Best. Son. Ever.

I just found a piece of paper crammed into Wm's backpack.  I'd take a picture and put it up here, but Wm did it in yellow and it's hard to read.  It will be hung up though.  Oh, yes, it will be hung up!  It reads:

WILLIAM 

I LOVE YOU MOM!!!

[drawing of said mom - sans hair for some reason]

As I tucked him into bed, I gave him a big hug and told him I LOVED his picture and he goes, "well, you're the best mom in the world - I love you more than anything!"  I find the timing (right before Christmas) *somewhat* suspicious.  But I am just going to believe that he is 100% in earnest - because it's pretty sweet.  Wm says he's making one for Steve tomorrow.  Hopefully not in yellow.

Game Boy

Wm has major Turner genes going on: he LOVES games.  Games of all kinds.  He is obsessed with Uno and wants to play constantly.  I am about Unoed out!  His other favorites include Sorry!, Trouble, and Operation.  He is something of a sore loser.  Steve and I don't want him to win all the time, but after a number of losses in a row, we'll try to stack the deck in his favor so that he gets some wins in there too.  He caught me shuffling the cards of Sorry! around so he'd win and he pointed a boney finger in my face and screamed," YOU CHEATED SO I WOULD WIN!  SANTA SAW THAT, CHEATER!!!!!"  Of course, he let the win stand.

Wm earned a family game night this evening by being all green today!  (Despite an indoor recess even!)

You can see the joy on his face.

Note the concentration

Craptastic Thanksgiving of Doom

Well, this may have been the worst Thanksgiving of my adult life. Steve infected me with his whooping cough-like illness and I felt awful on Tuesday and Wednesday. Then, woke up Thursday feeling like hell.  Steve thought we should just stay home, but I didn't want to be the Angel of Death for Thanksgiving.  So we packed up a pharmacy of drugs for me and hit the road north.  I was running on 3 hours of sleep in the last 48 hour period.  It was not good.  Steve and Wm had a blast up in Warren though!!  But, I hadn't even slept in my own bed in 3 nights (it was the couch for me) and I spent most of the nights hacking and/or pacing around.  So we came home so I could hack and pace in my own living room - and be near my supply of teas, medications, and DVRed shows.  I woke up on Friday and Steve goes, "Good god - you need to go the doctor...you like like a zombie.  You look practically dead."  And that's about how I felt.  I sent Steve to the pharmacy to get me a neti pot and lots of new and stronger meds.    Finally, last night, I managed (still not in bed, mind you) to get about 6 hours of sleep.  And I woke up today feeling like I'm on the mend!!  I still haven't showered or changed out of the same jammies I put on as soon as we got home Thursday.  I'm smelling a bit ripe.  I tried to give Steve a kiss under the mistletoe and he ran for the hills.

I had set up shop on the couch and the coffee table with blankets, pillows, tissues, glasses of various fluids, books, the iPad, and all the necessities.  Steve goes, "Where is the remote control, Wm?  Oh...it's over here in Mommy's Fortress of Solitude."  Ahhh, Steve...gets me every time.

But - we did put up the Christmas decorations and trees today!  It's feeling festive!!

Wm has begun the count to Christmas.  He keeps saying, "I am SO EXCITED for Christmas!!!!!"  He is plotting to stay awake to try and see Santa. We'll see how long that lasts...

Wm gets a special little tree just for him in his room.  He looooves putting it up!

That's What She Said

Today is Wm's last day of school before his Thanksgiving break.  I took tomorrow off to hang out with him, so I am pretty excited about that!!!  As we were walking up to the bus stop this morning, we had a hilarious conversation.  Steve and I always interject with "that's what she said" a la Michael Scott (for all your Office watchers!)  But, clearly, Wm does not get the innuendo behind "that's what she said."  He just knows that Steve or I will say something seemingly innocuous like, "it was a foot long at least," and the other will follow with, "that's what she said," and then we both laugh like hyenas.  So, Wm has taken to working it in to try and get laughs (a natural comedian, that one).  Here is how it went down this morning...

