Good Talk

Me: Your fingernails need to be cut.  Why don't you do it?
Wm: No.
Me: Why not?
Wm: I tried once and hurt myself.
Me: How about you try again?
Wm: No.
Me: How about we agree that you'll try again when you're 7?
Wm: No. When I'm 20.

And, Steve is evil...
Me: I'm going to buzz my hair.
Steve: No.
Me: Yes.
Steve: I won't do it.
Me: That's the awesome part...I don't need you.
Steve: No.
Me: YES.
Steve: I will leave you. [pause] Good talk. [slaps my butt HARD].  Love you. [walks out of room.]
Me: [plotting]