Steve Strikes Again

I forgot - I realized today that it has been nearly 17 years since Steve and I started dating.  I was 18 years old when we met, so I have more memories with Steve than without.  And yet, he still said this to me today...

Me: [imitating how people in old timey photos looked]
Steve: How about this? [also gives it a try]
Me: Gads, you look like a serial killer.  Less sociopath, more...just bored.  What does your face look like when you're bored?
Steve: I don't know...what does it look like whenever you're talking?

YEAH.  He was all proud of himself for his uberZing.

Hedgehog

A student brought their pet hedgehog in to visit earlier this week at work!  It was crazy!  One of its quills fell out (I guess it sheds them regularly) and I got to bring it home for Wm.  He loved it.  He had all sorts of hedgehog questions.

The student named him Bruce Quillis

Wm built a super awesome guy out of legos.  He worked diligently on him all afternoon and I was super impressed!

Side view

When I picked Wm up from school today, he looked all big and grown up.  I had to take a picture to show how big and adorable he is!!  (He also got some new kicks that his dad is in love with - Adidas, of course.  In his new big kid size!)

Almost 7 - so big!!!

Wm gave me his demon cold, so I have felt like poo all week.  Steve weirdly avoided it...as usual. Steve is Sir Pukesalot, but he manages to bypass most colds.  It's also nice that he never gets them because then he becomes my tea maker, tissue fetcher, Wm entertainer, and DVD picker upper.  Then, when he gets one of his creepy stomach bugs, he mostly wants to be left alone (I just have to keep him supplied with saltines and ginger ale).

Steve works all weekend again.  Ugh.  I don't know how he does it.  And next weekend is Wm's Big Party!!

Go Away

Wm and I are home alone this weekend while Steve slaves at work.  He had to get up at 5AM yesterday...on a Saturday.  I would quit my job.  Steve is a trooper, though, and even took Wm to Target when he got home in the evening to pick out goodies for Wm's birthday party treat bags. (Steve is an ace at feeling up the Lego mystery guy bags and figuring out who is in there - he had to get 6 of them yesterday to Wm's specifications.  Awesome dad.) It also freed me up to go grocery shopping sans Tiny Evil!

And poor Wm has a megacold.  It didn't stop him for going to his swim lesson and knocking it out!!  He is working on floating on his back now - even getting his head in the water!

Wm was playing next to me as I wrestled around with the computer.  This strange thing kept popping up and finally I yelled at it, "JUST GO AWAY!" Wm, without missing a beat, goes, "OK," and walks away.  Haha!!!  I was like, "Dude, I wasn't talking to you!  Who randomly yells at someone to go away?" Wm laughed and goes, "I wondered why you were so mean all of a sudden!"  It's nice to know he was so agreeable to just going away, though. May have to use that...

Art Show

It was a crazy day!!  It was our annual awards banquet thing at work and the Art Show at Wm's school all in one evening.  We are all dead tired now!  But, Wm had a piece displayed at the art show, so we had to go!  And it was great! Wm did a self portrait.  Is it me or does he look like he's in a straight jacket?  How appropriate is that?  Especially with this face:

Certified lunatic 

Wm and Steve were reading on the couch before bed and Steve started singing a hilarious song. I tried to capture it on film and Steve was NOT pleased.

Then, shamelessly getting Wm on my side, we convinced Steve to sing again!  But, sadly, it was not nearly as good as when he was singing before (when he would not have known he was being filmed - damn my iphone for dinging when it starts recording!)

One Year Closer to Dying

A delightful end to a crazy afternoon:  I am tucking Wm into bed this evening and he goes, "I can't wait for my birthday!"  Then a pause, and he says, "But...this is one year closer to dying." Cheery little fellow.

