Cat Appreciation Day

Apparently yesterday was National Cat Appreciation Day and I missed it. I don't want to leave them out. So here:

Best Video Ever

One of the weird things about Wm's school being, basically, in an OSU office building is that there are no lockers. So the kids have to carry everything around with them all day. Wm was struggling with 2 different bags (a backpack and shoulder bag) through the school day and then while walking to my office. We noticed a bunch of kids just used giant wheelie bags and thought that was genius! So, Wm has replaced his backpack with this:

Wheeled to my office!

Wm is in love with it! He says it's so much easier - and has a million pockets for organizing. It's pretty cute how much he loves it. He showed it off to one of my coworkers and she told me later that she has never in her life been as enthusiastic about anything as Wm is about his wheelie bag. Ha!

We are getting dinner from a strange restaurant right near our house that has sandwiches, bagels, and other deli food. As well as sushi. And standard Chinese fare. 

Steve: What do you want?

Me: Tofu pad thai. But also, a side of fries. OH! And strawberry bubble tea!

Steve: You disgust me. 

Wm, meanwhile, is getting grilled cheese. And Steve is getting General Tso's Chicken. It's a weird place.

And, the best for last. I tried to take a video of Flip making his "nest." He scratches all around and turns in circles before he lays down. BUT, Steve had no idea I was recording and provided, pretty much, the BEST soundtrack ever. And then, at the end, still didn't know he was being recorded. This is The Real Steve...and it is AWESOME. Turn the volume up and ENJOY:

Pit Bull Appreciation Day (A Flip-tastic Post)

It's National Pit Bull Appreciation Day! I won't bore you with all the stats, but because of their bad rep, pitties make up the vast majority of dogs in shelters (and are vastly more likely to need rescuing because of dog fighting and over-breeding) and are much less likely to BE adopted - so they make up 40% of all dogs euthanized. And, just for the record, 1 in 17,000 pit bulls has bitten someone, while 1 in 17 collies has. They also score higher on the temperament test than Golden Retrievers.

Hats off to our super amazing pittie mix!! He has brought love and laughter and joy into our house and we can't imagine our family without him! (Although, Steve would like to imagine our house without the dirt he has brought into it!)

Sadly, we can't fit Jack Lelanne's barrel chest into his size large Halloween costume. The strap doesn't go around all his muscles and digs into him. So this will be the only shot of him as Panda Dog:

10 minutest later, that stuffy was destroyed

Flip is also a genius who can tell time. He knows that he goes to the park every night at 7pm. If Steve is late getting himself in gear, Flip sits like this (looking like the saddest sack ever), until Steve is ready to go:

Sadly, there may be fewer trips to the park. Canine influenza is everywhere and we are supposed to stay away from other dogs. Vets are even seeing dogs with symptoms in the parking lot!  

I need to make a new video of Flip's fancy tricks. I can put a treat in front of him and he will sit there and drool until I say, "All done!" Best. Dog. Ever.

Wm is now the proud owner of a winter coat and Halloween costume himself. BUT, no spoilers, you have to wait until actual Halloween to see Wm's!! I do have a cute picture of him and his fancy new backpack that he is all excited about, but I will save it for William Appreciation Day.

Cornelius Peppercorn

I have been pretty bummed recently. It occurred to me a couple weeks ago that I TOTALLY should have named Flip "Cornelius Peppercorn." What a sad, sad loss. Steve said it's too late and I can't change his name. Because every party has a pooper. So, at least, I have named him Flip Peppercorn. But, I'm still coming to terms with it. Flip, for his part, gives zero figs. BUT, he does look dashing in his new sweater!! I took him for a walk yesterday and his sweater brought all the girls to the yard. One little girl became quite enamored with Flip and cried when her mom made her leave. I let her feed him a treat and she giggled when he nuzzled and licked her hand, so that made her feel better! Flip loves kiddos - and is quite the gentleman about town:

Note the insanely wagging tail - WALKIES!

Very annoyed I am delaying his walk for photo time

Handy cut-out for the leash, even!

