Nighttime Horrors & Barf

Wm has been in school one day this week. ONE. DAY.  He went to Clubhouse yesterday and it was a hot mess (way too many kids...and something else that would become apparent later). When he got home, all seemed normal. But, then at about 11pm, Wm woke up crying and saying his "waist hurt." We got him some water, eventually gave him some Motrin, but he kept getting up and crying and saying his side and waist hurt. I was getting panicky and actually considered taking him to the ER at 1am. The frigid temps were the only thing that kept me from hauling him out. Eventually, I broke out the heating pad and he managed to fall asleep.  I slept with him for a while, fearing his appendix was going to burst or something, but eventually morning came and we were all still alive. My fitness tracker also tracks my sleep - each little green or pink line indicates when my sleep was interrupted. Here is how often Wm disrupted my sleep:

I crawled out of bed this morning, exhausted, and set about canceling my whole day. Emailed students to cancel appointments, canceled my lunch plans with a friend, canceled a meeting - then emailed my boss, the HR admin, and asked a coworker to stick a sign on my door that I was out. I spent my morning putting out crazy fires my absence would cause. My only consolation was that this trouble was SO worth it since I would likely be at Urgent Care with my extremely sick son. Only - at 7:30am, Wm bounded downstairs, fully dressed and singing. I was like, "SERIOUSLY...WHuT." He was like, "Oh, the bathrooms at Clubhouse are gross and I had to poop yesterday, so I just sucked it in all day. I woke up 10 minutes ago and took a GIANT poop and now I feel all better. What's for breakfast?" He just had to poo!!!!! All that because the kid is a timid pooper! 

The cat was yowling crazily and I noticed I hadn't fed him since I got up because I was busy with other things. I filled his bowl and then got Wm his breakfast. While I made Wm's breakfast, Schroeder proceeded to stuff himself so full of food that he puked everywhere. And I mean EVERYWHERE. As I was cleaning up a giant pile of cat vom, I happened to look inside my shoe. INSIDE my shoe. There wasn't like a little bit of barf that had gotten in there. It was like he actively thought, "I am going to fill up this shoe with my barf." And it was the super expensive insulated Merrell mocs I had splurged on because they would "last forever." Now FILLED with cat puke. I called Steve in a psychotic frenzy, wildly yelling about the cat, puke, and my shoe, and eventually just screamed, "I HAVE TO GO TAKE CARE OF THIS VOMIT!" and hung up on him as he tried to decipher what the heck was going on. I won't go into detail, but suffice it to say, it was just as disgusting as you imagine. Now my shoe, soaking wet inside and out, is propped over a heating vent airing out. And the cat has been circling me all day, begging me for more food! He clearly does not understand just what thin ice he is on.

I guess there are positives: Wm is totally healthy, I have an unexpected vacation day and don't have to go out in the cold, Wm found the shoe of barf HILARIOUS, and he feels so bad for me that he is being insanely nice and helpful. But I am so ready for spring. So so so ready for spring.