Me: We have a vacation day tomorrow!  What should we do?
Wm: That's what she said!
Me: [laughs]
Wm: [at least a full 2 minutes pause and then mumbles to himself] I don't even know why that's funny.

Unjustly Blamed

We have lost our iTouch.  Steve is in a FRENZY. He made me help him divide Wm's room into a search grid and tear it apart.  We looked in the closets, in our shoes, in the basement, even in the attic crawl space.  No iPod.  So the entire time this search is going on, Steve is switching back and forth between blaming Wm and blaming me.  He was all, "When your mom gave it back to you, that's the last time we saw it!  What did you do with it?!!?"  Then he'd go, "Wm!  Where did you take it?!!?  We know you have it! You always have it!"  Finally, this morning, he says, "when did I go to Urgent Care?"  YES!  Turns out that STEVE took the iTouch to Urgent Care and THAT is when it went missing!  So, STEVE is the culprit!!!!  When I told him to go search his car, he goes, "where are my keys?"  Then spent 10 minutes tearing the house apart looking for his keys.  Finally, not finding them, he just used mine (always kept in the same place, I might add).  I asked him why he was so intent to find the iTouch when he had never shown that much interest in it and he goes, "well, I lost my MP3 player and wanted to use that instead."

Tally of stuff Steve has lost: 3
Tally of stuff Cory has lost: 0
Tally of stuff Wm has lost: 0

Steve just came in from his car.  He was all, "I FOUND IT!!!!!"  It had fallen out of his pocket and down between the seat the and door and was wedged in there.  He was all smiles and glee.  But then said, "OK...now I'm going to look for my keys.  When did you see them last?"

Steve's updated tally: 2

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Christmas is in the air!  Wm toiled for HOURS over his Christmas list.  He wrote the whole thing himself!  He got online and looked up what he wanted, then wrote it down on his letter to Santa.  He did great!  I have to admit...it did take me about 20 minutes to decipher the whole thing.  But, for his first time...winning!!

The top says:

Dear Santa, I got a blue card and I hold the door for Mom.  I have been a good boy.  I will leave you cookies when you come.  Here is my list.

There's a lot on that list!  But, I figured divvied up between all interested parties, we should be able to make most of it happen.  You'll notice that the word "Lego" appears quite often.

Then, when we were at Lowe's, Wm found a dancing Christmas hat that lit up and played music.  Of course, he couldn't resist dancing along with the hat.

Bonjour!

Wm had an insane milk mustache happening at dinner (I think he was trying to take part in Movember).  Wm's mustache even curled up at the ends daintily.  I kept calling him Pierre and talking with a French accent.  But, eventually, Wm got annoyed and was all, "knock it off."  I tried to get a picture of it, but you can't really see his Pierre-stache in its full glory:

Ooooooo la la!

Wm said tonight of one of his classmates, "I don't like him.  He cries for chocolate milk all the time.  I'm like, 'dude, chocolate milk isn't even good for your body - calm down.' But he doesn't listen. He does not need chocolate milk.  It has way too much sugar." NICE.

Conferencin'

Tonight was our Parent-Teacher Conference.  We were pretty nervous going in (especially because Wm has had some behavior issues the past couple days). But it went really well!!  Mrs. Couch said she wants to keep Wm challenged, so she has moved him on to first grade readers and his reading group book this week is an E Level reader.  Wm read it with ease.  I will not be surprised if Wm has surpassed first grade reading level before he even starts first grade!  The same goes with math.  Mrs. Couch said Wm is actually at the point of understanding the principles of multiplication.  She gave us some ideas to work with Wm to engage his interest and learning in math since he seems to like it so much.  It's online games, so he will probably also enjoy it!!