I plan to order a bunch more cold weather outfits for Flip. And a Halloween costume!! Steve thinks some bat wings would be perfect. I like it. I think we are going to make this happen! But, Steve says I am not allowed to get dog boots for his cold tootsies. Again...poooper. I will settle for a number of jazzy sweaters and, hopefully, some pajamas. He doesn't have much hair...he could catch a chill!

Please...put a sweater on me!

I guess I also need to get a winter coat for my kid. But, that's not as fun. Said kid was very angry yesterday because I told him to wear a coat. He refused. Then, he was cold. Which was, OBVIOUSLY, my fault. But, he got a 103% on his Regions Unit 1 test, so he's feeling very full of himself. He also had a police officer come to the school and talk about internet safety with the kids. So he keeps telling me not to do things online. One thing I'm not supposed to do? Send naked pictures of myself to other people. Good thing Wm told me that...as it was my main weekend plan. Wm was like, "WHY would anyone even DO that?!?" We have, apparently, not entered into that realm of The Hormone Zone yet. Thank god.

Tooth

Wm lost another tooth! He has jack'o lantern face again! If you look closely, you can even see the blood from his escapades:

 

I saw Flip had something and was trying to eat it all weird-like. So I ran over and pried his mouth open. Inside? Wm's tooth. Gross.

Wm had a grand time with his friend last weekend! He is already angling to invite another friend over this weekend! 

I was BA and fired out cleaning lady. I got home and the door was unlocked and the beds were not even made! You're fired. It's easier with Flip, anyway. I had to send him to doggie daycare now that he's out of the crate. And he refused to go to the bathroom all day. So when I got there,  he was in agony. He is very weird about his potty-ing. But, that is good news for us, because he's weird about only going in his designated areas. I think his bladder would burst before he'd pee in the house!  If only he didn't love to eat baskets and pillows so much!!

Wm and I were talking about starving people in the world (they are doing a canned food drive at school). 

Wm: They should send this food to Africa.

Me: There are starving people everywhere, Wm.

Wm: There are MORE starving people in Africa.

Me: The world makes enough food for everyone. There are starving people in Africa because of wars and evil warlords that horde the food and starve out the people for their own purposes. And there are starving people everywhere because of poverty and lack of social services and safety nets. Think of how much food you waste. You waste enough food to feed a whole other family. These are all issues, man. It's not a simple thing.

Wm: Wait. What is a warlord? That sounds awesome.

Me: That's your takeaway?

Wm: I want to be a warlord when I grow up.

Me: Well, in Trump's post-apocalyptic hellscape, you may get the chance. I dare you to write "Warlord" the next time you fill out one of those things at school about what you want to be when you grow up.

Wm: YES.

Social Butterfly

I  am super proud of Wm! Despite his social awkwardness and shyness, he has just initiated and planned his first middle school "hang out" (NOT a play date) with a new friend. Said new friend is coming over tomorrow afternoon. Wm is soooo excited!! Wm actually goes to the playground almost every night and plays that semi-lethal game of Marco Polo with all the kids in the neighborhood, and he's made a ton of friends at school - but this is the first time a new at-school friend is hanging out outside of school!

I am in the process of planning Wm's Medical Detectives class field trip to my office. I have the awesome professor who teaches all our lab classes on board and she is PUMPED. She loves doing lab demos. Thank god. I just get to stand in the back and be like, "yeah! What she said!"

And, FINALLY, we have finished animal-proofing our house. The last step was getting a new, leather couch that those assholes (hopefully!) will have a harder time destroying. I went for mid-century modern:

Wm hated it in the store and was very grumpy. But, now that's it's here, he's decided it's the bees knees. If nothing else, now I can wipe off any gross kid or animal butt germs. Woooot!! And the cats seem disinclined from scratching at leather. So it's a win-win!

And, yesterday, Wm randomly said this...
Wm: I'm really glad you and Pop are my parents.
Me: Well, I'm glad to hear that! What made you think of that?
Wm: I was just thinking, when I broke the computer, you and Pop didn't even yell at me. I don't think very many parents would do that.
Me: People are more important than things, Wm. [pause] But, you know, it wouldn't kill you to be more careful. Just sayin'.

