.  We were both sitting and reading yesterday and I stopped and go, "this is nice," and Wm goes, "what?" and I told him, "just sitting around reading with you," and he smiled cutely and goes, "yeah...it's fun" then went back to his book, and I went back to mine.  Super awesome.  So happy I have a reader!

Duck Dynasty

I am loving this new show, Duck Dynasty.  If you haven't seen it, it is awesome.  Wm watched an episode with me and was mightily entertained.  He goes, "are those REAL people??"  Here is a great clip, where the grandfather explains what to look for in a wife to his grandson as he cleans frogs they caught (my favorite part may be the grandson's face as he tries not to vom). -- Note: actual frogs are actually beheaded and deskinned...if you are bothered by frog massacre, do not watch!! But, Wm was fascinated, so he can handle it and he's kind of a pansy. --

Pushing Buttons

I fed Wm a snack and then shipped him off to Steve upstairs to get his jammies on. A few minutes later, I headed up and found Steve laying morosely in our bed.  Apparently, Wm had been being really evil so Steve asked him, "why are you doing that, dude?" And Wm says, "What? Pushing your buttons?" Steve said, "Yes." And Wm responds, "I want to see how mad you'll get."  Enter me, finding Steve pouting. I go, "So, what's the deal?? That's kinda funny, actually - "pushing your buttons'." And Steve goes, "He's 5.  FIVE." And continued pouting.  So I told Steve that the wily little weasel is just trying to make sure that no matter how evil he is, Steve still loves him.  He probably has a hard day at school all day and wants to be sure he can act out as much as he wants at home and Daddy will still love him no matter what.  That stopped Steve's pouting and he went in to reassure Wm that he was loved - but that button pushing will still not be tolerated.  So Wm had to go to sleep with no Lego guys.  But he was still a happy boy because he knew Daddy loves him! It's a good thing I can spot all of Wm's evil tactics - they're nothing new to me.  Now I'm off to annoy Steve until he tells me he still loves me (poor Steve...he is no match for us).

King of Poop

Mimi said she is missing Wm updates.  Well, never let it be said I am not responsive.  Or, rather, that Wm is not responsive.  Because he chose the next half hour to do something hilarious.  He runs upstairs yelling, "I have to go poooooootty!"  Then, quite bit later, realizing I hadn't heard anything at all, the following conversation ensued...

Me: Wm, how is it going up there?
Wm: Not well.  Don't talk. You're making my poop go away.
Me: OK.  Don't forget to flush and wash your hands when you're done!
Wm: STOP TALKING!!!!!  [mumbles about my lack of listening skills]
[5 minute pause]
Me: OK, I know I'm not supposed to talk, but it's been a while...what's happening?
Wm: LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!
[2 minutes later]
Wm: I NEED TOILET PAPER!!!!!
Steve: I'll get it!
[toilet flushes]
Steve: Oh, no. [sounds of plunger]
So I go upstairs to investigate, Steve is madly plunging the toilet and Wm is dancing around gleefully.
Me: Wm, did you clog up the toilet?
Wm: YES!  Biggest poop EVER!
Me: Gross! You're disgusting, man.  How can something like that come out of your tiny body?
Wm: [insane laughter and fist pumping, runs downstairs and out onto the front porch, where he screams at the top of his lungs] I TOOK THE GIANTEST POOP OF ALLLLL TIIIIIIIME!

Thursday

We weirdly got POURING rain while it was sunny with blue skies.  It was also 82 degrees, so Wm went out to play in the rain...

The Boys looking up stuff on The Interwebz

Einstein

I went upstairs to go to bed last night and found Wm like this when I checked on him:

Could he BE any cuter?

Then, I know I am following up a "my kid is a genius" post with another "my kid is a genius" post.  But, take my word for it, when your kid is a genius...you want to talk about it.  I decided that Wm is the next Einstein. Totally misunderstood at school.  Super genius.  Crazy hair. CHECK.  So, Wm comes home from school today with this paper that he has written a math problem on he said he "invented."  Here it is:

Basically, 1-2= -1 (or, in Wm-speak "1 below 0").  YEAH!  First, I thought it was hilarious that Wm thought he invented negative numbers.  Then, I thought it was FRICKING AMAZING that my kindergartener understands the concept of negative numbers!  When I was introduced to the concept of negative numbers (in, what, 5th grade?), my brain was fried.  I was like, "THIS IS SCREWING WITH MY REALITY!"  Meanwhile, Wm invents them in kindergarten.  I called Steve when Wm got home from school all in a tiz like, "OUR SON HAS INVENTED NEGATIVE NUMBERS, MAN!" Steve was mightily confused.  When I explained, he was relatively unimpressed and just goes, "that's my son."  Then he made evil jokes about how I still don't understand negative numbers.  I am pretty sure that Wm is going to seriously surpass my entire mathematical knowledge by 2nd grade.  