Going back a bit, this afternoon blew.  Our department chair took us to lunch at Bravo for Staff Appreciation Week. It was a late lunch and we lingered. The whole Bravo lunch thing threw me off and I was looking at my clock thinking it was 2, but it was 3. I realized at 3:18 that I was still at work and literally just grabbed my stuff, left everything on in my office and SPRINTED to my car. I drove home so fast I couldn't even believe it and got to Wm's school at 3:32. He was walking out and looking around the playground sort of confused/worried. I stopped in the middle of the street and screamed out the window "WILLIAM!!!!!!!" Luckily, he saw me and started to walk over, but the crosswalk lady screamed into my face, "YOU CAN'T PARK HERE!" So I drove up a ways and just pulled into someone's driveway and got out and flagged Wm down (who again didn't see me and was looking worried). As I crossed to get him, the crosswalk lady screamed from down the street (she was a real piece of work) "CROSSWALK! CROSSWALK! CROSSWALK!" I just waved like, "oh, hello, crazy person, I can't hear you...whaaaa?" and ignored her and got Wm and stuffed him into the car and drove home. I was all shaky and nauseous after the whole episode of nearly forgetting my kid. Wm, however, was unfazed as soon as he got home and got kettle corn.

Biker

Steve didn't believe that I had taught Wm to ride his bike, so we went to the parking lot at my office (huge and empty) and let Wm ride all around.  Then we took him over to the bike path and playground.  I think he rode for a couple miles today!  He's a pro now! (Ignore the creepy predator on the tiny razor scooter.)



It was really nice today so we cooked out some really good hamburgers and had corn on the cob.  It felt like summer!

Steve also finally got around to filling up my apocalypse water barrel.  He had a bunch of giant food grade barrels from the concession stand at work.  The only problem is that it had been filled with blue raspberry Hawaiian Punch. I have been begging Steve to clean and fill it (for like MONTHS).  Finally today he got around to it.  However, he filled it sitting right in the middle of the basement blocking our dehumidifier.  Aaaaand, it's too heavy to move.  So, I guess we will have our water for the end times, but currently can't get to our dehumidifier.  Or sump pump. And it still smells like blue raspberry Hawaiian Punch.

Tooth Update

After 24 hours in coke, Wm's tooth looks like this:

Very dark brown, and chunks of it are sloughing off (I tried to show some floating in the drips).  Ironically, I took this picture against the white backdrop of Steve's reminder postcard of his dental appointment next week.

I also tried to mess with Steve and texted him at 3:40 yesterday that I had forgotten to pick Wm up from school (when, in fact, Wm and I were walking home from school at that exact moment).  I figured Steve would freak out and Wm and I could high five over our shared love of annoying Steve.  Not really.  He only wrote back, "really?  he will be pissed." And didn't seem to care at all.  This was Wm's response:

We had high winds and a mini-thunderstorm yesterday evening and Wm FREAKED out.  Steve was at acupuncture and Wm kept crying and screaming, "I want Daddy to come home IMMEDIATELY!" I told him we were all fine and he was crying and screaming, "I want the whole family here IMMEDIATELY!"  He was very intense about everything happening IMMEDIATELY.  Finally, I distracted him with Xbox and he forgot that he was doomed.  And then the winds stopped and all was well. It probably doesn't help that he is currently reading a book all about tornadoes. 

The Tooth

This is Wm's tooth after 3 HOURS in Coke (it had been pearly white). Wm was horrified.  It was also kind of soft and mushy.  Gross.

Also...

Wm: [disdainfully] Have you ever had to DEAL with kindergartners?

Me: Yeah...you.  Last year.

Wm: [snort] No.  Like a KINDERGARTNER.

Me: I have no idea what you're talking about.

Wm: Frank* at camp is in kindergarten.  And he really bothers me.

Me: Is he mean to you?

Wm: No, he's nice.  But he is NOT smart.  And it is annoying.

Me: Well, dude, he is a little guy!!

Wm: Mommy...he thinks the plural of fish is fishes.  FISHES!  [laughing] And the plural of cactus is cactuses!  I can't even talk to him.  It is so annoying.

Me: Jesus Christ, Wm, he's a little kid. Cut him some slack! 

Wm: He's only one year younger than me!

Me: Well, Wm you are in a classroom with first and second graders who are moving through the material very fast.  Frank is the only kindergartner you really talk with - I just don't think you realize how little they are.  It's totally normal and fine for him to mix up words sometimes.