Mimi So Old

Wm has created an intro video to his YouTube channel. It's pretty much the cutest thing ever:



Yesterday, Mimi went to Wm's school to talk about being suuuuuper old. Kidding. Kind of. Wm's school is doing a design project called "Future City." This year's challenge, with the aging Baby Boomers, is to create an age-friendly city. They will design and build their model city out of recyclables. Mimi went in to answer questions about aging. Because she is soooooo old. ;-) Wm gave her a big hug and was super proud to have his grandma be there, as an expert. When I was in school, Mimi came in as a child abuse expert and talked to the class. I think the future city was probably more fun!

I have also discovered, via the FlipCam, that not only does Flip pretty much sleep ALL day, but he never barks at anyone when we're not home. He just calmly looks out the window or snoozes. I was confused at first - but then, I realized, he is protecting us! When we are home, he barks at all perceived threats. But, when we are not home, he stands down. I was happy a first, but then I realized...what is the point of having a "vicious" pit bull dog if he doesn't scare people away?? Burglars could probably come in and he'd just keep sleeping!! We have a new mail carrier and she's scared to even come on our porch.  I should just tell her to come when we are not home - he won't even notice she's there!

Also, this made Wm laugh REALLY hard (especially as a cat person, himself!) If you haven't watched Parks & Rec (available on Netflix!), don't even talk to me until you have.

Nanny Cam

After Featherpacolypse, Steve got a Nanny Cam so he can keep an eye on Flip. I decided that maybe he didn't like the cave, so I made him a place on the bench. That seems to be going over much better. This was how he spent a good deal of the weekend:

Snoozing

Then, I have checked on his a few times this morning, via the FlipCam (as Steve calls it). He hasn't moved. I guess he did get up one time to yawn and look out the window. But, this is how Flip has spent his entire morning (ignoring all the enticing toys I scattered about the floor!):

FlipCam!

But, my most favoritest thing Flip does is when he lays his head on my lap and goes to sleep. Everyone knows that we cannot be disturbed during our special snuggle time.

At 8pm last night, Steve decided he wanted to make donuts. With caramel sauce. To be eaten as a side dish with his ice cream. After a trip to the store for supplies, by 9:30, these babies came out of the hot oil:

Did I mention that Steve weights the same thing now as he did when he was 20? BUT - I told him he's skinny fat. This is probably why he has high cholesterol! HA!

Wm took his Genetics final on Friday - then spent the entire weekend checking to see if his score was in. He said, "I'm really stressed out about my Genetics grade." I told him to cool out. But, he was relentless. He was like, "I AM GOING TO EMAIL THE TEACHER!" Finally, it posted this morning. He mastered it. Wm is done with Genetics, earning himself a big, fat A!

Feathers! Dancing! Oh My!

I may wish death upon Luna, but she's pretty cute. Here she is being my snuggle buddy:

And here she is being super cute with Flip (who is too tired to care):

Wm went to his first school dance last night. And, he has a BLAST!! He didn't do much dancing. But there were games and pizza and fun times with his friends. Here he is on his way (since the kids have to dress up for school, dances are a chance to wear jeans and tshirts and sneaks to school, so he's very cas):

Dancing machine!

Flip has been out of his cate with great success the last 2 weeks. So, we finally decided it was OK to remove said crate and create an entrance bench/dog cave. I was very happy with how it turned out:

Flip, apparently, was not. I came home from work to this:

Feather Apocalypse 

I'm not sure if it was the change or what, but Flip went bonkers. It took FOREVER to clean up all those feathers. Hopefully, he's gotten it out of his system!! Unbeknownst to me, Wm took a video of the discovery. His giggles and pan around to himself at the end are hilarious (even though he captured my evil temper tantrum):

Animal Murder

Schroeder: [to Flip] HISSSSSSSSS!!!!
Flip: [to Shroeder] BARK! BARK! BARK!
Steve: What would you do if Flip psychotically murdered the cats?
Me: Well, first, I'd be really happy that Luna was dead.
Steve: Totally.
Me: Then, I'd be really sad because, obviously, we'd have to put down a murderous dog.
Steve: Then we'd have no animals.
Me: Don't get any ideas.
Steve: What do you mean?
Me: You're probably planning to murder the cats and frame Flip now so you can live your glorious animal-free existence.
Steve: Yesssss...

