Donuts & Grumps

The morning started off promisingly. After reading a review from a NYC food critic after his visit to Columbus in which he called the donut place in the North Market "the best donut he has ever eaten, hands down," we decided to hit it up for breakfast! And he wasn't joking. It was amazing. Wm got (boringly) a chocolate sprinkle donut, Steve got a triple chocolate donut, and I got a salted butterscotch donut. They were HUGE. I told Wm to stop eating when his belly had had enough or he'd get a tummy ache. And the fun began...

Happiness

After Wm polished off his entire donut, he goes, "my belly hurt a quarter of the way through, but I didn't care." He ate more than Steve and I did. He DID feed a large portion of his donut to the birds whom he befriended (they spotted an easy mark).

Couldn't finish

Then, Wm ran and twitched around like he was on meth. After about 30 minutes, he was like, "I'm tired. I WANT TO GO HOME. NOOOOOW." And then the sugar crash happened. 

We then went to the mayor's block party at Columbus Commons with Mimi. Sadly, Wm was still mid-crash and was quasi-evil. But he still had fun!

Petting a police horse! He said it was "creepy"

BRUTUS!!!!!!

Mimi got a closer shot!

After we got home, I stuffed him full of proteins and veggies. After a plate piled with hard boiled egg, black beans, pistachios, carrots, and apples, he was much better! He goes, "I think I ate enough calories for a WEEK. I will have to do some exercises." Haha!! 

It's a good thing he is feeling better because Wm's fun isn't over! He is heading to a new friend's house for a big sleep over tonight. That means Steve and I have a KID FREE night! And, his friend's mom is the best human ever because she is feeding them dinner to boot! FREEEEEDOOOOOM!

We have accomplished exactly 0% of our errands, however. Wm is still violin and cleat-less. We are having company for dinner and a movie tomorrow night, so we will have to eek it in beforehand! Steve is busily building a corn hole set in the basement. The whole house is filled with the sounds of sawing and drilling. He's quite the carpenter down there. Apparently he also has to drive to Plain City to get some kind of special corn hole bean bags. But not tonight - because we are off to some festival in Grandview. Where there are food trucks...you will find me.

One Week Down

We are having a big party next weekend (you should come! everyone should come!) and Steve is not super pleased about it. I think he may hide in the basement with the cat. He's also quite annoyed that I keep inviting every human I run into. I told him he is in charge of the grill and can just stand there and cook meats and not talk to anyone, so he was slightly appeased. But he's still a teeeeensy bit crabby when I invite more people:

Introvert. 

Wm, on the other hand, is THRILLED. He can't wait! Today after school he went home with a friend and had a cat birthday party. Wm loves a good party! And the only thing he loves as much as parties is cats. So imagine his joy at a birthday party for a cat! 

Chocolate birthday cake for the cat!

Wm petting the birthday boy

Wm laughing his ass off

Party animals!

It was a fun end to his first week of school! Wm had a great one! 

In other news, after the music teacher came to his class and demonstrated all the instruments, Wm finally decided on the violin. I signed him up and he's official. At which time I was SO HAPPY he picked the violin. Not only is renting to own a cello twice as expensive, but he would have had to lug it to school twice a week! We have to go get Wm's violin next week so he has it in time for his first Strings class!! 

Steve is also pleased because Wm had his first soccer practice and loved it! A bunch of his friends are on the team and they all had a blast. Steve has to take him to get cleats. So I am in charge of violins and Steve is in charge of cleats. And Wm is full of activities! 

Great Day

Wm had a great first day of school! He came home with big smiles and bubbling with excitement. He says his homeroom/science teacher is SO NICE and his social studies teacher is also nice. He found out that the gifted pull-out Math and Reading classes begin next week, so he's looking forward to that.  He found out that he gets to start Strings next week too! Wm says he wants to play the cello (chip off the old block!) I pushed for the bass, but then worried he may be too tiny. So then I switched to pushing the violin so he could play the bluegrass fiddle! He's not sold and seems stuck on his cello plan. Which is cool, I guess, because I can relive my glory days. It's also really nice to have him just show up at home - I don't have to go pick him up from Clubhouse. Laziness win!

