You Chose...Poorly

Last night we had Suzanne over for dinner, Wm had a great time - he loves Suzanne.  And Suzanne loves Lego Harry Potter.  So they had a very in-depth conversation about Lego Xbox games.  After a while, when the conversation moved on from games, Wm disappeared up into his room to build stuff.  He is currently playing Lego Indiana Jones (a Christmas gift from Uncle Drew and Aunt Jess!) so his youtube searches involve Indiana Jones.  When I went up to tell him it was bed time, he was standing in the middle of his room, clutching the laptop to his chest and looking very weird.  So I go, "what's wrong, dude?"  He gives me The Big Eyes and says, "I was watching Lego Indiana Jones stuff...then I clicked on something.  Aaaaand...I saw some content that was inappropriate for kids."  Torn between amusement and concern, I ask, "Inappropriate HOW?  Like bad words or violence?"  (One thing we've discovered is 11-13 year old boys find it high-larious to take their Lego guys and make them say all sorts of offensive things on video and then post it to youtube under simple headings like, "Lego Indiana Jones Goes to the Store.") Wm says, "Scary."  So I go, "Well, what did you see?"  He goes, "This guy drank from a cup, then his hair grew really long, and he turned into a skeleton!"  Immediately, I recognize the "you chose poorly" Holy Grail scene from The Last Crusade and say, "oh, yeah...that is a bit scary."  But it's scary in an 80's special affects sort of way and in no way would warp a young mind, so I felt a lot better.  Then I just thought it was 100% funny until Wm woke up in the middle of the night crying because he had a nightmare.  Inappropriate content for kids, indeed.

Flying to Denver

Last night at dinner, we were discussing how we would spend our tax refund.  As we were throwing out ideas (iPad, new carpet, straight into the bank...), Steve says, "shouldn't we just save it and use it for our trip to Denver to see Griffin this summer?"  Bingo.  So then we start planning trip details (when to go, how to get there...) And here is the great conversation with Wm that ensued...

Me: I think we should rent a minivan to drive out - then we can drive everyone around when we get there.
Wm: Wait - we're driving?  No. No. We have to fly.  That is a LONG way. 
Me (panicking and also trying not to mention that I am terrified of flying, to keep from warping his little mind): Hey, buddy...don't you think driving will be a fun way to see the country?
Wm: No.
Me: Ooooookay.  Well, hey! We can stop and see cool things along the way!
Wm: I don't want to.  We're flying.  I'm not driving.
Me (getting VERY nervous): OK...OK.  How about I buy you a Nintendo DS - which is like a portable Xbox - and TWO new games to play?  Then you can play in the car the WHOLE way to Denver! 
Wm: Driving sounds good.
Me...[silently] totally relieved, but also thinking that this, perhaps, isn't the best parenting ever. But pleased nonetheless.

Horny

King William

William received a book of origami paper and directions.  So far, he has made a turtle (which he gave to his friend Alex), a penguin, and a crown.  He is currently working on a Mummy with Daddy.  I just read him a thing all about Mummies and he is very intrigued that there is a dead body in there.

Awesome Convo

Steve and Wm were folding up some origami and Wm is mumbling nonsense.  Steve says, "what are you talking about?"  and Wm replies, "I'm talking about BUSINESS."

Sledding

We took Wm sledding today and we had a GREAT time!!  I meant to bring the camera so I would have some fun pics...but forgot.  Wm became more adventurous and decided he wanted to try going down headfirst.  He shrieked like a banshee the entire way down "this is AWWWWWESOOOOOOME!"  One ride down he was heading straight for a giant rock so Steve and I are screaming, "BAIL OUT! BAIL OUT!" Right before the collision, Wm tumbles off the back into sort of a summersault and screams up the hill, "that was HILLL-AIR-EEEEE-UUUUUS!"  He is currently sitting pink-cheeked and damp at the table drinking some hot chocolate.  

Wm has been able to chat online with his new cousin Griffin!  He is very excited to be The Big Cousin.  He said all the babies at school do is cry, but Griffin looks very cute.  Most of the time he just wants to talk Star Wars with Uncle Drew, but there are some glimmers of interest in Griffin as well!  And Wm still pretty much only calls him The Baby Griffin...as in, "The Baby Griffin has tiny feet!" or "I am older than The Baby Griffin."  It's very cute!!

