We leave Saturday to take Wm up to Grandma and Papa's for his Wm Vacation. I'm not sure who is looking forward to it more...us or Wm. I am creating a long list of things Steve and I must do in our awesome kidless frenzy of adultness.
I'm pretty sure almost everyone who reads this has already been subjected to a long story about my Eyeball Adventures. So I will give you a brief (see: long) rundown...
1. I showed up and was given Valium. I was VERY relaxed in the waiting room. So relaxed, in fact, things happened. Steve, sitting next me on the couch, whispered furiously, "Jesus F-ing Christ, did you just fart in a waiting room filled with people?" My response: insane giggling. Then they called my name and things took a turn.
2. I went back and laid down on the table. The process went as follows:
- they pried my eyeball open with some contraption and filled in with a gallon of drops
- I watched as sharp implements did something to my eyeball, but could feel nothing
- everything went black and I was blind temporarily. The Valium was useless at this point.
- they lasered me for about 30 seconds (while I smelled burning flesh and tried not to wet myself)
- they "closed my eye flap" and a 2 minute psychedelic light show ensued
Repeat on other eye.
3. I could see so-so immediately. My eyes were very scratchy, sore, and irritated. This lasted for about 3 hours.
4. I came home and laid in bed, not napping as instructed, but instead thinking that this was all a big mistake.
5. My eyes felt better and I decided maybe it wasn't a mistake.
6. I took off my shields and discovered things were still foggy and once again decided it was a big mistake.
7. I panicked.
8. I could not do extensive internet research on my symptoms, as I usually would.
9. I panicked some more.
10. I went back to the eye doctor the next day for my follow-up and was told this was normal inflammation and should heal up and go away.
11. I felt better.
12. My eyes are VERY dry. And I have to sleep with weird shields over them. And constantly put drops in them.
13. Day 3: things are still foggy and I decide the eye doctor is lying to me and this is not normal. I panic again.
14. I harass Steve into doing my online research, he assures me this is normal from what he read online and I feel better.
15. Day 5: things are still foggy and I decide Steve is lying to me and this is not normal. I panic again.
16. Today: I go for my latest eye checkup. I can now read the 20/20 line with both eyes working together (though it's not crisp or clear - sort of hazy). The eye doctor tells me there has been a 75% improvement in my inflammation and I am healing very nicely. I am skeptical and can't decide if I want to panic or not. He says I can stop most of the drops and gives me a new ointment that will help the cells smooth out, thus eliminating the haze and making things crisp and clear. I make an appointment to see him in 4 weeks, at which time he assures me that I will be healed and seeing perfectly. I decide to believe him and feel better about the whole business - maybe this was a good idea after all.
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