Wm: I just can't DEAL with him.  [sigh]

*Names changed to protect the innocent.

And in other news, Wm is officially training wheel-less.  We were nearly there at the end of last summer, but not quite.  I took him out yesterday afternoon and he nailed it!! The only thing that sucks is that he makes me jog along side him the entire time he rides.  I thought I was going to die by the time he was finished.  He also let me cut his hair!  Wm is turning a corner: agreeing to swimming lessons, riding a two wheeler, cutting his hair agreeably, taking showers.  Growing up!!

Diamonds

Wm lost Tooth #2!  And now his two front teeth are a bit loose.  But, since it takes Wm 800 years to get a tooth out, he'll probably be 8 before they fall out.  He is very excited to conduct a "science experiment" with his tooth - he is going to put it in a glass of coke and check it every day to see what the coke does to the tooth.  Hopefully Steve is watching!

And, walking home from school today...
Wm: Do you know how diamonds are made?
Me: Does it involve coal?
Wm: No. Volcanoes.
Me: Ummm...really?
Wm: Yes. [Long and involved description of how diamonds are made from magma.]
Me: Where did you hear that?
Wm: I invented it.  But it sounds like it could be real.

Scooby-Doo

Third post in one day, but I had to share this.  While watching Scooby-Doo Wm says: "You know, it's hard to believe teenagers could solve all these crimes that the police can't."

Artist

Also, Wm drew a "mechanical spider" and it is wicked good!!!

Swimming

Wm had his first swim lesson yesterday - and it went better than I expected.  He actually got into the water within the first 5 minutes without barfing and/or crying.  He was quickly sorted into the small group of children clinging to the edge of the pool while the the rest were sorted into "average" and "advanced" groups and moved on with the lesson.  Meanwhile, 2 instructors mostly just tried to gently pry Wm's group away from the wall.  They did it well and even gave the weirdo kid group some "free play time" in the baby pool (the rest of the normies got freeplay in the big pool).  But the biggest win was that Wm actually seemed to have fun and said he plans to willingly return for next week's lesson!

Sorted into 3 groups...Wm in the far corner

Wm pale and clinging to the side

The instructor floating Wm around - successfully IN the pool!

Truffle Shuffle

Wm and I are home partying today - on his last day of spring break.  He has the countdown to summer break going hardcore now.  I talked Wm into taking an actual shower!  It went fairly well. He did not like washing his hair in there - he was all weird about soap getting into his eyes and kept screaming for a towel.  But, when it was all over, he decreed it "faster and easier than a bath."  So I am hoping we are entering into the time when we can just be all, "go take a shower," and be done with it.

Wm has his first swim lesson tomorrow!  He is DREADING it - but I am anxious to see how it goes!  I am hopeful that the Red Cross can break him.

We have started a weekly movie night on Saturday where Wm gets to stay up late and we all watch a movie and eat popcorn.  So far, we have watched The Goonies, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, and Pirates.  This has turned out to be one of Wm's most favorite things.  He LOVED the Goonies.  It's one of Steve's favorite movies, so he's very pleased.  He wasn't as pleased when I did the Truffle Shuffle the next day.  Actually, when I started to do it, Steve thought it was funny, but then goes, "wait...stop...OK...I don't want that in my brain...ew."

Mistaken Hubby

I texted Steve that I missed him today at work and this was his response (ignore the Red Dawn talk...WOLVERINES!!!!!):

What a wiener

Welcome Evvie!

Welcome to the family, Evelyn Matilda!!!!!!!!!!!!

Beyond the super excitement of our first niece (and girl cousin!), we all took a vacation day today and partied down.  Uncle Drew and Aunt Jess got Wm a kite for Christmas and it was very sunny and very windy today - perfect.  So we took Wm to the park and he had a blaaaaast flying his kite!

Wm getting the gist from Daddy

Getting higher!

Wm LOVED his kite! 

Mommy assisting

Look how high!

I named him TwinkleToes Pterodactyl.  Wm wanted Terry.  Bor-ing.