Transgenic Mice

This has nothing to do with Wm, but it's entertaining. This is the kind of email you get when you work in Biomedical Engineering:

Dear Professor,

We create transgenic mice with low cost,
superb quality, and rapid turnaround.

For as low as $2250, we can make transgenic mice for you in just 6 weeks.
For detailed pricing, please visit our transgenic services webpage.

I know what I'm asking for for Christmas!

It's March?

Climate change is not a myth...I have seen it!

 In other news, we have verified what I have long suspected: Wm is a genius.  For reals.  Wm has gone in for two lengthy assessments with a really good psychologist who specializes in childhood ADHD (we need some ammo dealing with the school - and making it tolerable for Wm).  No surprise there: Wm officially has "moderate ADHD with impulsivity."  But, we also discovered after all the extensive testing, that Wm's IQ is not only high, but FAR above even the gifted line.  All of Wm's academics came back at grade level 2.7.  The doctor said Wm is probably bored to tears at school.  He said we could stick Wm in a cave for over two hears and pull him out and he'd probably still be above grade level.  

Meanwhile, Wm's impulsiveness means he is simply not capable of behaving at school the way he is expected to: sitting still, listening to the teacher for stretches of time, following directions, etc.  The doctor said a good way to think about it would be someone giving you directions in a foreign language and then punishing you for not following them.  We go back next week to talk about strategies for Wm's success.  The doctor said most of it will be "teacher education" and "parent education."  He'll also work with Wm on tips and tricks for coping with school's expectations.  It did make me a tad annoyed with the school system because Wm's one message about school has been, "I know all the stuff we talk about - I AM SO BORED." And I have sent that message to them numerous times (Wm is TOTALLY engaged if he is learning and interested), only to be ignored.  Now I have proof!  PROOF!  My kid is wicked smart.  Probably way smarter than me.  Definitely smarter than you, the unwashed masses. Wm is the 1%!  

Tornado!

We are currently hiding out in the basement.  The tornado sirens are blaring.  I thought that the "cloud rotation" was over Dublin, so we sat and ate dinner while they rang on and on.  After dinner we turned on the TV and discovered that we are at the epicenter.  So, to the basement we tromped.  It's cold and boring down here.  Luckily, we haven't lost power so Wm is watching SpongeBob on the iPad and I am blogging.  Steve, meanwhile, is dashing around like madmad screaming things about gutters, "lakes" in our backyard, and basement leaks.  So...typical evening.  

It was actually gorgeous all day!  And, big news, Wm actually asked to go out and play by himself! I have photographic evidence of Wm's first voluntary solo outdoor play. (He caught me taking pictures of him shortly thereafter and was all, "hey - wanna play with me?" So it was short-lived.)

We also went and got Wm sidewalk chalk - which he used to make all sorts of masterpieces including, but not limited to: Mars, a skeleton, a ninja map, and his name many, many times.  But, it has likely all been washed away.  A blank canvass for tomorrow!

UPDATE: We emerged from the basement to find a river running through our backyard!  It has NEVER done this!  Our neighbors are out shoveling water away from their house.  AL GORE....WE NEED YOU!!!!!!!

UDPATE 2: After stopping for a bit, it has started again.  And now, hail is falling! The novelty has worn off and there are Wm tears.  

New Blog!

Come check out Jess and I on our new food blog!!

(Concept by Jessica, Header by Drew, Bandwagon jumping - and name! - by Cory)

Saturday

Wm ready to do battle

Trying to ride his bike without training wheels.  Balance and coordination do not come naturally to Mr. William. Suzanne, on the other hand, is a natural.

Mean Face

Laughing when I asked him to make Mean Face for a picture

Takin' a breather after bike riding plumb tuckered him out

Aliiiiiive!