Wm was VERY excited to see the deer family (this time sans dad) in the backyard again! Mommy and 2 tween deer:

Me: OK, buddy, get in bed.

Wm: Friendzoned.

Me: I don't think that means what you think it means.

Wm: I have no idea what it means.

4th Grade!!!

Today was Wm's first day of 4th grade!! He was pretty excited! We went to Meet the Teacher yesterday and got a big packet o' info. Fourth grade is serious business. There is a pretty intense class website and Wm hands in his homework electronically. All the students have laptops for use at school, apparently. Wm's teacher seems really nice! AND, the bonus: every single one of his friends is in his class this year! He is THRILLED. In fact, one of his besties is sitting right next to him! Wm goes, "that won't last long." HA! We aren't exactly sure what's happening, as far as Wm's classes go. He will be in homeroom (which is also Science) for most of the morning, then he goes to Social Studies next door - but he is supposed to also have pull-out gifted classes for Math and Reading. We'll just have to see how that unfolds! The kids change classes as a big group, so all Wm's friends will stay with him. Most will also be in his pull-out gift classes, so he will be surrounded by amigos. 

Wm is getting SO BIG!

Heading out

Walking down, with huge Mommy shadow

Obligatory turtle picture

Wm has ARRIVED

Heading into class!

The stage! A nice view from outside Wm's classroom

Wm's "locker"

Ready to get his learn on!

The Returned

Wm is back from Grandma and Grandpa's!! He had a great trip. He spent a ton of time with his cousin, Andrew. And had all sorts of adventures. 

We stopped at the Lodi outlet mall on the way home and Wm got the "Beanboozled" Jelly Bellies (it is a box of their normal flavors mixed with flavors like boogers, dirty socks, skunk, vomit, moldy cheese, rotten eggs, dog food, etc). Wm is laughing like a psychotic hyena licking them and forcing Steve to eat some. I am refusing to have any part of that action!!

I got one more picture of Wm's summer adventures at Clubhouse:

Ohio Safari!

We also got to see a few pictures of Wm's vacation. I asked him to caption them himself. So, here they are, as captioned by Wm:

I'm playing Spore on my computer with Andrew

Feeding a giraffe lettuce

Andrew and Kangaroo <3

Cute sleeping wallaby 

LLAMAS!

I don't know what to say about this one. It's a bull.

I also sent Wm some pictures while he was gone. He was not a fan of me texting him because it paused his game and messed it up. I was not deterred.

"Schroeder misses you!" (Note: not actually true)

Steve and I tried to have a fun kid-free lunch out on our last day at home without Wm. Buuuut, we tried to go to the North Market in the middle of a GIANT protest against some Republican candidate's speech. While we agreed with the sentiment...we just wanted lunch. I took a picture of the horse police to send to Wm though!

Very threatening. Cops texting and lounging on horses.

And here is Wm telling me to stop texting him.

Wm is now crabbily in his room because no one will eat anymore of his vomit jelly beans. Steve and I are trying to remember that we missed him yesterday...

Empty Nest

We got a few shots of Wm on field trips at Summer Clubhouse!

A metropark 

Butterfly sanctuary 

Wm woke up on Sunday and said he felt fine. His fever was gone and he BEGGED to be able to still go to Grandma and Grandpa's. Steve also wanted to play in his high school's alumni soccer game. I still wasn't feeling up to a trip (why do I always feel way worse than Wm after he infects me with his germs?!?) so Steve and Wm headed up. Steve got to play in his game:

Steve walking towards 40 yard line!

And Wm was already having a blast when Steve left. I miss him already, though - even though he's evil! However, it's nice because I can text him on his iPad and still nag him about stuff! He is hilarious to text. He will abruptly just be like, "BYE." in the middle of a conversation. I texted him this video and told him to listen to the whole thing. His response? "They spelled 'already' wrong."