I finally got back to the gym today after all my various ailments.  I was feeling old and creaky.  Steve and Wm came with me and played basketball while I worked out.  Steve has Wm doing passing drills and other interesting things.  I am hoping between the sledding and the gym, Wm is very worn out and will want to go to bed very early tonight.

Kindergarten

Steve is a good husband...and dad.  I owe him.  Tonight was the informational school fair about kindergartens in the area.  Since we are trying to decide between two, we had planned to go and ask them all our questions to weigh them.  And, believe it or not, I am STILL sick!  I asked Steve if he would go alone and he goes, "well, it's basically my worst nightmare...but I will."  Poor Steve.  Mingling, lots of chit chat, talking with people, asking probing questions, acting interested - Steve torture.  But he went!  And he did it!  AND, managed to get good info!  I wrote out a detailed script for him to follow and that seemed to ease his mind a bit.  (And also assured that I would get the answers to the questions I wanted to ask!)

And, if nothing else, today confirms that Steve is an Awesome Dude.  Willing to face his worst nightmare for the benefit of his son...and sickly wife.  Though, he did just ask when I planned to stop being sick and ruining his life.  Soooo...he's not THAT awesome.

Jail

Wm and I are off on Monday for MLK Day, but Steve has to work.  So I was trying to talk Wm into seeing Tangled with me (everyone with kids has been telling me how cute it is!) I showed him the trailer and he has ZERO interest and refuses to go.  So Steve says, "I think it looks good!  Maybe Mommy and I will go and you can stay home." And Wm points a finger at him and yells, "You can't do that!  You will go to JAIL!"

This morning Wm says, "I haven't watched TV in a long time - can I watch a show?"  So I turned on some weird Saturday morning cartoon that we'd never seen.  A commercial came on and Wm asked me to fast forward through it.  I told him I couldn't since it wasn't taped, but that he shouldn't watch them anyway because they'll melt his brain.  He goes, "I do not believe you."  He's getting hip.  Luckily, he grew bored during the commercial and wandered up to his room to play.  That makes 10 minutes of TV viewing so far this month!

Aaaaand...the gods hate me.  Right after we finally all recovered from that stomach bug, I got a demon cold!  I have been sick nearly all week!  I am just now starting to feel better.  Luckily, both Wm and Steve avoided this one.  Only me.  So, the only conclusion is that the gods hate me.  Worst. Winter. Ever.  I am currently trying to talk Steve into moving to Burbank, CA where I have discovered it has been sunny and 78 all week - and will be for the foreseeable future.  I think if we sold everything we own, we'd have almost enough money to last a couple weeks there anyway...

Star Wars Shoes

Well...the awesome Pumas are being mailed back to zappos as we speak.  Very sad.  We put them on Wm's feet and he immediately said they hurt.  We told him to walk around in them for a bit and within a few minutes the tongue got all scrunchy.  Then, we discovered they felt really big.  So we decided to take him to Stride Rite to get his feet measured.  Aaaaand....Captain Tinytoes is a whole size smaller than we thought!  So the Pumas were a size too big.  But, while we were at Stride Rite, Wm discovered they carry a line of Star Wars shoes.  And they had Clone Trooper shoes that light up.  There was no arguing with that.  Despite the fact that they are HIDEOUS.  So, Wm now has a pair of fugly Clone Trooper shoes on his feet (in the correct size) and the awesome Pumas are winging their way back to zappos.  Drat.  Check out the fugs:

Best Saturday Ever

We decided to have the best Saturday ever now that we are finally all feeling better!  So we woke up, I made chocolate chip scones for breakfast, then we took Wm sledding at The Big Hill (which he was, at first, scared of, then refused to leave!), came home and had hot chocolate, then we're getting changed and heading to Graffiti Burger for lunch!  This afternoon we are going veg out for a movie (unfortunately, probably Star Wars) and then I am making tostada casserole for dinner!  Yum!

Steve and Wm also engaged in one of their favorite pastimes: wrestling.  They were funny, so I grabbed my phone and got a video:

Awesomeness

This has been a day of awesomeness...

1. After ordering Wm's stylin' kicks on zappos less that 24 hours ago, they showed up on our porch today! And they look great!  Wm was even a bit excited himself.

