Turtle

Wm was very sad because his school has always had a big turtle out front, but since they finished the construction, the turtle was missing. But, just this week...the turtle showed up!  Wm wanted to go climb all over it with some friends after school.  It was super adorable.

Lotto

Steve bought a lottery ticket today.  At dinner, he asked what the first thing I'd buy would be if we won.  I said I had no idea at all.  I said I would like to buy an awesome cottage someplace where I could have a goat.
Wm: You don't want a goat.  It will butt you in the butt and you will fly through the air.  I saw it.  It's real.  That's what they do. [pause] I would buy the Death Star.
Steve: The Death Star.  Nice. Anyway, where would you like to have this cottage?
Me: I don't know - I picture it in the French countryside.  But I don't want to learn to speak French. I guess I could hire a full time translator to just follow me around and tell me what everyone is saying.
Steve: I'd want to live someplace warm.
Me: Maybe I would buy a first class plane ticket to Scotland and enough drugs to keep me unconscious the whole flight.
Steve: Not the Caribbean.  I don't want to deal with hurricanes.
Wm: I would build my house in China.  That's where they make everything.
[pause]
Steve: I'd buy a Porsche.

Healthy(ish)

Wm's stomach yucks tore through the family like Sherman through Georgia.  For Steve and I, it was just horrible nausea.  We are both feeling mostly better, but weird waves of nausea still hit us both.  Wm's tummy has been better for a few days, but he got a monster cough Tuesday that sounded like TB.  Thankfully, neither Steve nor I got that one! And, he seems better this morning.  So everyone is back at work and school.

Despite all the many ailments circulating around our house, we had a great Thanksgiving!!  We went up to NE Ohio and Mimi and Guy came along.  It was a really good time and we all had a blast!  The food was amazing and the company was great.  We did lots of driving so Sicklypants could sleep in his own bed, but we got to do it in the new wheels and were home before 10PM, so it wasn't bad.  And totally worth it! It ended up being good, anyway, since I spent Thursday night camped in front of the potty.  Fun times.

I did manage to make Wm a homemade body butter with shea butter, cocoa butter, coconut oil, and jojoba oil.  It turned out great!!  And, it is keeping Wm's eczema totally under control.  I will beat it this winter!

The Irritable Bowels of Wm

Poor Wm has been having tummy trouble since Friday.  He kept saying his tummy hurt, was hardly eating, but otherwise seemed OK.  He was acting normal, playing, and didn't seem to be sick.  But then the Terrible, Awful, Very Bad Bowel of Wm rebelled.  Since Wm finds diarrhea HILARIOUS, he sits in the bathroom, sick, like it's a comedy show.  You'll hear horrible sounds emerge and then a pause, and then uproarious laughter.  Wm is the only kid I know who yucks it up through a tummy bug.

He insisted that he was OK to go to school yesterday, so he went.  But when I picked him up, his lunch was totally untouched and when I asked if he REALLY felt better, he said that his tummy did, in fact, still hurt.  He woke up this morning insisting he felt better and could go to school, but then went into the bathroom - and based on what I heard in there, I came right downstairs and called him off.  I am FORCING him to sit on the couch and watch cartoons all day. He keeps trying to get up and bounce all around, but I am vigilant! (He even asked if he could clean his room!  That's desperation.) I will keep that kid down if it kills me.  It's actually annoying to have a kid who will lie about his health status so he can go to school.  It makes it hard to determine if/when he is actually too sick to go.  But, he is currently watching Ninjago cartoons and playing online chess.  So, he's having a grand time.

Happy

Steve was quietly watching TV on the couch next to me when I flicked his earlobe with all my might in a malicious and unprovoked manner.

Steve: REALLY?

Me: I'm sorry!!! But I have PMS and it makes me happy to bother you.

Steve: You must be happy ALL the time.

Poet

Wm had to do an acrostic poem for homework tonight.  ("Acrostic poem" is a fancy way of saying 'take someone's name and write a descriptive word with each letter.'") He was goes, "what should I do?"  I say, "You should do Cory!  Here...C is for 'cool,' O is for 'ornery,' R is for 'rad,' and Y is for-" at which point Wm interrupted me and yells, "YAPPY!" And the crowd (Steve) loved it.

So then I said I would do one for Steve and when I got to N, Wm yelled, "NEGATIVE!" Wm is hitting on all cylinders tonight!