He also said he's "doing great" and "feeling fine." And also that Steve is a liar. Par for the course.

Then he told me to "hush" when I asked him if he'd showered. Clearly this kid has not had enough beatings because he laughs at me! (He also LOVES the "LOL.")

And then the abrupt sign off. But I got a "love you forever!" So I'll call that a win.

Sicko

I picked Wm up from summer camp yesterday and he told me his "neck and ear hurt." His lymph node in his neck was all swollen and you could actually see it. So, of course, I panicked. He woke up this morning and he was feeling TERRIBLE and we were afraid he may have an ear infection or something. So we took him to urgent care just to be sure. Nothing was infected and after a traumatic strep test (tears and conciliatory popsicle from an awesome nurse were involved) we verified he was also strep-free. The doctor said it was likely a virus and he just needed to rest. With some Motrin in him, Wm feels fine. But, once it wears off, he feels feverish and yucky. He said he feels, "totally fine" right now. I asked if he would let me take a "sick picture" of him:

Sicko.

He's also hilarious...

Me: Hey, Steve, so what did you think about that coat I tried on? It's literally half off right now. It's go time!

Steve: It was OK.

Me: AH! That's it?!? Give me something!

Wm: I liked it!!

Me: You weren't even paying attention, though. You can't be trusted.

Wm: I was too paying attention. I was just in a pissy mood at the time.

Funny Wm Convos

Wm: What is this?
Me: It's a buckeye sammy.
Wm: What did you put on it?
Me: On one piece of bread I put chocolate hazelnut spread and on the other is peanut butter. Then I stuck them together. Buckeye sammy!
Wm: YOU ARE A GENIUS.
-------------------------
Wm: Why do girls have to wipe after they use the bathroom?
Me: Well, boys have a handy dandy little hose. For girls, it's just chaos down there. So they have to wipe to clean stuff up.
Wm: Girls are disgusting.
--------------------------
Wm: I'm thankful I don't have anger issues.
Me: What?
Wm: Fred* at camp has these weird anger fits where he freaks out and screams and throws things and even hits people sometimes. When I get mad, I just go sit in the corner quietly and don't talk to anyone.
Me: And stew.
Wm: Yeah. But at least I don't have anger issues!
--------------------------
Me: Daddy told me you said you are afraid you will get old and then starve to death. What's that about?
Wm: Yeah. What if, when I get older, I don't have any money to buy food and I starve to death?
Me: Why do you think you won't have enough money to even buy food?
Wm: I HAVE NO SKILLS!
Me: What do you mean?
Wm: I'll never get a job! I have no job skills!
Me: YOU'RE NINE.
(The conversation continued, in which I convinced him he will, one day, have job skills and will not starve to death. Totally normal stuff for a nine year old, right?)
---------------------------

They are having their farewell picnic today at Summer Clubhouse. Wm is very sad to see it end! He goes tomorrow to finish up any craft projects and clean out his area. Then, to cheer him up, his bestie is coming over to spend the night. He was invited to Zoombezi Bay with his whole gang of friends, but declined due to fear of death and drowning. Sigh. On Saturday, we head to one of my favorite events: the Food Truck Festival!! YUM! Then, on Sunday, we go up to NE Ohio for Steve to play in an alumni soccer game at his high school and to drop Wm off with Grandma and Grandpa. They are going to hang out with Wm for the week (which is PERFECT since Clubhouse is over and we still have a week and a half before school starts!) Lots of fun stuff before the dreaded First Day of School!

Nature's Majesty

As we are eating breakfast this morning, Steve started whisper freaking out. Turns out, a horn-ed deer was just hanging out in our backyard, steps away from the back door!! So, of course, we stood there watching him for a long time (Steve saying under his breath, "please don't eat my lilac bushes, deer!") We wondered where the mommy and baby deer were that sometimes sleep in the way back part of our yard. Super cool!!!