We are alive!  Barely.  After Wm's pink eye, he appeared to be having a reaction to the drops - but, after another visit to the doctor (THANK YOU, MIMI), it was discovered that Wm had a sinus infection that had apparently started leaking into his lymph nodes and infecting them.  It is really hard to tell when Wm is sick because he never acts sick.  When he got home, I go, "Wm...you are a really sick boy!  How are you feeling??" and he says, "Good. Why?"  In the meantime, Wm infected both Steve and I with pink eye AND with the Virus from Hell.  So, while Wm was A-OK...Steve and I were dying.  I am feeling better today, but Steve is still feeling gross.  I told him it was just a virus, but he insisted he was VERY ILL and went to the doctor.  Diagonsis: virus. Treatment: suck it up, pansy...and drink some fluids.  

Also while we were all in a semi-vegetative state due to illness, we have been meeting with Wm's school because he is having a rough time.  His teacher and the behavioral specialist have worked up a really good plan to help Wm at school.  He came home today with a gold bead necklace and sucker from the treasure box for being good!  Only 2 more months of school and Wm will have survived kindergarten!  

Hopefully, we can rejoin the Land of the Living now!

This pic is old, but I never got a chance to post it.  Wm loves to play trivial pursuit!!  

Wm made this ninja out of construction paper.  

PINK EYE!

Wm has a new fan club at the OSU Fast Clinic.  He woke up this morning with a crusty eye that got increasingly pussy and red as the day wore on, so we took him to the Fast Clinic.  The doctor kept asking questions to me instead of Wm, which he did not like - so he just started answering them.  She looked at me and goes, "was his eye crusty this morning or hard to open?" and Wm pipes up before I could open my mouth and says, "when I woke up, it was kind of gooey and I just picked at it and eventually got it open."  The doctor was very impressed, so, jokingly, says, "OK, William, has your vision been compromised?" and kind of chuckles.  But Wm goes, "well, it has been a little bit blurry, but if I blink and blink it clears up."  The doctor sat there with her mouth open for a minute then goes, "where did you GET him?!?"  And she looks at him and goes, "you're in kindergarten, right?" and Wm says, "Yep!"  The doctor said Wm was the best 5 year old she has ever had in the office! I told Wm how proud I was of his how good he was at the doctor's. I'm sure this will all come crashing down around our ears when Steve comes home with the eye drops we have to put in.  Wm is like, "I don't want eye drops...I think that's a bad idea - I'm not doing it."  Challenge accepted.

Santa

Wm just said: "I think Santa watches all the kids on the whole planet all the time to make sure we're being good. But there are a lot of kids, so he has to multi-task."

Heaven is Made of Legos

Wm: Can I PLEASE have that $10 lego set?
Me: No.
Wm: [incoherent and incessant whining and begging]
Me: You will never get that lego set if you keep it up.
Wm: Oh, yes, I will.
Me: Oh, no, you won't.
Wm: I will have it in Heaven.
Me: Well, you can't argue with that.

Wm Heaven is made of Legos.

As I was writing this, Steve and Wm were wrestling around and Wm felt trapped and started crying.  Steve immediately stopped and felt awful, so as he's apologizing to Wm, he tells him he didn't think it would be scary and didn't mean to freak him out, and Wm says, "Daddy...sometimes you have to remember how old I am."

Innovator

Wm came home today with a blue card.  AND, we got a postcard in the mail today...Wm is this month's Character Club member!  This month's theme is "Innovation."  A student who most displays that character strength is chosen for Character Club.  Wm's name will appear in this month's Elementary newsletter and Wm gets to eat lunch with the principal where he will be provided with a special dessert!  The Big Lunch is tomorrow - Wm is very excited!!!

Aunt Jess sent me this necklace in my birthday package-palooza.  Wm immediately snagged it and is in love with it.  I will be lucky if I ever get a chance to wear it!

You'd think, based on his love of jumping, running, climbing, and other dangerous pursuits, that Wm would have been injured many a time.  But he really hasn't.  Ever.  The school nurse called me today to tell me Wm had fallen at school and bummed up his knee.  It is his worst injury ever.  The skin is actually broken and there was quite a bit of blood, apparently.  It's the type of skinned knee I had every other week as a kid - but Wm is majorly freaked out by his Terrible Awful Very Bad Injury.  When he came home from school, he was all, "Look at my KNEE!  LOOK AT IT!!!!!!!"  I'm mostly sad that he ripped the hell out of my favorite pair of his jeans.  That kid is going to have one pair of pants by the time winter is finally over!