2. Wm had an amazing, amazing day at school!  Even Meanie McNutt said Wm was PERFECT today....ALL day!  He was rewarded with unlimited Xbox playing (though he opted to spend most of his evening building things in his room), pizza for dinner, TWO pieces of candy after said dinner, and permission to take a Lego guy to bed with him.

And, the highlight...most wonderful, awesome, BESTEST news of the day (or week...or month...)

3. Meanie McNutt is leaving Wm's classroom and he is going to get a new teacher!!!!!!!  As is the case with most awful people, Meanie has been promoted (to Preschool Age-level Specialist).  But, this means we will never have to see her again!  Better late than never - Wm has 8 months of preschool left.  And I cannot even begin to describe the relief of knowing that my days of having to listen to Meanie talk trash about Captain Amazing are soooooo numbered!  Farewell, Meanie McNutt!  Don't let the door hit you on the way out!

New Kicks on the Block

Wicked excited about the awesome new kicks I just got for Wm:

That kid is RIDICULOUS on shoes.  His tiny feet grow at a snail's pace, but he destroys shoes in a matter of weeks - I don't think he's ever actually outgrown a pair.  I decided to give up bargain shoe shopping and get him (hopefully) more durable ones that have a more durable price tag to match.  As luck would have it...they're also pretty sweet.  Kid Pumas!  Wm is going to rock out hard core in these babies.  Needless to say, he is not nearly as excited by this purchase as I am.  

Steve has much improved.  He actually ate dinner tonight and I've heard grumblings about returning to work tomorrow (though I do not like that idea).  And the first thing Wm said..."Are you feeling better, Daddy?  Good.  Can we go to Walmart now?"  

Walmart

I have begun to suspect that Walmart is somehow sending subliminal messages into the brains of our children, people.  Steve and I have never mentioned Walmart, we never go to Walmart, Wm does not watch TV ever (seriously...EVER), no one we know goes to/talks about Walmart.  Despite this, Wm keeps yammering on about Walmart!  The batteries in his controller died yesterday and he said, "we'll need to go to Walmart to get some more."  Then, he continued to harangue me all night about "going to Walmart."  I don't even know where a Walmart IS for the love of Zeus!  Just now, he was talking about the next thing he was going to build from Legos and he said, "I am going to build Walmart out of Legos!"  I find this...horrifying.  Walmart has somehow permeated my carefully constructed Walmart-free Zone!  [shaking fist in air] "WALMART!!!!!!!!!!"  It's on now.  A battle royal.  Me vs. Walmart for the soul of my child!  I will be victorious!  By all that is holy, Wm will only grace a Walmart to protest its existence!!!  (Flash ahead 30 years and Wm will probably be CEO of Walmart, change the name to Wilmart, and drive around in his new Hummer that runs on orphan tears and baby seal pelts.)

Oh, and also, Steve has succumbed to The Dread Stomach Bug of Doom.  So that pretty much sucks for him.  He started feeling nauseous at work today, then sent me a gchat that said only, "it has begun."  He came home and has been sulking around all afternoon.  Wm and I, however, are both better and returned to work/school today.

Another One Bites the Dust

Well...I have fallen victim to the Dread Plague William.  Yesterday afternoon I started feeling sort of sketchy and by dinnertime I was laid flat.  I did not even come down to the fist floor of the house in 24 hours.  Unpleasant.  I am feeling better (and am on the first floor!) William, too, seems to be feeling better.  We called the doctor today because he slept in until 9AM (VERY odd) and still seemed lethargic.  She said some nasty stomach bug is going around and as long as he isn't dehydrated, just keep pumping him full of clear liquids and give him lots of rest.  Then about an hour ago, Wm came in and said, "I am HUNGRY." And ate.  And ate.  And ate.  We eventually had to cut him off because we were afraid it was too much all at once!  So I think he's through it.  But he and I will be staying home tomorrow as well - just to rest up and make sure we are 100% before venturing out into the world again.  And I REALLY hope I can go another 25 years before getting the stomach flu again!  Steve is praying that he misses it completely.  It is definitely a role reversal for Wm and I to be laid up and Steve to be the sole healthy one!!  We've been keeping him busy.

To continue with the Christmas Lego Saga, below is a picture of Wm with the completed General Grievous Starfighter.  He finished it mere hours before falling ill.  He is back up in his room working hard on building something or other again.  Never gonna keep him down...