Steve has his car back and all is well. Turns out the battery was dead-dead and he needed a whole new one. The evil dealership, despite being mean and rude to him, ended up shuttling him to and from work, so that was good. And it was all covered by warranty. Steve was not pleased at all, but he actually handled it like a champ and was not grumpy or freaking out (too much). 

Wm used the time that all of this drama was unfolding to have unsupervised screen time. In which he watched an hour's worth of fairly inappropriate YouTube videos. Steve periodically checks his viewing history and last night he was like, "WHAAAAAAT?!" So this morning at breakfast (after the deer), we had to institute some new YouTube/Internet-viewing rules. Wm didn't really seem to care all that much since he's still allowed to watch the Minecraft and other gamer videos he subscribes to. And I told him he can watch all the kitten videos he wants (he loves those things). But he has to check on any other videos before viewing them and then watch them WITH Steve or I. He said that sounded fair and all is well. 

This is Wm's last week at Clubhouse! Thanks to Mimi, he has a dresser full of school clothes ready to go! And a new soft robe that he the most excited about. He loves that robe. I guess Wm is into leisure wear. He is the Hugh Hefner of 4th grade.

Crazy times!

We had a bit of a crazy weekend that has bled into a crazy Monday! It started off well enough, with Wm heading over to a friend's house for a sleepover. AND, it was the very first time he has walked anywhere (other than home from school, just up the street) sans an adult! He and his friends just walked over to their house (a couple blocks, crossing 2 streets!!!!) all alone. I was nervous, but had to act like it was all no big deal, because Wm is a weirdo and he was more nervous than I was! He goes, "I'm not sure I'm ready for this…" Haha! But, he arrived safely and his friend's mom texted me right away that they were there, so there was no waiting and worrying. Whew!

Big Kid Walking!

But then we woke up on Saturday to discover the city had shut off our water with no notice so they could work on the lines. We were having friends over for dinner and had a dishwasher full of dirty dishes and nothing to cook with! We were getting nervous as 2pm rolled around and it still wasn't back on!! Luckily, just before 3pm, they turned it back on and we were just putting the finishing touches on things when the doorbell rang a couple hours later - so it all worked out! And we had a really nice dinner with friends (and prepared an all vegan meal!)

Steve called me at 8am this morning and said his (NEW!) car was dead and he called for a jump. He called back a while later to say that it turned out something was actually wrong with the car and he had to have it towed to the dealership. So I had to drive home, collect Wm, take him to Clubhouse, and go back to work. Steve just got to the dealership and apparently they are being incredibly rude and telling him they aren't even sure if they can get to it today! So poor Steve is trapped there, without a car, and isn't sure when he will have a car again. And no one there is being helpful. He is ignoring my texts, which is either a good sign (he is in the process of being given a rental car and driving to work) or a bad sign (who knows what disaster is unfolding). 

Hopefully the rest of the week is much less eventful!

The North

We have an action packed weekend coming up! Steve and I will be preparing a completely vegan meal for friends. It's both easier and harder than I thought. Easier in that tweaking how we usually cook some things will make it vegan with little effort; harder in that I kept saying things like, "I could make breakfast for dinner with all sorts of things!! Waffles, eggs, sausage. Oh, right - no sausage. WAIT. I have chicken sausage! Nope. Chicken is an animal. Oh…and the eggs are out too, I guess. Brinner is not happening." So I'm making spaghetti (with mushrooms, not meatballs and leaving out the parmesan) garlic bread (Earth Balance instead of butter), salad, and a vegan chocolate mousse (Steve is in charge of dessert). Animals: fun to pet, better to chew - Jim Gaffigan.

Mimi is also taking Wm on his annual school shopping trip. I am hoping he is more flexible than at his summer shopping trip where he had very firm ideas on what he was wearing! I'm still working on that bow tie. So far, he's not having it. I got him a really nice winter coat a size too big and told him to take extra good care of it and he can wear it for two years, as long a he doesn't grow too much and he goes, "well, we know that's not happening."

