New Pet

Wm: Can I have a pet?
Me: Sure - what do you want?
Wm: A snake.
Me: Gross.  OK - whatever.
Wm: I'll need to get it a collar.
Me: Snakes don't wear collars, dude.  He will just live in a snake cage-like aquarium thing.
Wm: But what about when I take him for a walk? Or a slither, I guess.
Me:  Snakes don't take walks/slithers.  They just live in their aquarium all the time.  If you got a nice hamster, you could get a little ball it could roll around the house in.
Wm: Hmmm.
Me: Also, just throwing this out there - you do realize that you'd have to feed this snake mice and/or crickets, right?
Wm: Ew.
Me: Yeah.  And you CANNOT get a venomous snake, you do know that, right?
Wm: But I wanted a black mamba!
Me: NO.  You cannot have a black mamba.  That will kill you, man.
Wm: FINE. [pouting]