The things Wm needs to work on are neatness (his writing and assignments are hurried and sloppy as he rushes to complete them and move on to the next thing) and "respecting others."  Apparently his wiggles are not a problem, but he moves into other people's space and then becomes a disruption.  So Mrs. Couch told us to encourage Wm to keep his body in his space and respect other peoples' space.  That bit is easier said that done!!   But we'll try!

Overall, Wm seems to be doing very well!  We feel much relieved after going in for the conference.  Thank goodness Mrs. Couch is no Meanie!!

We got to bring home the timeline Wm made of his life.  It was done before he was writing himself, so it is as dictated by Wm to me (you can click it to enlarge it so you can read it...maybe):

I am a Moron

I am off today for Veteran's Day.  I assumed Wm was off to - it's a bank holiday and it seems like that kid is never in school.  Steve decided to take the day off too.  But then we woke up this morning and saw all the kids walking to the bus stop.  I got online and saw that Wm DOES have school today.  But we'd been promising the kid he could have a 3 day weekend for 2 weeks. And we were late anyway.  So I called him off.  He's getting Steve cold anyway, I guess.  But I am so mad at myself!!!  Steve and I could so have used the day to do fun adult things!  I don't even remember the last time we had any prolonged Wm-free time.  And I blew it!!!!  ARG!  But Wm is, of course, thrilled.

Wm has also inherited my love of messing with people's minds.  He got off the bus yesterday and says, "Mommy, I hate to tell you this - I got a red card today and there is a note in my backpack from Mrs. Couch."  I'm all upset.  And Wm keeps up the charade the entire walk home.  He could have won an Oscar for the performance.  We get inside and I dig out the note from Mrs. Couch.  But it says he had an all green day and "exhibited great self control" that day!  I look up and Wm has this huge, evil grin on his face and he screams, "I TRICKED YOU!!!!!!!"  Then danced around and laughed like an insane person.  I go, "let's trick Daddy!"  So, when Steve got home, the trick was repeated to great success.  Only this time, I got to dance around and laugh too since I was in on it.  I told Steve how he got me too and Steve goes, "good god, he is totally your son...we are in trouble."

First Report Card

Steve discovered Wm's first report card buried in his backpack this morning - I missed it yesterday.  In all his key academics Wm got "exceeding" - in fact, he has already surpassed kindergarten reading level. They have reading levels A, B, C, and D - and the goal is to be reading "D Level" books at the end of kindergarten and into first grade.  Wm's report card said he has already read all the D Level books.  So hopefully they can find something to keep Wm entertained for the rest of the year!!!  Wm also got high marks in Math (got that from  his dad) and has surpassed kindergarten math skills.

Conversely, Wm got "needs improvement" on pretty much all the social stuff - listens, plays well with friends, sits still and pays attention.  But...that was to be expected.  Plus, kid has got to be pretty damn bored a lot of the time!  Oh, but he didn't do so well in penmanship.  Ironically, if I remember correctly, I always got needs improvement in that as well.  I still write like crap.  Who needs penmanship these days anyway, right?  I type like the wind.

We go in for our parent-teacher conference next Wednesday [cue scary music]

Roids

Steve is feeling MUCH better today after he started the meds yesterday and actually slept through the night!  He's actually in some strange euphoric energy-filled crazy excited state after feeling crappy for so long.  I called him at work today and this is how it went...

Me: How are you feeling?
Steve: GREAT!!!!!!
Me: Awesome.  It's about time, right?
Steve: TOTALLY!!!!!!!!
Me: Wow, you seem to be in a great mood.
Steve: I KNOW, RIGHT?!?!!?!?  I THINK IT'S THE ROIDS!
Me: Well, good for you!
Steve: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

I took a picture of Steve's "medicine cabinet" (aka our dining room table) so you can see what it's taken to get him to this point:

He is on some strange drug schedule like an 80 year old man.  But, at least it's working!