Wm has been working on his accent from the North (of England). At first, I was like, "are you doing a Scottish accent now?" But then, upon further listening, it was just a regional English accent. Pretty soon Wm will be able to travel all around England and blend right in!

Personality

I had a retreat at work yesterday (expertly coordinated by Suzanne!) Part of the day we focused on StrengthsQuest (you take a test and it gives you SUPER individual results about what your strengths are). I was telling Steve and Wm at breakfast today about how I, at first, assumed it was like Myers-Briggs (the personality test with the same 8 codes for everyone). But then, at the retreat, I noticed that even those of us that got one of the same codes had totally different explanations about how it applied to us. So each thing is totally individual. Pretty fancy!! Wm asked what Myers-Briggs was so I was explaining and started with Extrovert-Introvert (ENFJ for the win!) After my explanation…

Me: So what do you think Daddy is?
Wm: I don't know. Extrovert?
Steve: Introvert!
Me: Remember, introverts are kind of quiet, a little shy. Extroverts are loud and talk a lot. What do you think you are?
Wm: INTROVERT.
Me: Ha! You take after your dad. What do you think I am?
Wm: DEFINITELY extrovert!!! You are like "ba ba ba ba ba baaaaaa" all the time. [making yapping hand motion]

I spend my life trying to get someone in my family to talk to me. Forever ignored!!!!

Next week is Wm's last week of Summer Clubhouse!! We are all very sad. :(  No one is ready for school to start! He went to COSI on Monday, a metro park yesterday, and is off to Graeter's today. He loves it! He asked when he will "age out of Clubhouse." Killed me!

HA!

Part III: The Conclusion

The final phase of our vacation was a trip to the Ohio State Fair. Wm was like, "This is the fair for the whole state? We are so lucky to live this close!" Wm loves the fair!!

Tractor ride into the fairgrounds with sun in his eyes

Wm's favorite thing to do is play the games. We told him he can't play any where the prize is alive this year (since his fish from last year are still alive...and now HUGE). This year they had hermit crabs and iguanas. NOPE. He managed to win 3 stuffed animals, though! The only ride Wm likes is the Big Slide, so, of course, he did that. But, basically, after he has played his budget in games and has eaten his fill of horrible fair foods, he's ready to hit it.

PIZZA!

Swirl cone! And stuffed animal win to the side.

Wm passed up elephant ears, funnel cakes, deep fried everything, cotton candy, saltwater taffy - and, instead, opted for a soft serve ice cream cone. That he didn't finish. He's clearly not related to me. Steve and I, obviously, did a much better job. We got deep fried buckeyes and took that business DOWN. 

We missed the pig races, which I was super bummed about. We did see ponies and camels being tortured with small children on their backs. Wm was horrified. He was like, "look at their eyes!" However, Wm has a strange disdain for pigs and is all, "pepperoni is good - I don't care about pigs." For some reason, this bothers me and I have been on a campaign to convince him that pigs are awesome. I don't even like pigs. But the fact that they are the lone animal Wm doesn't give a crap about irks me. Poor pigs. Nothing at the fair convinced him otherwise. He remains unmoved by the plight of our porcine brothers.

Sky ride back to the entrance/exit

Sleepy boys ready to head home!

We are spending this weekend resting up after our non-restful vacation. Steve was all, "what do you want to do this weekend?" And was disappointed when I said, "rest." Steve does not know the meaning of the word and is working his butt off in the backyard chopping wood and other such manly pursuits. Meanwhile, I am watching Netflix and reading and Wm is quietly playing with Legos in his room. To his credit, he periodically goes outside and "helps" Steve with yard work (but then he "gets hot and tired" and has to come back in for a bit).

Back to work on Monday! Wm is actually looking forward to returning to Clubhouse - he misses his friends!