Hypocrite

Wm and I were discussing hunting when Wm suggested I hunt an animal to make me a fur coat for the winter.

Me: I would never do that.

Wm: Why?

Me: I would never wear a fur coat.  That is evil. [light bulb going off in my head] Hey...I just realized something.

Wm: What?

Me: I am a big, fat hypocrite. 

Wm: What is a hypocrite?

Me: Someone who says one thing, then does something else.  Like, I just said I'd never wear a fur coat because it hurts animals...yet I have no problem eating a hamburger.  And eating meat hurts animals just as much as wearing fur coats.  So...that is a hypocrite. Me. I am a hypocrite.  Because, I plan to continue to eat meat and refuse to wear fur.

Wm: Don't worry, Daddy is also a hypocrite.

Me: Why - what does he do?

Wm: He always SAYS he is going to remember to turn off the porch light in the morning...but then he never DOES.

Me: While that is annoying, it's not really being a hypocrite.

Wm: I think it is.  Daddy is a hypocrite.  

Tooth Fairy

The Tooth Fairy visited last night!  I recorded Wm's very tired excitement.  (Note: you'll notice I accidentally bleach stained Wm's pillow.  My bad.)

Toothless!

Wm finally lost his tooth!  It just sort of fell out of his head finally.  Steve had to give it a gentle tug as it dangled from Wm's mouth to get it finally all the way out.  But it is officially out and tucked away in his special tooth fairy pillow!  It was the tiniest thing I've ever seen.  For reference, here is the tooth next to a Starburst candy.

Toothless Willie!

Wm has gone sledding twice this weekend.  He has been having the time of his life in the snow. And he finally appreciates the ninja hat we got him for Christmas.

Code Breaker

Wm has discovered a love of codes.  He writes intricate symbols for each letter of the alphabet and sends Steve and I encoded messages using the symbols.  He also came home from school today with a folder paper jobbie that "predicts who I will marry."  I totally remember those from when I was little!  It's disconcerting that Wm is old enough to be making and playing with those now. He's getting so big!

He is also the scrawniest thing alive.  After bath, as I was giving him his full anti-eczema grease up, Steve walked in and was like, "my god, I can see every rib." And Wm goes, "watch how I can move my body!"  Then did this weird worm move that was hilarious.  But also disturbing because you can see every bone in his body sticking out. I'm putting that kid on an all-bacon diet.

Wm just came down to show me how he can wiggle his loose tooth with his tongue and it the grossest thing ever.  He thinks it is HILARIOUS to gross me out by wiggling it all around with his tongue.  He laughed so hard, he gave himself the hiccups.

Funny Steve

Ever since I made a joke in class about looking young that did not go over well, I have been harassing Steve to tell me if I'm aging poorly.  I think he's tired of me bothering him.
Me: STEVE.  Seriously.  Look at my face.  Tell me the truth.
Steve: Yes, you are still beautiful.
Me: Really?
Steve: YES.  Why do you think I married you?  It wasn't for your personality, that's for sure.
HA!  Love him.  No one ever gets how hilarious Steve is (Mostly they think he's mean, if anything, because his delivery is so dry.  That makes it even funnier.)

Also, he has been accusing me of staging the robbery.  He got an expensive, complicated universal remote for his birthday from my mom.  I hated that thing.  I couldn't even change the channel.  But 4 days after that, it was stolen in the robbery.  It was the one silver lining of the whole thing for me.  I did The Dance of Joy when I realized the burglars had taken the hated remote.  Steve was very sad about it and threatened to get a new one.  After much pleading, he agreed not to - but has, ever since, been a bit suspicious that I have all our stuff in storage somewhere.