Steve, however, is my hero - my knight in shining armor.  Wm is being a real turd this evening - and Steve, in all his euphoria, was all, "I am going to go get an Xbox game!  It's on SALE today!  And, I'll take Wm to Best Buy with me!"  So, Steve took away Spawn of Satan and I'm blissfully home all alone. Best. Husband. Ever.

Wm Voted Today!

Steve has had an awful cough for over a week - and has gotten almost no sleep because he's up all night hacking.  Henceforth, I have gotten no sleep. Needless to say, we are unhappy.  I finally talked Steve into going to the doctor today.  Turns out he is a big pile of infection (namely, sinus).  I guess the sinus icky was dripping down the back of his throat and causing the cough.  So now Steve is on a steroid, an antibiotic, a nasal spray, a codeine cough syrup, and something for his stomach because he's on so many meds.  He is a sad sack.  That didn't stop us from going out to vote, though!

Steve and I walked up to get Wm from the bus stop (Steve was home early due to his doctor's appointment) and then we walked up the street to vote.  Wm LOVED it!!!  He says he can't wait to be 18 so he can vote himself.  He even got to push some of the voting buttons.  AND, he got a sticker.

Then we came home and I made chili for dinner - with homemade cornbread (a first!)  Steve was a big fan.  I thought it would be soothing for all his ailments.

Picasso

Wm drew an awesome picture today at school.  It is a picture of the family and the iPad (can you tell he loves it?) Then he "wrote a story" about the iPad all by himself with NO help!!  He sounded out all the words himself.  See if you can figure out what it says (I will decipher it at the bottom of the drawing):

(Translation: I bought an iPad and I played on it)

Wm had his first kindergarten play date today. And, very weirdly, while I was talking with his friend's mom, we discovered we went to the same high school and she knew and was friends with Drew!  Crazy times.  Wm had the time of his life and did NOT want to leave.  I had to drag him home and he talked about nothing else...until he was allowed to play on the iPad - and then all else faded into the background.

iPaddin'

Due to the fact that Steve's computer pretty much died, we have finally purchased an iPad. I'm not sure I like it yet...William, however, is VERY sure he likes it. He LOVES it. I am trying this post out on here for the first time. Probably the last...it's a bit weird to use for blogging. But, I took two pictures on here I can't figure out how to get on my computer - so here it goes.

[Note: it did not go well - I am currently fixing all the weird formatting that occurred on the iPad on my laptop.  Note to self, do not use iPad for blogging.]

First treats made with Halloween bounty:

Peanut butter cookies with Halloween kisses

Trail mix with Halloween peanut M&M's

Next week: candy bar brownies!

It's Day 1 and I am not adjusting well to the end of Daylight Savings Time.  It's 9:38 and I am about to go to bed.  Meanwhile, Wm has his big kindergarten play date tomorrow after school.  He is pumped! He got his hair cut tonight, which he HATES.  So I always buzz it all off so that I can go as long as possible before I have to cut it again.  He currently looks ridiculous.  It's a good time.  I'll have to get a picture tomorrow....

I'll end with Wm's current favorite joke (which he thinks is high-larious):

Knock, knock

[who's there?]

Shampoo and conditioner

[shampoo and conditioner who?]

End of joke...cut to Wm's insane laughter

It's *supposed* to go:

Knock, knock

[who's there?]

Shamp

[shamp who?]

AND CONDITIONER!

Vote NO

Wm is a mystery to me.  I can never tell what will resonate with him.  I told him about the birds and bees and he was all, "meh."  But, today, he and I took a walk around the neighborhood and he asked about the "Vote No on Issue 2" signs all around.  So I explained the best I could - and told him that we would be affected by Issue 2 since I am a state employee.  I gave him this big speech on the importance of voting and  educating yourself about the issues before you go.  I asked him he if wanted to come in and watch me vote.  And that was it.  Or so I thought.  About every 10-15 minutes for the last 8 hours, Wm has brought up Issue 2 and asked what happens if "all the bad people vote 'yes' and win."  I keep telling him we will be FINE no matter what, but he's obsessed.  When we video chatted with Drew and Jess, Wm immediately ran over and whispered in my ear, "ask them if they are voting NO on Issue 2!"  He doesn't completely get that they can't vote on Issue 2 in Colorado.  I've created a monster.