El Presidente

Wm really liked the presidential election and decided to have a family election.  Mostly through voter fraud and intimidation, I was voted Family President. Wm wrote a Family Constitution and one stipulation was that the term limit was 4 days and then a new president would be elected.  I did not like that plan, so I led a military coup and became the Family Dictator.  Wm was appointed Generalissimo.  He took it seriously and got a helmet and laser gun to keep the "peasant" in line (Steve = the peasant).  

The family is now controlled by a military junta.  Namely, William and I.  But, honestly, the junta is having a really hard time keeping the peasant in line.  He keeps trying to rebel and is, overall, something of a dissident.  For instance, he has already refused the first law we enacted: unlimited and on-demand foot rubs of El Presidente. I may sentence him to hard labor in the yard (see: raking).

Conference

We had Wm's parent/teacher conference last night and it was definitely a change of pace!!!  Not one word was said about his behavior.  So after the teacher goes over all his academic stuff, and was just all, "OK - bye!" Steve and I were like, "ummmm...so everything is just good, you don't want to yell at us at all?" She said Wm is a "kind and generous member of their classroom community."  She did say she noticed his need for movement, but it doesn't bother her and she knows he's always paying attention.  So she just lets him do his thing.  SCORE!!!!  No wonder Wm LOVES her and is having the best year ever!

Great Day!

Wm had a GREAT day! He got his school pictures - in which he looks super cute:

And he got his first 1st grade report card.  Which was SUPER!  We are used to kindergarten report cards filled with nastiness about his "wiggles." But this one was 100% positive.  Wm is already more than halfway through the first grade reading levels, his literacy is "advanced" and he is far ahead in Math.  That is all relatively typical of Willie Report.  But, what is different is that all his "social grades" are either S or E (satisfactory or excellent).  No "improvement needed" or "unsatisfactory" at all!!! We are taking His Cuteness out to dinner to celebrate!

Perseverance

Wm was sitting quietly at the table eating a snack.  I was in the kitchen cooking dinner.  I decided to sneak up on him and try to scare the bejesus out of him.  So I started creeping up all stealth-like.  Wm spotted me and goes, "I SEE YOU!"  I ran back into the kitchen, waited a few minutes, then tried again.  Wm again screamed, "I SEE YOU!"  Dejected, I went back into the kitchen and just gave up.  A couple minutes later, Wm walked in, patted me on the arm and goes, "Don't give up! You have to have perseverance, Mommy."

Green

We were headed out today and Wm put on his green fleece jacket, green gloves, and green striped hat and then says, "check me out...I'm goin' green!"

Hoops

Wm has decided he wants to play basketball and is all signed up for the session that starts after Thanksgiving!  Well, really, when we first asked if he wanted to play, he said "NO!"  But then his friend asked if he would play and be on his team, so then Wm decided that was a grand plan and is now all in.  Captain Tinypants should be fun to watch. Wm luuuuurves his friend.  He woke up this morning, got out of bed, came into my room, shook me awake and goes, "Can N come over?"  I was like, "Dude - it's 7:30. I'm not calling his house until at least 10AM."  So then at 15 minute intervals until 10AM, Wm would ask, "is it time yet?"  Finally, at 10, I called.  No answer.  Then, the question became, "has N's dad called you back yet?"  After that, we set up the playdate for 1PM.  As would be expected: "is it 1PM yet?" despite the fact he is perfectly capable of looking at the clock. At 12:50, Wm went out and sat on the porch to keep watch.  When N rolled up at 1:04, Wm was beside himself over this 4 minute tardiness.  Wm has created a playdate agenda that includes Skylanders, Lego-building, and the playground.  I told N's dad we would return him once they had gotten through the agenda in its entirety.

Meanwhile, Steve is at work all weekend.  Which sucks for him.  Wm and I slept in, snuggled in the warm bed, had slabs of bread with chocolate hazelnut spread (Nutella-like, but all natural and dairy free) for breakfast, went to Graffiti Burger for lunch.  Poor Steve.

Wm is impressing me what he's learning in math!  Today at lunch he informed me that some angle was obtuse.  When I asked if he knew what that meant, he goes, "of course...an angle that is greater than 90 degrees - but a right angle is exactly 90 degrees."  I go, "well, you are a-CUTE angle."  Wm sighs and goes, "Mommy...an acute angle is less than 90 degrees."