Weekend Fun

Wm did a great job at his basketball game!  Sadly, they were annihilated by the far superior other team. But annoyingly, they don't keep official score.  (This bugs me greatly since I think kids need to learn how to lose.  Life isn't a tie.  Now Wm won't have the skills he needs to cope with loss.)  They sure were cute, though.  Here is Wm and Bestie:

Then, while Mimi and I went shopping for birthday goodies (thank you, Mimi!), Wm and Steve went to the Lego exhibit at the Art Museum.  Wm proclaimed it FAR superior to the COSI Lego exhibit.

Wm loved the thing in the background.

The Lego Shoe! O-H!

We got Wm his first tie shoes today.  He is baffled by the whole affair.  And grumpy.  So....hopefully he figures that out soon.  

The Tooth is hanging on for dear life.  And since Wm does not like to touch it, he may be in high school before that thing falls out.  I am permitted to check its wiggliness once per day if I am "very gentle."

Steve has to go to work tomorrow, but Wm and I are off for a day of fun together!  And in other work-related news, I have hired a new advisor!  I am very excited to be working with her - and she starts Feb 4!!  Wheeeee!!!!!

Lastly, I am writing this on our new laptop!  We got our insurance check and all is well.  Nothing left to do now!  Except have the whole house painted this summer...

Tooth Fairy

Two posts in one day!  Can you stand it?  But, all kinds of things are have happened that must be shared.  First, Wm went to basketball practice looking like this:

I didn't notice when we left the house, then when he jumped out of the car, I was like, "Uhhhh...what's on your feet?" So Wm had to do the entire practice in crazy shoes.

THEN, we discovered Wm has his first loose tooth!!!  The tooth fairy will be here soon!  Wm isn't sure about any of this tooth-losing business.

Last, I have to share the awesome slippers that Suzanne MADE for me with her own HANDS (and needles)!  AMAZING!  I have been wearing them constantly and my tootsies have never been warmer.  Thank you, Suz!

Exterminator

I came home from work to find this on the bathroom sink handle:

So I screamed, ran away, and washed my hands downstairs.  I had to go pick up Wm and on the way home, I showed him the picture of The Bug (which I had taken to text to Steve in a panic).  He goes, "why didn't you just kill it?" and I go, "because it's freakin' creepy, man!" and Wm sighed and said, "I will kill it when we get home."  I was super impressed and thinking he was growing up! He was now big enough to be The Big Bug Killer Man of the house!  Then Wm asked, "did you at least close the bathroom door?" When I told him I hadn't thought of that, I just RAN, he goes, "Geez, Mommy.  C'mon."  (He's more like his father every day - his disappointment in my decision-making skills is all Steve.)  

As soon as we get home, I say, "OK - go kill the bug!"  Wm is all, "NO!" and ran away.  He woudln'te even go upstairs.  Haha!!!  So then he screams at me to go kill it. I went upstairs and it was gone.  Wm then begins freaking out because The Bug is somewhere in our house - it could be anywhere. He is ranting and raving about how The Bug's disappearance is my fault for not closing the door and I have to locate and kill The Bug.  I looked around for a minute, gave up, and came downstairs.  I had to make Wm a snack to distract him from the fact that The Bug could be lurking anywhere.  

So much for the Big Bug Killer.

***UPDATE***

When Steve got home, he showed me a text Wm sent him.  Loved. It.

Done!

Well, the Saga of the Door is finally complete.  Here is the Door Timeline.

Right after robbery.

Mid-way through (looked like this for a while!)

DONE!

Using the warm weather, Steve painted the door, stained the frame, and spackled up and finished around the frame.  It feels really good to have it looking normal again!  The only thing left to do is replace the laptop when we finally get our check from insurance.  Back in the saddle again...

Wm is now off to a birthday party.  He has a pocket full of lactaid and is cranky that he gets no presents. The Countdown to his birthday has begun.

The Artist

Since it's weirdly 65 degrees in the middle of January, it seemed like a good time to paint the new back door.  Wm wanted to help out, so I made him strip to his underpants thinking that would decrease the mess.  Still, it only lasted about 5 minutes before Steve discovered he had tracked paint everywhere and he was sent to play with Legos elsewhere.  It was cute while it lasted.