Wm on taking a Genetics test:
"I wasn't sure about some of the written answers. So I just wrote A LOT. I hoped that it would overwhelm and confuse Ms. Reeves."

Loud

I picked Wm up for the party (which turned out to be 10 girls and Wm) and we had this conversation on the way home...
Me: How was it?
Wm: Girls are LOUD.
Me: Really? Louder than boys?
Wm: YES. All they do is scream and shriek.
Me: Haha! What did you do?
Wm: I hid in the closet until they promised to stop screaming. Once I came out, they stopped for 5 minutes. Then, they started again.

Wm was back in the closet when I got there to pick him up.

But, then, he spent his entire evening texting The Birthday Girl. It was adorable. They are engaging in the light flirtations of middle school. I asked if he "liked" her, even a tiny bit, and he goes, "NO!" But, that didn't stop him from texting her like a maniac all night! But, he's still young enough that he shows me all the texts in order to display how hilarious and witty he is via text. It's pretty much the cutest thing ever. Here he is texting like a madman and having a ball:

Flirt

Wm also sent me this video (that was texted to him post-party). It displays the noise level and also Wm's prowess:



And, thus, Wm enters into the other arena of The Hormone Zone.

I may be on to something. I told Wm at dinner that he had to practice his violin that evening. Without any reminders, he showed up downstairs a half hour later with his violin in hand. I was said, "Wow. Dude, seriously, that is awesome. I am so so so happy. I didn't have to nag you at all. I AM PROUD OF YOU. THANK YOU. Thank you so much for doing what I asked without a whole scene. Seriously. Wow. You are the best." Over the top? Maybe. But...effective. When he was done, I go, "Oh, is your bed made yet?" And he goes, "Not yet. I'll go do that right now!" And, HE DID. He was flying high on the effusive praise. Typical millennial. 

Girls!

Wm is getting ready to go to his first co-ed birthday party! Steve and I are getting ready to have a Wm-less afternoon. Woohoo!

In animal news, Flip is back to his old self! He's way more playful and happy - Steve and I have both noticed. AND, his dog poos are GREAT! So, I think it was the food. Luckily, I found a very similar food to the expensive one he is currently eating at Costco for, basically, the same price as his last one. So, it's a wash!!

Food unites foes

This month has been momentous because we have paid off both my car and Wm's violin! I celebrated by dragging Suzanne to the cool shops along High Street and buying this little green number I've had my eye on for weeks:

Best. Chair. Ever.

Luna (The Bitch) scratched the hell out of the other chairs I had there. We can have nothing in our house that is not made of wood or leather now. I hate that cat with the fire of a thousand suns. Sadly, Wm freakishly loves her. So, we're stuck with her. But...if she "accidentally" got out one day and we couldn't find her, I wouldn't be sad. She has also scratched a hole in our couch. And gnaws all my plants. And steals food left attended on the table. I told Steve I need to figure out what those plants are that are poisonous to cats and get some. Problem solved.

Flip, meanwhile, got his stuffy to destroy before Steve sweeps. It's his favorite part of the week.

I'm off to deliver Wm to Girl Party Central!

Hipsters

One more thing: we're super hip!
(But only us. Not the people in the part of "Clintonville" that everyone knows isn't Clintonville, but they try to pretend like it is because they want to be cool. Where are your man-buns and supertight jorts, 43214? YA BURNT. Favorite comment on the article: "I live just on the hip side of the 43202/43214 line, and sometimes the stench of unhipness comes wafting across the property line. I’ve tried calling 311, but the city just doesn’t seem to care.")

