Funny Wm Convos

Wm: What is this?
Me: It's a buckeye sammy.
Wm: What did you put on it?
Me: On one piece of bread I put chocolate hazelnut spread and on the other is peanut butter. Then I stuck them together. Buckeye sammy!
Wm: YOU ARE A GENIUS.
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Wm: Why do girls have to wipe after they use the bathroom?
Me: Well, boys have a handy dandy little hose. For girls, it's just chaos down there. So they have to wipe to clean stuff up.
Wm: Girls are disgusting.
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Wm: I'm thankful I don't have anger issues.
Me: What?
Wm: Fred* at camp has these weird anger fits where he freaks out and screams and throws things and even hits people sometimes. When I get mad, I just go sit in the corner quietly and don't talk to anyone.
Me: And stew.
Wm: Yeah. But at least I don't have anger issues!
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Me: Daddy told me you said you are afraid you will get old and then starve to death. What's that about?
Wm: Yeah. What if, when I get older, I don't have any money to buy food and I starve to death?
Me: Why do you think you won't have enough money to even buy food?
Wm: I HAVE NO SKILLS!
Me: What do you mean?
Wm: I'll never get a job! I have no job skills!
Me: YOU'RE NINE.
(The conversation continued, in which I convinced him he will, one day, have job skills and will not starve to death. Totally normal stuff for a nine year old, right?)
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They are having their farewell picnic today at Summer Clubhouse. Wm is very sad to see it end! He goes tomorrow to finish up any craft projects and clean out his area. Then, to cheer him up, his bestie is coming over to spend the night. He was invited to Zoombezi Bay with his whole gang of friends, but declined due to fear of death and drowning. Sigh. On Saturday, we head to one of my favorite events: the Food Truck Festival!! YUM! Then, on Sunday, we go up to NE Ohio for Steve to play in an alumni soccer game at his high school and to drop Wm off with Grandma and Grandpa. They are going to hang out with Wm for the week (which is PERFECT since Clubhouse is over and we still have a week and a half before school starts!) Lots of fun stuff before the dreaded First Day of School!