And, anyway, Steve is crabby in general today.

Me: Am I aging well? Or do I look like an old dishrag, ya think?

Steve: You look fine.

Me: Fiiiine, huh?  Well, be careful or I may start to get a big head with compliments like those.

Steve: [silence]

Teaching

This morning before work...
Me: I teach today. Yuck.  Guess how many students are in my class, Wm!
Wm: [bored] 400.
Me: YES!  That is exactly right!  That's amazing!
Wm: [now bored AND disdainful] Uh, you've only told me that like a million times.

Oobleck

Wm and I made oobleck today.  He was not a fan. He just kept saying, "this is gross...can I wash my hands now?"  So much for hands-on science experimentation.

So then we brought a bunch of snow in a bowl and did different things with that.  It was a much bigger hit.  We planned to go to the Art Museum to see the Lego exhibit that Papa recommended, but the time got away from us!  It will be something to look forward to next weekend!  

Also....

Me: [browsing the library's website for something to read tonight] Hey, Steve, wanna read 50 Shades Darker?  It is available now.

Steve: Pffft.

Wm: I thought it was 50 Shades of Grey?

Me: How have you heard of 50 Shades of Grey?

Wm: You talked about it CONSTANTLY a while ago.

Fierce

Wm and I were taking a walk this afternoon.  And Wm used this time to walk behind me and pelt me with snowballs in the back.  After one particularly deadly shot, I go, "man, buddy...that was hard!" and Wm yells, "I am small...but I AM FIERCE!" Then, we had this conversation....

Wm: You are short for a grownup.
Me: OK.
Wm: And Daddy is tall for a grownup.
Me: Yep.
Wm: I am short for a kid.
Me: Yeah, you are. We're both short. But being short is awesome.
Wm: Why?
Me: Because we're cute.
Wm: Yeah, people tell me that all the time.
Me: That's because you are super cute.
Wm: I know.

Basketball

Wm had his first basketball game today!  The uniform is about 4 sizes too big and it hilarious - but it's the smallest one they make.  Here are some pre-game shots.

Little Larry Bird

Pretty excited!

Not pleased about having to tuck in his shirt

I also got a video of Wm's assist!  He is dribbling the ball down the court, passes it to his BFF, who then makes a basket!  It was all very exciting:

Wm's favorite part, as usual, was getting to go out to lunch with his friend after the game.  Wm says he wants to take tennis lessons.  I am down with that!  I would much prefer that over basketball or stinky 'ole soccer!

Bed Mapping

This made me laugh so hard because this outlines pretty much EXACTLY what Steve says every single day - and has for 15 years.  Apparently he is not alone.

Woman Movies

Me: Hey, Willie, wanna watch a movie with me?
Wm: OK.  What movie?
Me: I saw Pocahontas was on Netflix!
Wm: Hm.
Me: Orrrrrrr....Mirror, Mirror is also new on there.
Wm: [Sigh] Whatever floats your boat.  I will watch one of your 'woman movies.'

Christmas Continued!

We got one more Christmas celebration!  Grandma and Grandpa came down to celebrate with us and Wm was the lucky recipient of Skylanders Giants.  He has done pretty much nothing else besides play that shiz since then.  We always give him a bit of unlimited screen time after a cool new thing arrives - and he's on vacation! Wm also got a Toys R Us gift card from Yaya that he IMMEDIATELY wanted to go and spend.  It was gone by the end of the day.  Steve got a couple really cute pictures of Wm in his jammies from Grandma and Grandpa and playing with the set he got at Toys R Us, but they're on his phone, not mine, so they will have to come later!

In other news, our back door should be finished today!  WHEEEEE!  Thank god.  Then, we can finally send all our junk off to insurance and get reimbursed.  Our alarm came a couple days ago and Steve installed it easily.  We're nearly 100% back on track.

Today is Mimi's birthday!  Happy birthday, Mimi!!!