In other news, Wm helped me cook vegetable soup for dinner!  He helped with every single step - and I even let him wield his first "grown up knife" with careful observation.  I gave him a big talk on knife safety and them turned him loose.  He did GREAT!  Totally respected the knife and cut up a whole potato!  Ironically, when I put the soup in front of him, he took one bite, spit it back into the bowl and went, "ew...I am not eating that."

Beware of Wm...he has a knife and knows how to use it.

Steve just went to turn on the TV and I said, "do you really need to do that - it's so nice and quiet." Steve made a face at me, but left the TV off.  Then Wm says, "you are making good choices tonight Daddy: sitting nicely, eating a good dinner, not turning on the TV.  I am putting you on a blue card."

Numbers and Letters

Wm is a super genius.  Not only did he get another blue card today, but he got home from school and asked for a piece of paper to write his numbers to 100.  Which he did perfectly.  Then, he wrote all his ABC's.  Lastly, he drew a picture of some dude (riding on what looks like a unicycle) and a rocket ship.  My favorite part is that Wm wrote "SNAP" under the guy on the unicycle.  I couldn't resist taking a picture:

I have been trying to figure out what do about Wm's insane amount of candy.  So he and I sat down and sorted it.  We got rid of all the stuff he doesn't like.  Then, we sorted out all the things I can cook with.  So I am making trail mix with the M&M's, peanutbutter cookies with hershey kisses, brownies with candy bar bits instead of chocolate chips, etc.  Since I usually make Wm a dessert treat each week for his lunch, I'll just work my way through most of the candy baking it into his lunch desserts!  I try to use whole wheat flour and add pureed veggies as much as I can to his desserts so he gets sneaky healthy stuff.  This week I made him whole wheat rolls, but put a teaspoon of Nutella in the middle.  He thought it was a super treat.

Steve has weirdly become obsessed with Adele.  He listens to her all the time.  ALL the time.  I really like her...but now it's stuck in my head constantly.  He's killing me.  Wm said it's "boring" and won't even dance to it.  And he dances to everything.  But Adele is pretty awesome, though.  Wm doesn't appreciate quality music.  Steve just burst into this song as he unloaded the dishwasher (weird timing):

Happy Dance

The Talk

Wm has shown an increasing interest in where babies come from and how they get into the Mommy's belly.  After a failed attempt to try and explain it myself, I tracked down a book.  I did lots of internet searching to find an age appropriate book that wasn't preachy and just got down to the point.  It came in at the library yesterday - and Wm LOVES to come home to find new books waiting for him, so he wanted to read it right away.  I have a crystal clear memory of being told where babies come from...and the horror and disgust that quickly followed.  So I was prepared for lots of questions, shock, and the same horror/disgust.  I started reading the book (which starts with explanation of parts, then gets down to the nitty gritty, and ends with a bit on "OK touches and not OK touches").  When I got to The Part (complete with hilarious cartoon illustration), I read it slowly, watching Wm's face.  Nothing.  So I keep going...and nothing.  NOTHING.  When I finish, I go, "What do you think, bud?  Do you have questions?" He says, "It was a good book."  I tell him, "Yep, and that is REALLY how babies get into bellies - not just a story.  What do you think?  QUESTIONS? REACTION?" He goes, "I do have one question....can I have a snack?"  So...it was all very anti-climactic.  Wm, basically, didn't care at all.  He said it doesn't even matter because he's never having babies and is going to live with us in the pink house forever.  He did want to make sure that Daddy and I would not be making any more babies - he does NOT want a sibling.  And that was that.  Ho hum.