First Conference

We had Wm's first middle school conference yesterday. It was great!! Wm's math teacher said he is GREAT. He said Wm always volunteers in class, works really well with the other kids, and is doing great! He said he is going to recommend that Wm move on to Algebra I next semester. He told a funny story about when they were doing group work. The class is all 8th grade, except for Wm and 2 7th graders - so Wm's team was two 8th grade girls and him. I guess he went to the bathroom and the girls were like, "WHERE IS WILLIAM! WE NEED HELP!" The teacher said about 10 times, "you should be so proud of Wm." We definitely are!!

We also chatted with his Genetics teacher. She had all good things to say as well! Wm is actually wrapping that class up. He only has 2 weeks left. Then, he moves on to Medical Detectives. In that class, he gets to dissect sheep brains! Wm is not excited about that. But, I have arranged for them to take a field trip to my office and do cool stuff in our labs (like break chicken bones and ultrasound themselves!) Genetics is definitely his hardest class. The teacher has high expectations and Wm is the only kid in there not in the 8th grade. But, the teacher said she expects him to get an A and pass along to Medical Detectives without any problems!

We didn't need to meet with Wm's other teachers. In Regions of the World he has a 101% and is, basically, able to teach that class. And, in Short Stories, Plays & Poems, he has a 99% and is rocking out. So they said we don't even need to meet.

We celebrated with empanadas!

In more good news, Flip seems to be doing better! Steve keeps cautioning me that it's only been 24 hours on his new food. BUT, just in those 24 hours, he's more playful and has had a totally normal dog poo. He NEVER has normal poos! So, I am cautiously optimistic!

Poor Steve was exhausted this morning. Thanks to a sale and a rebate, we got a Nest thermostat for $19!

Apparently installation wasn't as easy as Steve hoped and he was up until all to all hours working on it. But, as of this morning, it appears to be working!! It's a good time to do this, because we don't need heat/AC right now. So Steve can tinker away!

Ladies Man

A girl at school has taken to texting and emailing Wm on the reg. Now, he has been invited to her birthday party! Wm's first opposite sex birthday party invite. I had absolutely no idea what to get a 12 year old girl for her birthday, so I had to ask a friend who was in possession of such a creature. Turns out...basically the same thing I'd get a boy: The Ubiquitous and Ever-Easy iTunes Gift Card!! Done and done.

When I asked Wm if he thought she could have a little crush on him, he goes, "NO!" Then refused to talk to me anymore. We've entered The Hormone Zone.

This is, in fact, the hardest age since infancy. 7-10 were golden years, man!! But now we're in this weird middle part. He's still a kid in most ways. He still goes, "Mum...mum...mum...MUM!" until I say, "WHAT?!?" even though we are the only 2 people in the room. I know you're talking to me, man. JUST SAY IT. He still makes pillow forts and then refuses to clean anything up. He still allows snuggling and hugs and tells us when he's feeling scared or unsure. BUT, there are evil teen things showing up now. Snarky tones. Testing boundaries. Saying simply "no" when asked to do things. So, he'll destroy my house with a pillow fort, but then roll his eyes and huff around when I ask him to clean it up before bed and then go, "GAWD!" But, we shall survive! I told Steve that I am pretty much OK with staying in our current house...but the times I doubt I can live in such close quarters are when I must escape The Hormone Zone. And there's nowhere to run!! Does high school get better? Someone reassure me! I think it's the combo of still needing to do/deal with kid things while starting to deal with teen things ALL AT THE SAME TIME. That's the worst.

In other fun news, we have been talking about nothing but dog poop since poor Flip has been having bowel issues. Thankfully, Flip would rather die that go in the house. But he woke me up at 1am the other night to go outside and be all sick. I think I have actually pinpointed the problem: chicken. Sadly, most dog foods are chicken-based. So I spent a billion dollars having a fancy bison-based dog food delivered. Hopefully that helps!! (He is already on a dog probiotic with limited success!) But, the nice thing is, Flip never gives me attitude. If I go, "what did you do?" He looks HELLA GUILTY for HOURS. In fact, even if Luna gets in trouble (OFTEN), Flip looks insanely guilty and goes and hides under the bed. As if he was like, "I should have stopped her...this is all my fault..." Take lessons, Evil Tween.